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Candy Cane Lane

Down On Candy Cane Lane
Several Elves Burst Into Flame
Rudolph Was Sad
But, Santa Was Mad
Knowing Spiked Eggnog Was To Blame.

Santa Put The Drink On A Shelf
Too High Up For Any Elf.
But, The Elves Formed A Plan
And Hired A Man
Who Took And Drank It Himself.

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ChristmasSantaLimerickfunny poem

🎄Christmas in motion 🎅

🎄Christmas in motion 🎅

I. Gross Motor Skills

Legs stomp, boots leave tracks in the snow,

Running fast, catching friends before they go.

Building big snowman, arms reach high,

Sledding down the hill, laughter fills the sky.

🌟🌟🌟

II. Fine Motor Skills

Knotting ribbons carefully on rows,

Delicate fingers are nimble, love bestows.

Cutting paper snowflakes, tying colorful t...

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ChristmasMerry ChristmasSantaWinter

the poor boy that had no Christmas

 

 

the poor boy that had no Christmas

 

a young boy lived in the country

looked forward to Christmas

a special time when a tree was cut

and strings of popcorn were hung

 

the family had little money

but the boy always received

at least a present or two

from Santa Clause when he

and his reindeers flew by on

Christmas Eve

 

the young boy’s best fr...

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santapoor boygifts

Secretly Wanted

Just think of how the advert might have gone
Retired but not yet tired?
Got a few evenings spare?
Must enjoy outdoor activities
Uniform supplied.

Conscientious sleigh driver not afraid of heights
Must be kind to children
Good with animals,
Sense of humour required.

Perks of Job: Secluded accomodation,
World wide travel at the drop of a hat,
Guaranteed to keep you young at heart
And...

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ChristmashumourSanta

A Christmas blog

Rooftops

 

 

Brushing soot off his tunic (new, wipe clean, breathable material) he surveys the rooftops.

He belches, the last lot’s food offerings (whisky, milk and breakfast cereal) playing havoc with his digestive system.

 

Whistling for the team (trained to perfection by the reindeer whisperer) he prepares for the off.

Straightening, the man of dreams consults his watch

...

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santagiftsrooftopsservingskiesfoodmerry

christmas past, 1947

christmas past 1947

 

when I was young

christmas was special

for a boy in a small home

that  could not afford

a big christmas

 

my brother and I walked

through the woods

looking for an evergreen

to cut for our tree

 

we finally found one

but it was spindly

few branches flowing from

its skinny trunk

 

we cut it and dragged

it home through the...

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christmas childrengiftssanta

Autopilot

Santa felt sassy and seasoned

Having switched from soda to whiskey

Stirred and slurred, his vision was blurred

Sleigh-driving was stupidly risky

 

Sloshing around but still seated

Strapped in, seemingly quite self-assured

Whilst swerving through Nice, he saluted the police

Whose chopper was wisely insured

 

Donna and Blitzen were startled

Dancer and Prancer were ma...

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Santa

Sod Santa!

'He's chubby and wise
And how his eyes glisten'
But…  Sod Santa, I say
Not that anyone listens
 
His damn sleigh is a nuisance
With high whistles and bells,
The lights and the fog horn
And wet reindeer smells
 
The noise, the commotion
The hurry, the fuss
The shouting and cursing
As he flies dawn to dusk
 
And I don't need the sound
of the hooves on my roof
Nor the turds t...

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santahumbug

SANTA'S SATNAV

Here's a bit of fun as we approach the Christmas month - some sympathy for all those Mums &

Dads left behind by their technically-savvy kids!  All credit to Pete Dymond and Marcie Summers

(who does a great job as "the kids" on the audio).

.....................................................................................................................................................

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satnav. sleighSanta

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