So captivated. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this.
Thoroughly enjoyable.
Comment is about Back To Basic Bacteria (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
To Cynthia.
Yes. To give it a "roll on" feel. Rather than a poetic rhythm or dancing with the words.
Just a certain point in a story told bluntly. So the reader can build the foundations of the setting themselves.
Comment is about Within My Rights (blog)
Original item by Lint Gannon
Not my cup of tea, I'm afraid, Ian. (Whisky, that is; not the poem. The poem is excellent).
The subtle discipline enhances the imagery (which I can taste).
Comment is about A Wee Dram (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Thank you, Alexandra and Cynthia for your positive comments. I will try, Cynthia, to trim the sails.
Comment is about Shipwreck (blog)
Original item by Judi Strega
OK - ya got me - wonderfully anarchic and reads like a beaut - pity the poor guitars of Wigan when missy gets a strop on ;-)
Comment is about Nativity ‘73 (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
great tight rhyming structure - very clever Dave. Read well, as well, at The Old Courts. A 'Breaking Bad' virgin myself, so not sure I'm getting all the references, but works well as a humorous piece even if you don't know the intricacies of the plot. :-)
Comment is about Breaking Bad for Christmas (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
love it MC - a very timely reminder on the true nature of Christmas - god bless those we have lost and may the memories at Christmas be poignant but happy - have a very merry Christmas - Ian
Comment is about THOUGHTS AT CHRISTMAS - a re-post (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
I agree with both of your suggestions, thank you! I should read my poems aloud more often.
Comment is about Sweeter Than Any Wine (blog)
Original item by Pity-Poetry
A lovely listen Ann - very atmospheric. The only thing I'd question is the title, "Song for a dead gannet" or "Dead gannet song" - a little too near Monty Python to be taken seriously methinks! :)
Regards,
A.E. x
Comment is about Song for a dead gannet (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
How late to the party I was with this one. Shame I didn't read it sooner. Still, I enjoyed the imagery. What a vivid and disturbing picture you painted. I saw it so clearly in my head that I almost shouted, "Save the children!" aloud.
Comment is about PORTREATH (blog)
Original item by Daniel Dwyran
I enjoyed this. Much like a tree, it is represented simply but is much more complex in nature.
Comment is about Tree of Life (blog)
Cynthia, thanks for your very generous comments on Calendars. And a happy Christmas to you!
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Mon 15th Dec 2014 22:58
Hi Harry.
A profuse apology for not responding to your wise comment regarding the Eleven Eleven poem I blogged in the summer.
Browsing through my profile I realise what an ignorant bugger I must be.
Merry Christmas Ken.
Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Mon 15th Dec 2014 22:26
Hi Daniel.
Profuse apologies for not answering your kind appreciated comment on that diatribe of a war poem.
I sort of let it run away with me.
A very Merry Christmas to you. Ken
Comment is about Daniel Dwyran (poet profile)
Original item by Daniel Dwyran
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Mon 15th Dec 2014 22:13
Hi MC
Belated thanks for your kind comment (Humbug)
And a merry Christmas. Ken.
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
I LOVE your work. From the first four lines this Christmas Nativity just rocks! Full of the angst of competitive theatre and the underlying bathos of limited interest.
I'm presuming the 'cuckold bit' was not of interest at five years old? Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps the idea was clearly perceived without the vocabulary.
Comment is about Nativity ‘73 (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
A really good poem, Greg. It has a targetted audience, yes, but a highly appreciative one. It reads so accurately, and effortlessly, and reeks relate-ability. The last line is super. I had a moment deciphering 'am dram' and then I got it (feeling really stupid!)
Comment is about Calendars (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
And a very intense, interesting dream it was. I'm glad you have shared it. I think our symbols and metaphors in dreams are very personal, and occur to assist us in living.
Comment is about Darkness and Light (blog)
Original item by Shirley Smothers
Natalie has expressed this beautifully for me as well. I like the juxtaposition of two types of 'immense' - the damning cause of inattention at the wheel and the possibly avoidable loss of life.
Comment is about Road Kill (blog)
Original item by Twilbury Wist
Splendid! Great idea, good images, excellent ending.
I make bold to offer two suggestions, with respect:
'the man in the pinstripe twisted' ('suit' is understood and the rhythm/internal rhyme is wicked)
and
'after the dusk had mellowed to black' - just say it aloud and hear the melody of that line without 'hues'; it travels .... so to speak.
Comment is about Sweeter Than Any Wine (blog)
Original item by Pity-Poetry
Welcome. Always great to get some humour, half-hearted or not.
Comment is about Corr Lens (poet profile)
Original item by Corr Lens
So - why not use line breaks to lead the understanding of the reader? Your thoughts are quite complex, and darkly heavy-footed. Give us some help. Sure, it will be long, but the piece is long anyway, so no one is being fooled by the physical space prose being used here. I would love to see this in a 'poem form', to see what you would do.
Comment is about Show me to my Sweet, Sick, Dark Cave (blog)
Original item by Corr Lens
There is much to admire in this, not least the subject itself. IMO, it has so much to say, boldly and honestly, that a little extra attention to tighten it up would produce an even stronger, more effective work.
Comment is about A poem youll never hear (blog)
Original item by HannahMary
Judi, this is very good, and brave, and obviously personal. Now I would look at it as a piece of 'art work', and bring all your skills of writing to bear on 'trimming its sails', keeping the POW factor with the very best images, lines, phrases etc. You offer a strong connection to your readers, and that is a gift.
Always with respect.
Comment is about Shipwreck (blog)
Original item by Judi Strega
cheers Dave - also liked your Old Courts offering - although never seen a single second of 'Breaking Bad' so may have missed some of the undoubted humour - rattled along nicely though - and it would have been a crime not to do 'drinking to excess' ;-)
Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Carr
I admire this very much.Is there a reason that you have not tried to use 'poetic breaks'?
Comment is about Within My Rights (blog)
Original item by Lint Gannon
Masks have a hard time getting past the eyes, or the knuckles: they speak clearly. I'm trying to find an old Christmas one of my own. I know it's tucked away somewhere. Pity I can't quote it from memory; I'm just plain terrible like that.
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Really good to see you posting again Ann. Will give this a listen but it reads well too.
regards,
Graham
Comment is about Song for a dead gannet (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
https://soundcloud.com/ann-foxglove/dead-gannet-song
Comment is about Song for a dead gannet (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Ah, good to hear from you again Nigel, hope you are well! New poetry collection in progress and new man as subject matter ; ))
Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)
Original item by Nigel Astell
A scornful smile
I can see
Returns to this
Lust seeking slave.
Comment is about Tryst (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan
<Deleted User> (6895)
Mon 15th Dec 2014 14:05
Thanks you two :) Glad you enjoyed it :)
Comment is about Nativity ‘73 (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Hello Larisa.
I didn't mean to scare you.
Take care and have a nice Christmas.
Comment is about IN THE GROTTO (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
I agree with Andy, John, this is certainly a clever piece.
See you in the new year
Comment is about On the Cards (blog)
Original item by J F Keane
I always enjoy reading your poems, John,enjoy listening to your singing, but ... this one really scared me.)))Anyway, I love it.
Comment is about IN THE GROTTO (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Sun 14th Dec 2014 18:00
I think the rhythmic repetition makes this like a religious chant and I ,for one,am a believer.
Comment is about Sides of Deception (blog)
Original item by UInk
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sat 13th Dec 2014 20:31
lots and lots,
of the wow factor to this poem,Noris.
x
Comment is about It's only that... (blog)
Original item by Noris Roberts
absolutely beautiful..
xoxo .L.m.P.
Comment is about "I want to eat your cancer" - Nirvana (blog)
Original item by Alexandra K. Parapadakis
Wow, I really like this. Flows so well! Some really great phrases in here too e.g.
'your arms were a safe harbour',
'you lied to me you lied about me
but you never lied for me
would never die for me',
'better to die on your feet
than to live on your knees '
Comment is about Shipwreck (blog)
Original item by Judi Strega
I have 'performed' this three times now, the last occasion being at my Writing Group's meeting. Each time it gets a little easier to say the words without losing the all-important emotion. This is the bravest poem I've written - far harder, for me, than painting a self-portrait, so here it is, warts and all!
Comment is about Shipwreck (blog)
Original item by Judi Strega
Enjoyed this at the Mock Tudor.
Comment is about Anti-Christ(mas) (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Reading your comment
made me think
a quick check
yes it's true
underneath broken zip
I'm wearing my
famous extra tight
red and blue!
Comment is about dazzer (poet profile)
Original item by dazzer
Prostate cancer is probably one of the more
treatable diseases that cause premature death
in men.
Certain dietary inputs can contribute to keeping
that gland healthy: pomegranate plus broccoli...
green tea and turmeric, most of which are easily
taken via supplements like "Pomi-T" - and, with a bit of careful self-awareness of bodily function and some sensible GP checks - they
can help stop the Big C lodging in that
particular part of the male anatomy.
No man over 50 should have to die of the
ailment that took Davy Mac but all men
over that age owe it to themselves to
look after Number One.
Comment is about Friends of slam poet Davy Mac appeal for help to pay for his funeral (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I read these the lines while imagining the stoic
"Tommy" that Kipling would have recognised...no
self-pity but a cheerful matter of fact sort of
man far removed from today's age, who wouldn't
dream of upsetting anyone with tales of woe.
Say it out loud with an upbeat tone and it takes
on a different slant from that found by A.N.
Comment is about A card from home (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder
I highly recommend this site, so far it's one of the best I have found.
Comment is about Corr Lens (poet profile)
Original item by Corr Lens
Ian Whiteley
Tue 16th Dec 2014 22:37
thanks for the kind comments on 'a wee dram' John - I am, literally, a recent convert - went to Edinburgh - have drunk Jack Daniels as a guilty pleasure for years - very infrequently - tried the Scottish , expensive stuff - delicious - gone and bought a bottle for Christmas and started it already - I appreciate the comments and will raise a glass and toast you for it - possibly more than once - Ian
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey