Thanks Dave. Yes, it's a right mess!

Comment is about On Task (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

Hi Harry,

Thank you so very much for taking the time out to write a decent critique of 'In Our Hands Everything - But Worlds.'

I do agree with much of what you have said and surmised about the poem. If anything, it revolves around the feelings of insignificance and it's almost as if no-one cares any-more. Leaving the writer somewhat humbled by the end of meditations.

I think you touched on that and could gauge that from the poem.

More than this though Harry, thank you for taking the time out when I am seemingly in the midst of a snub. I am not just talking about my poems here. I do know they could be better if i edited them, and maybe more readable. No, it is more than that, I am being snubbed by perhaps Gaia herself, and it has been going on for some years. I have not altogether been the best of humans, but then, if asked who drew first blood, then it would not have been me. The Ill Treatment I refer to has been going on since my early childhood, and now I am just wanting for my death. I am a disabled veteran among other things, and know there to be more than this realm. Still though, the snub that has been issued has been going on for years. I am in effect heart broken and crippled by it, and so do a lot of meditation in trying to understand why the powers that be or gods for want of better wordage; are so total in their abuse towards me. To be beaten on, and called names is one form of abuse, but to be left in isolation and social exclusion is still, a form of abuse just as crippling.

Sorry to go on there, but maybe you can get a jist of the writer and how alone he feels.

Thank you once again Harry.

Best wishes

Mike

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Thankyou for your comment on 'I Saw Myself' J. Otis!!! I love poems that smell :) I'm loving your words xx

Comment is about J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang) (poet profile)

Original item by J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang)

Healthy pink adenoids - now there's an image to conjure with ;)

Your poems always leave one with something to think about! x

Comment is about The Single Man (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hello Graham

Welcome to Write Out Loud.
I hope you enjoy the site. We're really looking forward to reading some of your work and I know that you will be warmly welcomed by other WOL-ers too.

Thanks for already uploading a picture of yourself. It’s good to see what our fellow poets look like.

Have a good browse around, there’s lots going on and if you have the time to make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
There’s always someone who’ll help you out with a problem, so just ask and someone will get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.

Graham Sherwood

Comment is about Graham Brown (poet profile)

Original item by Graham Brown

I noted this for a closer look.

That first, (clearing the earth?) section is
an excellently clarifying introduction to
the (temporarily?) godlike viewpoint of
the poem.

The second section with its twinkling inter-
change of light and sound dancing to the
(harmonising?) `mesmerising synths` call to
mind a kind of `music of the spheres` which
is also helped by the `intonations` and `velvet
sky` to give an effect of deep harmoniousness.

In section three The word `feral` (to us) is too near the word ferocious to serve the time of primordial (all seeing?) innocence that I think the poet is speaking of.

In the fourth the poet is back in his twenty first century `detrimental` (scientific?) persona which he regards as `stubborn reality` (and which ruins the `poetical` appeal of the primordial?)

In the fifth the poet seems to be ashamed of the lapse of his `honesty` in wanting a `full on Glance at earth`.

The sixth is a kind of coming down to earth and
bricks and mortar humility about the wonder of
the stars and ordinariness of life.

In the last – despite his unholy vantage` of being the `shortest of the tall` the poet nevertheless remains a `giant`

Sorry about the analyzing but I thought that this treatment of Browning`s `man`s grasp exceeding his reach` was well worth it.

Appreciated.

Comment is about In Our Hands Everything - But Worlds (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

There's a sense of mischief which runs through this poem delightfully, Cynthia.

Comment is about The Single Man (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you for the kind comment on the Woman of Hoy, Cynthia. People grumble about things and there's much wrong with the world, but something like that is much less likely now and that's progress!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for the message Harry. Glad you escaped the drop. The ankle is getting stronger all the time. I'll risk the stairs for the Spoke next time I think. See you there?

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Dave,
Yvonne and I were down in Lynton watching all the `walkers` going by (Cripes...the boots on them!) It made me think of you.

Just to make you laugh; we accidentally strayed on to a `river of no return` narrow cliff path alongside a very steep drop. The sheer fear of the drop spoiled the beauty of the view somewhat...but we made it (who said that poets are wimps?)

Hope you`re recovering well.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

good one Lynn!about time we had a shed poem.x

Comment is about Shed (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hello Juton

Welcome to Write Out Loud.

We're really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by fellow WOL-ers on the site.
It's good to see that you've already added a picture to your profile It helps to see what our fellow poets look like.
Have a good browse around the site, there’s lots going on and if you have the time make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free. It’s the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
Any problems, please ask. There’s always someone who’ll get back to you. It’s a friendly place, so welcome once again.

Graham Sherwood

Comment is about Juton, Villain of Truth (poet profile)

Original item by Juton, Villain of Truth

Ukip is hardly about hate. Indeed, the hate
appears to come from those who appear to resent
the right of this small island nation to manage its own affairs and its own borders.
The aim of Ukip has been to return the mandate
entrusted by the electorate to its politicians
to govern this country. The references to the
extreme levels of immigration in recent
years are intended to show just how little control this once sovereign nation has of its own affairs. The average incoming total twenty years ago was 50,000 - against those leaving. Now it is five times that number - equalling
the population of a large UK city each year.
Common sense and social awareness requires that
this be addressed in the interests of us all.

