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(This poem is dedicated to the select members of the S.A.S. .... Surfers Against Sewage)!


I’m just swimming in Portreath

Just going through the 'motions'

A large environmental car thief

Made of a thousand witches potions


I’ve streaming eyes and raspy throat

A throbbing head and aching ear

The only safe place is a boat

I’d never write “Wish you were here!”


The surf is up and roaring in

Seagulls squawking in the sky

Up to my waist and in the sea

I watch the Richards* floating by


This place reminds me of a chemist

With lots of poisons on a shelf

It won’t afford you no protection

But rather damage your good health


I watch a condom ride a wave

Then catch a tampon as it breaks

They both go rushing to the shore

Where children play in rock-pool lakes


I know that I will never see

The sea ’round here a slight shade bluer

But it’s the first time here for me

That I have swam in an open sewer



*=Richard the Third (Turd) – Cockney Rhyming Slang


(c) Daniel Dwyran

beachprotecting the environment. sewagesurfswim




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Ged the Poet

Wed 17th Dec 2014 15:27

Thank you all very much for your very kind and welcome comments on Portreath. They were very much appreciated.. althought the work itself was a little 'tongue in cheek' and the contents very much a little of wind against tide!
(Sorry for the long delay in responding to your kind comments and thank you for the feedback).

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James Roper

Tue 16th Dec 2014 06:39

How late to the party I was with this one. Shame I didn't read it sooner. Still, I enjoyed the imagery. What a vivid and disturbing picture you painted. I saw it so clearly in my head that I almost shouted, "Save the children!" aloud.

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jack purvis

Sun 30th Nov 2014 14:18

Great message. Pity.........

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Martin Elder

Wed 12th Nov 2014 23:35

I love it Daniel ....Just going through the 'motions'

A large environmental car thief

Made of a thousand witches potions...

A real cracker, still got me chuckling as I write this. Good stuff

<Deleted User> (6895)

Tue 11th Nov 2014 23:07

Richards? do you mean floating voters?hope you have brought a note of excuse for being absent?

Good laugh Daniel-aythankyor!xx

P.S. We refer you to our 2010 poem-

'No more on the roll'

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