LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND

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Generally speaking, I’m all in favour of sustainable energy.  “Leave it in the ground”, I say; or rather, “Leave most of it in the ground”.

See, I have a particular use for petroleum jelly for which I haven’t found a suitable alternative.

I think the stuff is pumped from wells near Newcastle in its unrefined state before being processed for commercial sale.  A tub costs 67p from Bargain Madness and, at the rate I slap it on, costs about 2p an application.

Alternatives like marge and pork dripping do work but chafe a little, not to say leave an unattractive aroma on the air as you walk the aisles of Tesco.

I am open to suggestions from you wankers on WOL but in the event of none being forthcoming, my support for sustainable energy remains rather qualified.

◄ SANTA KRAMPUS

"IT'S BROUGHT US HERE" ►

Comments

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Hazel ettridge

Wed 4th Jan 2017 20:57

Ah ha. Or ha ha. Please delete whichever is inappropriate. I love the tItle.

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John Coopey

Wed 4th Jan 2017 20:45

It is a piece which covers a wide range of environmental issues, Hazel. But centres primarily on a phase men go through for the whole of their lives!

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Hazel ettridge

Wed 4th Jan 2017 20:31

Female responding - but I've no idea what you're talking about. Is it something to do with your dangley bits?

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John Coopey

Mon 2nd Jan 2017 18:02

Many thanks, fellas, for the benefit of your collective experience. I don't know why I should be so disappointed that this had attracted an all-male response.
Your advice on wiping it on an Arsenal shirt made me snot, Graham

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 2nd Jan 2017 17:41

I used to wonder why Brylcreem was so popular back in the day before modern dressings became fashionable.

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ken eaton-dykes

Mon 2nd Jan 2017 17:04

Don't despair JC
Give up the palliative grease and take up losing weight for what is probably two bits of you rubbing together that according to the original design should be slightly apart.

Happy New Year

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raypool

Mon 2nd Jan 2017 16:19

One of my favourite tracks John has always been Gasoline alley bred, or is it Vaseline - Just joking, or am I?

Ray
Happy new year.

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 2nd Jan 2017 10:55

JC, I've heard wiping your private bits on an Arsenal shirt works equally as well and gives the added inner glow that pj doesn't.

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Jeff

Mon 2nd Jan 2017 09:39

I hear the organic alternative to petroleum lubes are blood, and/or tears....but I'm old fashioned like that...& twisted.....Jeff....

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