Comment is about UKIP IF YOU WANT TO (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

Yes Charlie I've seen you too. And by the way you made me smell something in every poem of yours I read.
J. Otis?!

Comment is about I Saw Myself! (blog)

Original item by Charlotte

A brilliant subject and well-written, with compassion and purpose.

Comment is about The Woman of Hoy (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Powerful, with damning detail that slams the immediacy home. Also the realism of the grave 'diggers' and the boomerang effect of such an horrific experience.

Comment is about Slamming Flies (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Thanks for your comment on How Deep is the Sky. Your writng seems to know the blues as well. New York and London; that's a hard bop! I learned decades ago when I look up and see only cieling it's time to go out.
J. Otis?!

Comment is about Charlotte (poet profile)

Original item by Charlotte

This has much charm. The sentiments are sincere.

Just out of interest: Isn't it 'truth' that 'my ageing has given me youth'?

Comment is about Sweallows on Whitestone Hills (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

Good poem - but are you sure of your conclusion?

The metaphor 'thin as Bible leaf' is very good. I knew exactly what you meant,even though disagreeing that all Bibles are thin-leafed. These days most are.

Consider: 'dust mites - millions' because it echoes the four-beat line prededing it, and doesn't trip over 'of' which, IMO, is often a 'trap' word in poetry. Just a thought.

Comment is about In the Temples of the Elders (blog)

Original item by David Blake

Good one. Check 'truly' so it doesn't detract.

Comment is about Goldfinch (blog)

Original item by Neil Francis Brooks

This is brilliant.

Comment is about from How Deep is the Sky (blog)

Original item by J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang)

I wrote this for a friend, hope her and her bear get to cuddle soon, she knows who she is X

Comment is about Her & Bear (blog)

Original item by Ged Thompson

yes, I agree. Thanks Julian, you may not recall that you came to WOL at Stockport in february which was the first time I had aired any of my poetry in public and I was extremely nervous. But you were immensely encouraging. It is a good ethos to have in helping others to develop their creativity.
Thanks again

Martin

Comment is about Loud and proud: Julian Jordon on why performing is so important (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Ha ha Anthony, I hadn't even started on his garage!
Thank you for your comment, much appreciated.

Comment is about Shed (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hola! Cheers chuck - yeh, it is a bit innit, like Fire in that momentum thingydoodah :D

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Pollution popping poetry posters eh? Cracking notion. Puts me in mind of Hovis Presley: you could have cut the atmosphere with specialist atmosphere cutting equipment.

Comment is about 'Pollution-cutting' Simon Armitage poem gets airing overlooking A57 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks Ian and Dave. Wakefield Prison, eh, Ian? Not so sure they'd let me out.
It is a cracking line, Dave. I went there on a dad and daughter day last New Year's Eve.

Comment is about The Moorland Train (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Excellent! Rode the train many years ago. This brings it all back - it's a lovely line.

Comment is about The Moorland Train (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

good 'un John - why not extend the Cash influences and do one about Wakefield prison - or better still play a gig there 'John Coopey live at Wakefield Prison' has a certain ring to it - they may even make up a bed for you

Comment is about The Moorland Train (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Many thanks, GReg and MC.
When I learned the combination of notes which made that whistle i felt like "The Man Who Found the Lost Chord".

Comment is about The Moorland Train (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Ah, that lonesome whistle of the North Yorkshire Moors railway ... maybe they'll make this their theme tune!

Comment is about The Moorland Train (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Nice one Julian. I was one of the very early members of ABCTales and have performed at many of their shows and have even co produced a couple. You speak sense.

Best as ever.

Ralph

Comment is about Loud and proud: Julian Jordon on why performing is so important (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

thanks for the comments guys - good spot Cynthia - made a change to remove THAT clumsiness - posted more to your own profile page :-)

Comment is about the vegetable man (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

made the changes as you've suggested guys - thanks very much for the feedback - posted more to your own profile pages :-)

Comment is about Home By Christmas (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

this is great stuff Lauara - it's one of those I can actually hear you reciting in my head when I read it - you are an earworm :-) hah :-) it really reminds me of another one you do - but I can't remember which one - may need to have a trawl through your back catalogue to see if I can find it 'cos it's driving me nuts :-) brilliant as always mate
Ian

Comment is about Wayward (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Cynthia
nothing gets past you eh? 'the vegetable man' is an old poem of mine, that I've revisited and tweaked a bit - and - YES - good spot - despite it sitting around for years I hadn't noticed the repeat descriptive eyes - so I've made a change to make it a bit less clumsy and a little more horror/comedy (I hope) - let me know what you think - and thanks so much for continuing to support and feedback - I appreciate it :-)
Ian

