Defintely not modish or particularly intentional or forced
It's kind of how i hear the poems and how they form in my mind
Maybe, subconsciously, it's how the words spill
I suppose as well, that they should be spoken and so the lines fall with my intended stresses or to isolate and highlight certain words or phrases

I also think people need to work at poems. They shouldn't be easy, they should be like puzzles to unwind and unlock

I purposely don't use punctuaion though - i think they self punctuate and the reader should be able to punctuate to suit their interpretation

I still need to look those words up from your previous comments!

Comment is about The Bridge (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

This is a rumpus read, leaping from metaphor to metaphor, but full of creativity, vitality, and informed intellect. It is perhaps many distinctive poems exploring the expressions of a single theme. But the theme does bind them together.

I don't know much about the current 'comic characters' of new mythology. I'm a total novice. Is this 'Wayward' related to the Tokyo trend?

I really enjoy it.

Comment is about Wayward (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

You have such interesting, clear ideas. I only wish they weren't so hard to dig out. Why, exactly, IMO, do you 'torture' the line breaks so much? Is it modish?

Comment is about The Bridge (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

Thanks for your time Dominic.

I post a small sample of the work that I write up here and most of the time it is just for the exercise and so few are not as finely tuned as I would like a final draft to be. Nevertheless, I leave them up because I view my blog as a writing scrap book of sorts. Think this is an example of a time when my writing's purpose was to click and clack.

The stuff am writing now is very different.

Thank you for your considered comment. x

Comment is about Vodka (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Great last stanza. As with the others, Vodka has that vital mental immediacy that really touches off your poems. Some others, and this might be projection on my part, or my own tin ears, ask for editing of content, and for sound, but like, I think, the last commentator on Raven, I'd spend more time on your poems before suggesting an example. It is all very good writing.

Comment is about Vodka (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

I read this over and over again and think it's a half and half piece for my personal understanding. I think I'm getting it and then I'm lost again. You know what I think of your work. you're one of the best poets on here, but I do find it hard to stay connected. I must try harder.

Graham

Comment is about Raven (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Excellent points made here.

Comment is about Poet Tree. (blog)

Original item by R.C Morose

Good one, Anthony. And, contrary to my norm, I did pick it up at once. Sometimes I'm slow, and sometimes I leave everybody else in the dust. No telling....

Comment is about GRAFFITI - an age-old habit (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hello R.C

Welcome to Write Out Loud.

We're really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers on the site.
Thanks for already added a picture to your profile. It’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.

Graham Sherwood

Comment is about R.C Morose (poet profile)

Original item by R.C Morose

Hello Yenimls

Welcome to Write Out Loud.

We're really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers on the site.
If you haven’t already added a picture to your profile please try and do so. It’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.

Graham Sherwood

Comment is about Yenimls (poet profile)

Original item by Yenimls

Hello Hannah

Welcome to Write Out Loud.

We're really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers on the site.
If you haven’t already added a picture to your profile please try and do so. It’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.

Graham Sherwood

Comment is about Hannah Gordon (poet profile)

Original item by Hannah Gordon

I'm a great fan of graffiti M.C. - not the sort of "tag" graffiti, which only advertises the graffitist's recent presence, but the wit, humour and cleverness which endures in the mind long after reading. My favourite, from some 30-odd years ago, again at uni, was one which took me a while to fathom out - but was worth the fathoming - "Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." Priceless.

Regards,

A.E.

Comment is about GRAFFITI - an age-old habit (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

enjoyed this poem very much, thanks for sharing

Comment is about The cup (blog)

Original item by Drapetomania

Agree with Dave, Graham. Wonderfully pictorial.

Comment is about Poets Pathways (blog)

Original item by Graham Ramsden

Billboard advert -

"SMILE _ YOU'RE IN GREENALL WHITLEY LAND!

WHEN THE BOTTOM HAS FALLEN OUT OF YOUR WORLD - DRINK GREENALL WHITLEY"

added

AND THE WORLD WILL FALL OUT OF YOUR BOTTOM.

Comment is about GRAFFITI - an age-old habit (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hi Dave
It was Goldcrest on the first draft. I had to explain what bird it was to an American visitor when we both saw it in Grasmere.
Regards
Graham

Comment is about Poets Pathways (blog)

Original item by Graham Ramsden

I very much liked this one too Anthony. It reminded me of 'By My Side' in Godspell - putting a pebble in your shoe, a pebble called Dare. The same question arises - why would anyone want to put a stone in their shoe, and the question hooks the reader.

http://www.lyricsbay.com/by_my_side_lyrics-godspell_movie.html

Comment is about Stones (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

I didn't really think of it like that - the connection between truth and identity - but I think you capture my ideas perfectly in that very sentence

I was trying to point out that who we are is important - the 'who' we were before the world and experience tried to shape us into something else.

If that makes sense?

Comment is about To say what could not be said (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

you're on a roll with this one Ian. It's really good: that background smell, the tears of onion cutters - maybe give it a week to marinade, another pinch of salt?

Comment is about the vegetable man (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Love this, and the picture. For ages I had this painting as my desktop. They are fantastic paintings.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Arcimboldo_Librarian_Stokholm.jpg

Comment is about the vegetable man (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Excellent! Nicely ambiguous, with a punch.

Comment is about Tamed (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

What an unusual poem. Compelling. How truth (?) and identity are connected (maybe?) with the body and how words that sing connect with it all. Perhaps.

Comment is about To say what could not be said (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

I liked this. Gently evocative. It swarms with images. But it's the goldcrest not the goldfinch! Sorry to be picky

Comment is about Poets Pathways (blog)

Original item by Graham Ramsden

For one night only I'll be hosting this night and have a few twists up my sleeve!

It's a really friendly event- the sort you can just turn up at on your own even if you know no-one and/or have never read before. See you there!

Comment is about Jackie Hagan and Jonathan Eyre at Write Out Loud Sale tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

You never know Lynn, we might need another "Noah's Ark" one day, then you'll thank him! (I have a shed AND a garage exactly as you describe!)

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Shed (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Harry

I would have thought a man of your years would be preoccupied trying to remember where you've left things.

Instead you come up with a most amusing, excellently rhymed parable, woven slyly to include most of today's high profile adversaries. Illustrating brilliantly the absurdity of religious rivalry.

Great stuff.

Comment is about High-rise city centre Fairy Tale (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

A wonderful opportunity for poets out there!

If you love writing words, poems or song lyrics this is your opportunity. Send me your lyrics or poems and I will compose a song for you. 'Beauty of the Duty' started from a poem that I received on myspace and I edited it to become a popular BBC Radio play-listed song - so this could be your chance to hear your song on the Radio.

Please be part of my campaign to inspire others and gain this opportunity. Take a look at the rewards on the right hand side.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/886828190/free-will-one-song-can-inspire-millions-and-change

Comment is about Spring (blog)

Original item by Charlotte

I know what you mean Harry lol

Thanks for comment Jai - keep laying it down

Comment is about Eminem Ain't Amused (blog)

Original item by Tom Doolan

I wrote a right-long comment, Harry. Posted it and the bloody internet cut me off!
So this time I'll just say "Crackin".

Comment is about High-rise city centre Fairy Tale (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

M.C`S point about television signals is very profound.

In this era of scientism we have all been kidded that an account of how we arrive at some technical `wonder` or other is a sufficient explanation of its existence - when the reality of it being existentially possible in the first place
is more mysterious.

1

Comment is about BILLY CONNOLLY (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Particularly like that last line.

The `sleight` and `sleeve` fit it okay...but the
`plough` made me long for for a `cleave` in it
somewhere. :)

Comment is about CLOCK HANDS. (blog)

Ian,
effective tragic use of the Villanelle,
(perfectly matched by the picture) Regarding John`s comment can only think of something like `home-bound`.

(And think it might be sadder if the last stanza was also addressed to the now dead husband)

Could be a goer for the Wilfred Owen thing.

Comment is about Home By Christmas (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

A fine example of the job of a poet - making us see mundane things with fresh eyes.

Comment is about CLOCK HANDS. (blog)

Hello Jane

Welcome to Write Out Loud.

We're really looking forward to reading your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers here on the site.
It's good to see that you've added a picture to your profile, it’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.

Graham Sherwood

Comment is about Jane Ozkowski (poet profile)

Original item by Jane Ozkowski

a political protest poem must not be too lofty
then no one will no what the poet means

Comment is about Poetry of protest: what are the rights and wrongs? (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

what a great idea

Comment is about 'Pollution-cutting' Simon Armitage poem gets airing overlooking A57 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

There seems to be quite a debate on how this can be done.

Comment is about Google Never Forgets (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Interesting analogy, MC - the television signals.

Comment is about BILLY CONNOLLY (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

good one...(y)

Comment is about In Our Hands Everything - But Worlds (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Thank you Cynthia, i think it might need some tweeking though, so watch this space.

Comment is about CLOCK HANDS. (blog)

Instead of one it is turned into many masterly lines of supremacy.

Comment is about May College Poem (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

Love it. All sorts of images of a crowded cluttered happy home come to mind.

Comment is about On Task (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

Thank you both very much. I stopped doing something to write the poem. I think it was the dishes. My fella is the only one with domestic skills in this house Cynthia, and he is usually out taking pictures. But we do love this tip of a house and those dragged up children, oh yes, we do.

Comment is about On Task (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

To be honest, not quite. I challenge the premise that you, the writer, are inherently 'evil', revealing the 'true nature of the beast'. It sounds sort of soppy, or 'sophisticated'.

You should look up the origin of 'sophisticated' and 'sophomore'. When I first did so, I laughed for days; it was so appropriate, and I had so completely misunderstood it before. It sure cut me down to size.

BTW, I like your work.

Comment is about The poetry of people (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

This is really good, downright quotable. That first verse is an instant 'catcher' in its outstanding imagery and thought; and then the second rolls right on as a splendid ending requiring reflection. I salute you, Sir.

Comment is about CLOCK HANDS. (blog)

I like to drop bombs at the end
Although I do like the resonance of the words it is the significance of the statement that is important. It is intended to form a harsh contrast with the rest of the poem - almost as though the narrator draws the reader in, offering a softness and a calm only to end with the true nature of the beast as it were.
I think the suggestion is that if something so evil can think like and see like that, it shouldn't be so difficult for everyone else. see?

Comment is about The poetry of people (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

You can't beat a good old mythical poem!

Really like the sounds you have used - "ghastly, void, vacant" is such a lovely thing to say even though the personalities of the words are so bleak.

I have also written a poem recently called Hydra.

Good stuff!

Comment is about Hydra (blog)

Original item by David Blake

A reflection of my ambivalence, my equivocation, and/or my fear and cowardice.

Comment is about BETTER K/NOT. (blog)

Really good villanelle, Ian. The repetitions drop in perfectly with the sense of the poem.
I find the rhythm of "returned" a bit of a hiccup.

Comment is about Home By Christmas (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Hi Isobel,

Thank you for your comments on my Brevette Poems(Second Edition). I don't necessarily believe the poems I wrote. The original was a writing challenge for a Christian newsletter. But I try to keep a positive outlook. Sometimes this does not work. LOL!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel