Nativity ‘73
He’d three lines and a gleaming neck,
stank of Imperial Leather.
I was gagged and tidemarked,
the Mother of the Messiah.
Under strict instruction
I smiled beatifically
with muted mouth, and purple feet,
in Bethlehem, in Primary.
Virgin Mary, Mother of God.
Silenced, made to breed.
But Joseph (famous cuckold)
was worth three lines of speech.
King Herod had a massive part
and Gabriel spoke twice.
The shepherds sang in unison
of washing socks by night.
The innkeeper had dialogue
beyond a mere “we’re full”.
The narrator did the voices
of all the animals.
But Virgin Mary, Mother of God,
was silenced, made to breed,
and Joseph (famous cuckold)
was worth three lines of speech.
The three wise men monopolised
the middle of the play,
droning on about their gifts
and rustling the hay.
The angels got more words than me
and they were thick as owt!
Bless`d Mother of the Messiah
broke her silence with a shout:
The absolute injustice!
What a shit nativity!
I’m the saintly Virgin Mary
not some wanker off the street!
How come them lot all get lines?
Do you know who I am?
I’m the mum of fucking Jesus!
This nativity’s a sham!
I kicked the manger over,
set fire to the straw.
Punched Joseph in his soapy face,
threw Jesus to the floor.
I tore the wings off angels,
got arrested by the Plod.
I’m five years old,
I know my rights!
I’m the mum of fucking God!
Gerroff!
* This poem was based on true events. Which ones would be telling ;)
Laura Taylor
Wed 17th Dec 2014 10:31
Ah thank you both :)
Probably not THAT articulate, Cynth, but I was a little smart arse, so you never know ;)
To expand on Ian's point, when I performed this at the open mic in Wigan, I stamped my foot at the end (unknowingly) and managed to set off a domino effect with several guitars that were resting against a wall behind me, a mic from the stand, and apparently the lighting rig nearly went too. I just became slowly and painfully aware of a terrible cacophony to my left, and watched it unfold, guitars crashing to the floor etc. Erm, mortified is the word!
Last time I blaspheme in public let me tell you! When I last blasphemed during a set, there was an almighty lightning strike and a massive crack of thunder! Ooo errr!!!