the man on the motor outside my window- black as day curtain-covered- is my father I wonder politely what the grass did to him: nothing he could have done to me nothing he could have done nothing different nothing like that night when I was five and didn't want to be tickled in a dark room like the one I inhabit now as I copy down my own words I threatened to shoot my own father not the one up there no I don't trust his pointing finger this father more realistic harsh and unfeeling- ever wonder where I got the idea from?- he left and came back with his rifle loaded it pointed it at me thrill of a second shot spit and anger I hid under my bed-side table with the little drawer where I kept all the secrets I wished I had to keep my plastic ponies company I was used to hysteria by the time I could talk and realized sometimes people wouldn't talk back so I talked back for them but in this moment the hysteria didn't speak I cried like a selfish bitch reassured of what I was then my father handed me the gun "I am your father and you are going to shoot me- fucking shoot right at my heart." and he took his pointer finger and circled the target coordinate a good poet would recollect the feel of the gun on my knees and the weight and the measurements perhaps the caliber but I was five and this was real unlike most of my new-found realities one last point towards the cause and the ending- drilling back through the salty shit moister on my chin in my cheeks flooding irises all I knew was the afternoon we spent lying on his bedroom floor me on his chest pretending not to be pressed there for his heartbeat "no, it's O.K. you can listen. put your head back." crouched under the table now head hanging down eyes tight "put your head back goddammit." thankfully he got tired of standing, took the gun and took his leave
DOUBLE DOSE The thing about sanity Is Absolutely nothing; It does not exist Sighing I repeat his opening line Before the show I’m insanely in love With you Deep satin wailing Inside my vessels Sailing in a line Of all real numbers Sleeping in a dark Purple chair The metal sits To pass time Wait on the bed Dressed in skin He’ll remember you Soon enough Holes caressing Needles Doctors give me life You thought I was Shooting up I blew my face Out of my mind Oh there it goes Only I saw Balloons across the sky Spilling acid rain On my one-man parade Hold still Their words seem to Stay
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
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Marriage and Her Lover (11/12/2014)
Null and Void (11/12/2014)
About Falling In Love Without You (04/12/2014)
A Mozart Afternoon (28/11/2014)
Naivety On A Walk (25/11/2014)
Not Home No More (25/11/2014)
Aces Always Guilt-black (25/11/2014)
- 2014 (8)
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