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

thanks for commenting on 'the vegetable man' Dominic - it's a fairly old work that I've revisited and changed around a bit - happier with it now - although Cynthia has spotted something I hadn't - so going to make another slight change to avoid getting too tied up with eyes :-)
cheers

Ian

Comment is about Dominic James (poet profile)

Original item by Dominic James

thanks for the comments on 'the vegetable man' Laura - yes - love the paintings - they are clever, colourful and yet, quite sinister - hope the poem works in the same way - it's a pretty old one that I revisited

UPDATE: got it - 'writing in fire' just the way the lines are structured and that rolling momentum thingy - well I think so anyway :-)

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

thanks once again, Harry, for the kind comments and suggestions regarding 'home by christmas'. I've taken your advice and changed 'returned' for 'sent back' (didn't use 'home bound' as you suggested due to the repeat of the word 'home' which may have seemed clumsy)I'm writing a lot of war poems at the moment - all in a different poetic form - and I'm recording them with musical backings for a music/poetry CD which I'm hoping to release before November 11th. Going to include 'dulce et decorum est' and 'anthem for doomed youth' as well as a cover of a motorhead song! - alongside snippets from the declaration of war / newspaper reports and popular songs of the time. got permission from the Wilfred Owen society to use the 2 WO poems and will definitely be sending some of the stuff I've done in for that competition. thanks once again for your supportive and enlightening feedback
Ian

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

thanks for commenting on 'home by christmas' John - I think you're right about the hiccup and Harry has also commented on it - so made a slight change and appears to work much better = thanks for the feedback - invaluable as always

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

J.C. - as a die-hard J.C. fan (the OTHER J.C. this
time), I love this tribute to his famous hit song,
with its clever combination of the two railway
themes.
"Keep those songs a-comin'
They're always damn good fun
And like those wheels a-hummin'
We'll turn for every one..."

Comment is about The Moorland Train (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

J.C. - Thanks. A great example of "entertaining".
Here's a riposte from West London:
"I drink therefore I am.
I'm drunk therefore I was."
A.E. Probably my own favourite is the sign -
"Harwich for the Continent" - to which someone
added -
"Frinton for the incontinent."
The wit and often downright cleverness, ensures
this age-old tradition survives. I'll sign off
with one for the class warriors found on WOL:
"The upper crust are just a lot of crumbs sticking together."

Comment is about GRAFFITI - an age-old habit (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Cynthia, belated thanks for your comments on my little first world war poem. The notes from the munitions girls was something that I hadn't come across before.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sensitive, honest and true.

Comment is about Poem: Losing Myself (blog)

Original item by Joseph J. Breunig 3rd

Good one, Ian, enough to scare kids.

Has he got two different eyes?

Comment is about the vegetable man (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Love it. Just shoots out of nowhere but is totally capturing, with the humorous twist of the fatalistic mundane. Very clever, but still honest. Even 'here is you and here is I' is so grammatically funny it makes a great ending.

Ideas worth sharing and the skill to do it.

A Canadian! Brilliant!

Comment is about After Everyone is Dead (blog)

Original item by Jane Ozkowski

Thank you Cynth for your considered comment on Wayward :)

There's a story behind it. A friend of mine takes amazing photographs, that scream ideas and possibilities at me, and so I decided to write about one of them with a view to writing about more of them.

Anyway, if you check my previous poem, Framed, that's the photo I was trying to write about. For nearly two solid weeks I wrote, and what I found was that I had TOO MANY ideas which I simply could not contain. I ended up with two epic rambling pieces of, well, crap. I really didn't like them. So I forced myself to condense using haiku. I'm still not very happy about the result and intend to come back to it at some point and do it real justice.

Anyhoo, I was complaining about it all to a mate, and then this poem popped out! Wrote itself! As I said to me mate, I think my muse is some kind of rabid donkey, who can never ever be controlled :D

PS - no, nowt to do with comics or Tokyo :)

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you Cynth :)

There's a story behind it. A friend of mine takes amazing photographs, that scream ideas and possibilities at me, and so I decided to write about one of them with a view to writing about more of them.

Anyway, if you check my previous poem, Framed, that's the photo I was trying to write about. For nearly two solid weeks I wrote, and what I found was that I had TOO MANY ideas which I simply could not contain. I ended up with two epic rambling pieces of, well, crap. I really didn't like them. So I forced myself to condense using haiku. I'm still not very happy about the result and intend to come back to it at some point and do it real justice.

Anyhoo, I was complaining about it all to a mate, and then this poem popped out! Wrote itself! As I said to me mate, I think my muse is some kind of rabid donkey, who can never ever be controlled :D

PS - no, nowt to do with comics or Tokyo :)

Comment is about Wayward (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

I will look at that

I actually wrote it about a friend who had a small pebble in his shoe and carried it with him for a whole week

I'm still not sure why he didn't empty it but it did lead to the poem!

Comment is about Stones (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

Thank you

Comment is about Tamed (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist