panic attack (Remove filter)
am i hungry or has the pit returned.
that stupid fucking pit.
its an eternal loop, circling in and out of itself.
floating dead centre in my gut.
particles of another girl explode and expand out of it,
overcome by this strange girl from the strange world.
i weep on my mothers lap,
i retch over porcelin, patterned.
seeing my sister for the first time in weeks,
Monday 19th September 2022 9:32 pm
A simple note to explain doesn't seem long enough
To bring on one sheet my final feelings and thoughts
Why am I doing this and what lead me here?
It wasn't just one event and the timing wasn't near.
I'd start when I was younger but who can remember that far back?
Unfortunately I do with every panic and anxiety attack.
You'd probably start to see why by the time I finished 10th grade
Sunday 8th November 2020 5:53 am
Yesterday I fell in love with a face.
Only for five minutes or so:
Wholly inappropriate, I know -
an excess of emotion displaced
while I tried my best to make you safe
as I had been taught to do.
I found you lying on the floor,
an empty bottle as a clue:
You did pretend-coma so well,
as you had being chest-stabbed just before.
But as I practised faux first aid -
lifted your young chin...
Friday 1st November 2019 3:07 pm
My hands is where it starts
The heat of the fire
My fingers betrayed me
Now with a mind
Of their own
They torment me
Driving me insane
My heart starts to race
A speed my body isn’t
My blood runs everywhere
With a temperature
Way too high
They torture me
Crippling my movements
Friday 4th May 2018 12:50 am