Very atmospheric, Paul. I too initially thought it was a hotel which had seen better days. They all seem like that in Weston super Mare. Well captured.
Comment is about Portland Court (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Thanks, guys.
"Ode to a Quim", eh, Stu? I like that suggestion. It's been on the tip of my tongue for some time.
I'm really chuffed with your comment about "smouldering attraction", Paul. I was trying to create a piece for a strong woman, albeit it's written from the man's settee with an electrical undercurrent of awkward sexuality.
Thanks again, fellas.
Comment is about "IT'S BROUGHT US HERE" (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Excellent writing mate, really told a story- I hope you have another one for us soon!
Comment is about Serial Killer Butchers (blog)
Original item by Jeff
John, well-crafted and enjoyable to read, it unfurls so well you can almost smell the smouldering attraction! Some great lines, e.g. "lit a pathway between them", "after a lifetime of seconds" and, as Stu pointed out, the last line is so good, in fact, memorable. Thanks for this. Paul
Comment is about "IT'S BROUGHT US HERE" (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
<Deleted User> (13762)
Thu 5th Jan 2017 08:29
I got that this was a residential block straight away but maybe because it reminded me of a similar place near Worthing in Sussex, Onslow Court. It's worth Googling it to see it's art deco architecture. It sits overlooking the main coast road and the shingle lined English Channel opposite. When I was a lad I picked up extra cash in hand working for my uncle on his removal vans. It helped supplement my dole money! We moved many people in and out of this type of property although I don't recall doing any in Onslow Court. And later I became a delivery driver for a wine merchant / off licence in Brighton and Hove. Similar blocks, similar people, but the change was even then taking place as the older more gentrified occupants were gradually replaced with a younger set. The mark of a good poem is whether it sparks memories in the reader. Thanks for posting Paul.
Comment is about Portland Court (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Travis Brow
Thu 5th Jan 2017 07:10
Hello Josie,
I've not read anything here on WOL that matches the starkness of your work. I hesitate to say I like it because plainly what you describe, i'm guessing, is acute frustration born of mental pain, and there's little to like in such a situation. That said, you compose your pieces beautifully, and you can certainly write. I hope you get your $900.
Travis.
Comment is about Josie Harris (poet profile)
Original item by Josie Harris
Thank you for your comment on SHARE M.C. It's nice to know you have taken the trouble to read and comment.
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
I've been sitting here contemplating my next travel adventure - a destination as yet undecided - and thought i'd throw down some memories from my last trip. It's got a bit from all times of the travel - 6 months in all; the highs, lows, people you meet, things you see. I'm sure that anyone who has ever been backpacking can relate to at least some of these experiences. I have a lot of travel memories, perhaps ill build on this in the future.
Oh, and T.W stands for Travel Wanker - these are the guys who has travelled better, further, harder, and more authentically than you can ever even imagine attempting to try. They love a good story top, and usually come equipped with a locally made head scarf, Buddhist tattoo and an ankle bracelet made from coconut husks and sea shells.
Comment is about Travel Notes (blog)
Original item by Stuart Bright
Wow...did you put the mild adult content warning on this one lol Yikes!
Comment is about The Day They Took Me Foreskin (blog)
Original item by Jeff
christ alive john thats rather beautiful! a lovely twist, wonderful moments throughout and the pay-off line is stirring. i fully expect an ode to the quim next and shant be disappointed.
Comment is about "IT'S BROUGHT US HERE" (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
thanks ray! good to be back. awful insomnia and a busy festive season put pay to decembers scribblings alas but i fear there may be more poetry now its the new year. the title is scientific balderdash, a rather cold but strangely romantic form of distillation, used to express how, in this infinite universe, the slightest moments can be boiled down and made precious. ahh pretentiousness, i have missed you so!
Comment is about breaking an azeotrope with unidirectional pressure manipulation (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
That's just how it panned out this year, MC.
Comment is about Alice Oswald wins £5,000 Costa poetry prize (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
LOL glad you liked it. We never get old right!
Comment is about SEXY BOY (blog)
Original item by lynn hahn
They're difficult to catch, cos they run in circles. They evolved longer legs on one side of the body from running round Scottish mountains. ?
Comment is about Wild Haggis (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Lovely to get one from you Stu. I'll try and dignify this as best I can. The title reveals my ignorance, but it fascinates me. There is a grasp of reality being skewed into the realm of Stu which I know is real to you and to be deeply respected. The setting for a real human show of love and affection is touching when set against the incalculable , and your prescription lines are wonderfully cynical . Ethereal scrimshaw is great.
I hope that works !!
regards Ray
Comment is about breaking an azeotrope with unidirectional pressure manipulation (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Ah ha. Or ha ha. Please delete whichever is inappropriate. I love the tItle.
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
It is a piece which covers a wide range of environmental issues, Hazel. But centres primarily on a phase men go through for the whole of their lives!
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Female responding - but I've no idea what you're talking about. Is it something to do with your dangley bits?
Comment is about LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thankyou, Hazel. I'm going off my memory these days!
Comment is about "IT'S BROUGHT US HERE" (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
And what better place could it bring us to? Just lovely.
Comment is about "IT'S BROUGHT US HERE" (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Andromeda
Wed 4th Jan 2017 20:07
I fucking love this sample. So well put. Definitely looking forward to more.
Comment is about Pheonix None (poet profile)
Original item by Pheonix None
Andromeda
Wed 4th Jan 2017 19:55
Fuck, I love this.. I write quite a bit of erotica myself, I like your taste (;
Comment is about 5 AM Thoughts (blog)
Original item by Pheonix None
Thanks Paul for the nice compliment; this is a favourite subject for me , but the knack is to try and relive it while describing it all that time ago. I was commuting to Waterloo every day then and no trains got cancelled as I recall !
Cheers Cynthia. Glad you got this and I appreciate your interest in what is traditional male fare! A play on Shakespeare with the title thanks.
A nice tribute Mark to the time thanks for that. Imagine if this weather had coincided with the Beeching closures so shortly after.
Glad to see you back Stu. As you say some new blood coming in - i'm sure i'll be carried off screaming one of these days. Atmospherical sounds vaguely celestial! Hope to see some new stuff from you...
Thank you one and all!!
Ray
Comment is about AND THEN WAS THE WINTER (blog)
Original item by ray pool
wonderful stuff cynthia as usual. i have to agree with graham in that it loses something in the middle but that could just be a personal thing. i found myself relieved to be back amongst you and your friend towards the end, this may have been your intention i do not know. anyway, to me that doesnt detract from what is a lovely, colourful character study and a charming story to boot.
as always, anything i say is humble and respectfully proffered, like a ferrero rocher to a bejeweled indian queen
Comment is about The Spanish Girl (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
brilliant this ray. great wordery (thatll be in the dictionary next year) and as has been mentioned, wonderfully evocative and atmospherical (that too). great to be back reading such crackers after a short break. i see a lot of new faces but its reassuring that the old ones are still pumping out quality writing.
Comment is about AND THEN WAS THE WINTER (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Thanks Ray, much appreciated. Isn't it funny, only after reading your comment did I realise that Portland Court could be interpreted as being a hotel! It is, in fact, a residential block where I lived for 14 years and I felt very much part of the community you picked up on. Thanks again, Paul
Comment is about Portland Court (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 4th Jan 2017 17:45
cleaver arse.....well spotted.....& it's a typo I might leave? Jeff......
Comment is about Serial Killer Butchers (blog)
Original item by Jeff
It interests me that the Costa list referred to should be "all
female". How so?
Comment is about Alice Oswald wins £5,000 Costa poetry prize (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Tight and right Lynn. My compass bearing is a little slack these days but I can see the attraction - still!!
Nice one.
Ray x
Comment is about SEXY BOY (blog)
Original item by lynn hahn
Cheers.....it was impossible to put into words how scary these two guys were. I've been travelling to some odd places all my life, & met some right wierdos form all over the world, but these two scared the shit out of me.....Jeff....
Comment is about Serial Killer Butchers (blog)
Original item by Jeff
Wed 4th Jan 2017 17:35
Tear soaked eyes!
Torn up tissues!
Stretched out sleeves!
Clinched fists!
Sleepless nights!
Precious time wasted!
For who someone who broke your heart!
Waste no more tears or time for a heartless bastard!
BEHIND BLUE EYES
Comment is about He left (blog)
Original item by Connie Walter
Cynthia, the first verse of this piece is cleanly descriptive and introduces us well.
However, you do not let us share the joke? In the second verse which is a shame.
V5,6 and 7 I think whilst necessary to the story are too wordy and could detract from the tension of the poem. Could you consider shortening them to keep things tight.
V8 and 9 return us to this lovely teacher/pupil relationship, pure joy and your final aspirations for her a great hook!
Comment is about The Spanish Girl (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
I'm glad I read this right through Paul, as it is captures a great sense of community and variety within confines; it is almost as if the hotel has a personality of its own. I have had a lot of experience of the temporary nature of staying in them and moving on as a musician. One in Eastbourne called the Grand seems to fit your perception ; faded glory when I knew it in the 80s, never cheap though! Lots of places like this had cabaret acts (why I was there).
Well thought out and expressed with multi layers !
Ray
Comment is about Portland Court (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
A pretty good summation of what life can be about...with echoes of how youth can be wasted on the young. But
age has its own rewards, needing only to be savoured
and appreciated.
Comment is about SHARE (blog)
Original item by Pete Slater
This has lots of layers that can be analysed separately Jeff, so it demands a lot of thinking about. eg. you wouldn't call pro butchers psychopathic, but someone who fantasizes about it and just satisfies a blood lust is a different beast. Your implication is these guys actually earn a living ! Strange stories do come out of pubs I know. Your family in the mix is a great contrast to all that and gives it a lot of depth and an antedote I feel.
Anyway a fine piece of poetry about life expressed powerfully.
Ray
Comment is about Serial Killer Butchers (blog)
Original item by Jeff
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 4th Jan 2017 17:20
"cleaver arse"? intended pun? beautiful/hilarious/scary poem sir! zipping me gimp suit gob-hole up again
later dude.
Rose ??
Comment is about Serial Killer Butchers (blog)
Original item by Jeff
A picture of a harsh winter readily recalled. I was firmly into my teens.
The steam train fits perfectly in this scenario, a rare
triumph preceding latter-day excuses of "leaves on the line"
and suchlike. My parents lived on the Wilts/Berks border -
in "the sticks" as it was known - and our local road was
blocked by snow, preventing the twice weekly bus service
from operating for days on end.
To borrow from Alan Jay Lerner:
Ah yes, I remember it well.
Comment is about AND THEN WAS THE WINTER (blog)
Original item by ray pool
This is a nice line.......Miracles arrive when you stop pushing...... Jeff
Comment is about The Miracle of You (blog)
Original item by Chakraj
I like this Trevor, and I like it more each time I read it! Paul
Comment is about Buds (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Thankyou for the comments Hazel, they're very much appreciated!
Thanks again
Comment is about Hazel ettridge (poet profile)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
Hi Paul, firstly thankyou for your kind comments on 'the little voice', ive never had the nerve to let others read my writing and positive feedback is very rewarding! I have read some of your work and particularly enjoyed 'nostalgia' I like being able to see different perspectives from seemingly innoccuos objects. I think you might enjoy my poem 'ink' as I feel there are some similarities.
All the best
Comment is about Paul Waring (poet profile)
Original item by Paul Waring
Thanks for your feedback on 'the voice', its very much appreciated! By the looks of your sample work you are very talented, I think I'll be perusing your past works in the near future!
Thanks again
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sharply thought, expertly defined.Much enjoyed.
Comment is about Forsaking Auld Lang Syne (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Hi Paul and Cynthia, I'm glad you liked it, I felt it was a feeling we could all relate to and enjoyed writing this one! Thanks for your comments, they're appreciated.?
Comment is about The Little Voice (blog)
Original item by Stuart Bright
Very atmospheric, evoking trains and harsh winters worldwide in the steam age. Much enjoyed.
Excellent title.
Comment is about AND THEN WAS THE WINTER (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Paul Waring
Thu 5th Jan 2017 10:43
Thanks Colin, I have just Googled Onslow Court and looked at the pictures of it, it looks a really interesting place, I'd love to live there! Portland Court is in New Brighton on the other side of the River Mersey at the point where it meets the Irish Sea, and has views across to Liverpool. Thanks for your comment, it's great to hear this sort of stuff, what a community we are part of on here! Paul
Comment is about Portland Court (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring