Not taught anymore

I am relaxed emotion gone

clear in mind of what is needed

lost for words when I thought the time

to spew hate would finely arrive and time freezes

for me it’s 5am now always

 

My future is moving to shadow

days no longer have length

This Water depthless would show

were I to crimson turn it

little or nothing of the man

A soulless red stain rim tide

on white porcelain

 

Grip the wrist of my wrinkled

palm, not even a slip in helping

my other now pushing me down

Face warm resisting to spit

reflex to gag seems accepting

soapy warm I need to drink down

 

 

Where is the pain in stopping breathing?

Froglike I am blinking eyes not stinging

How easy is it to drown?

This bath feels deeper than any

lake or sea

Unexpected this, such danger in being alone

fear has fled even panic it seems

will not call, instead courage overpowering

allays to push me headlong

 

Let go

step through

I quit

All this life undone now, being pulled

not pushed

I regret every hour............................

I struggled for rainbows

Wrestled with sunny days