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elPintor

Wed 1st Feb 2017 12:12

"..and no one knows the ocean's mind..."

..unfathomable--that's a great line.

elP

Comment is about MR PRESIDENT (blog)

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Gideon Puccio

Wed 1st Feb 2017 10:56

We used to have a democracy... It has turned into a democrazy with this yahoo in office and it's only been 13 days! I did not like either candidate but I had to vote for one and it was not him but I am also glad it was not her. I still feel the Bern (2020)!

Great poem!

Comment is about MR PRESIDENT (blog)

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Wendy

Wed 1st Feb 2017 10:14

Dear M C it's about time some one stood up and told the truth it had to come to a head before long and fight against the establishment instead of just having to please them . Regards Wendy.

Comment is about DUMP ON TRUMP (blog)

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Paul Waring

Wed 1st Feb 2017 09:49

Yes, Ray, that Trump rump will take some piercing ๐Ÿ˜€

Excellent piece again.

Paul

Comment is about MR PRESIDENT (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 1st Feb 2017 09:42

๐Ÿ˜ข

Comment is about skeleton (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 1st Feb 2017 09:39

Feels like time for your victims to start taking revenge. I'm feeling a bit sorry for these poor women, they need empowering with some Girl Power! Spice up their lives! Give 'em a dagger!
C๐Ÿ˜ˆL

Comment is about Little Red Rabbit (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 1st Feb 2017 09:34

Definitely truths here MC and brave of you for saying. Those six countries were already on Obama's list or so we are told but then what is news and what is fake? One thing's for sure, like him or not, as the new POTUS he's doing what he said he would do in his election manifesto which is more than most newly elected leaders do. And he was elected by the US people on that agenda. The times they are a changing, on both sides of the pond. We watch and wait in fascination.

Comment is about DUMP ON TRUMP (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 1st Feb 2017 09:23

Lovely flow. Wasn't sure about the repetition of 'place' but reading over a few times it grew on me and provided that pivot which keeps the poem revolving like the planet we inhabit.

Comment is about On paths (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 1st Feb 2017 09:18

I'm with Andy (or Travis if you prefer) ๐Ÿ˜€ lots here to enjoy LB and my favourite sections by far are the 'get gone' ones - I can hear you saying them and when words 'speak' they speak volumes. Thanks for posting, Col.

Comment is about eighteen (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 1st Feb 2017 09:11

Your title reminded me of Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday Mr President to JFK in '62. I read somewhere that Team Trump struggled to find big name entertainers to sing at his inauguration balls or whatever. I wonder who would sing such a song in such a way nowadays. Maybe a big star in North Korea to their magnificently loony leader but then I suspect it wouldn't be by choice. Maybe Trump will sign an executive order forcing big stars to sing to him.
Thar he blows!

Comment is about MR PRESIDENT (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 1st Feb 2017 08:48

Nice one Ray,

I see a huge leviathan rising up from the deep, arching over the water with a Trumpesque head, teeth bared. Its all a bit Francis Bacon, lovely.

PS, if you have a moment look up Francis Bacon, a portrait called Businessman 1, see if you can see Trump in that image.

Great word picture Ray,

David.

Comment is about MR PRESIDENT (blog)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 1st Feb 2017 08:44

Yes Stu,

it is surprising how some believe humans will someday stop being evil, of course as individuals we can and do, and then the moralising, oh how we howl and point our pointy little fingers.

BTW thanks, I have been perusing CWC-ism's due to this introduction.

David.

Comment is about pmurt (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 1st Feb 2017 08:42

Yes we left The Club. No we didn't snub Europe. Brexit might yet turn out to be one of our greatest political moves, that's of course if the remainers stop whining and get behind Brand UK.

I was just reading an excellent article by the BBC's Europe editor Katya Adler in the Radio Times (how very British of me) entitled Sink or Swim - the EU could tear itself apart in 2017. It's worth the cover price to read or catch the documentary Thursday 9th - After Brexit: the Battle for Europe.

Two quotes from the article.

"Anger against the establishment had spread across Europe well before 23 June last year. Brexit can't be blamed. But the 2008 economic crisis and other pivotal developments can.... Governments and the EU appeared to bail out bankers while leaving ordinary people to struggle with financial instability and loss."

"...In much of Western Europe, the same political parties have been in government since the end of the Second World War. Sometimes centre-left, sometimes centre-right, but all of them - in the eyes of many Europeans - privileged, complacent and beholden to big business and to Brussels."

The problem is, we love Europe and all its diverse nations and cultures, and they love us too. But I have yet to meet anyone who loves the EU as a project or government. It was born out of the ruins and insecurities of WW2 but, like an overladen donkey, it has limped across the millennium and collapsed, exhausted and without purpose or relevance.

My apologies that my comment does not include any element of critique for your poem Paul. You have every right to post. I guess I'm just a little frustrated at the endless stream of anti-Brexit rhetoric that fills pretty much every corner of the internet and drowns out sensible reasoning and debate from the 'other side'.

My last blog entry here on WoL was an attempt to redress this balance and looks forward to a possible new world order. Okay, it was light-hearted and I'm no soothsayer, but other possibilities do exist if we can allow ourselves to think outside of the EU box because the EU no longer does what it says on the tin.

Can it be fixed? Personally I doubt it very much. Katya's article finished with these prophetic words: "Our thorny national debate about Brexit could turn out to be irrelevant. Sooner or later the EU as we know it may no longer be there for us to leave".

With respect,
Colin

Comment is about 21st Century Folly (blog)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 1st Feb 2017 07:35

Hi Stu,

thanks for your comments, much appreciated. I like your reference and imagining of Montmartre.

David

Comment is about The murder at Fleet ditch (Death of a Frenchman) (blog)

Original item by Wolfgar

Travis Brow

Wed 1st Feb 2017 07:03

Hello Little Bit, there are parts of this that i really like; for instance these lines:

my legs are closed now

I say: / oh yeah / well / go on now /get gone

what's your middle name? / where do you take proper girls / on a first date? / do you have a favorite / cursive letter?

if you loved someone, / when would you tell her?

does your mother know you're / a lying lush? / do you know that you're / a lousy fuck?

but i have to / to get my soul full / again (is there one too many 'to's in this bit?)

I say: / go on / get gone / don't make / me late

There is plainly heartache here but also bravado, and a fuck you attitude. i can almost feel the poem (you) teetering on the edge; it's like what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. If this is how you felt at eighteen then you were more grown up than i was at that age...

One thing though; do you need to say, in reference to your heart, 'ripped open / in two'. Wouldn't one of these phrases suffice, unless you put a comma between them.

Also, you use the word 'threw' twice. Should it be 'through', as in 'over'?

Please take my comments in the spirit they're intended. I'm glad you've posted more poems and i hope you continue to do so; they're always worth reading.

Andy. (or Travis, if you prefer).

Comment is about eighteen (blog)

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lynn hahn

Wed 1st Feb 2017 06:07

You mean the drawing Ray?

That was tough for me. I do impression art. It looked bad in color...just kept working with it then went...Heck...let's try black and white...boom worked lol



Comment is about EASE DROPPING (blog)

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Alexandra Rockwell Lorenz

Wed 1st Feb 2017 05:55

Graham-- that's very kind of you. I am pleased with how it came out and am glad I spent some time playing around with it.

Comment is about Stormy Weather (blog)

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Paul Waring

Wed 1st Feb 2017 05:26

Thank you Ray, what a wonderful interpretation of each line, I couldn't have put it better myself! Catafalque, ha-ha, very good, I love that sort of clever comedy and (excuse the pun) thanks for the support ๐Ÿ˜‚

Thank you, too Rob, lovely to hear from you. I'm very grateful to you for reading and for your kind compliments. So pleased you enjoyed this. I completely agree with what you say about the construction of a haiku/senryu. And, by the way Rob, would you say I've written more of a senryu than a haiku here? (I'm still learning!)

Thanks again to you both. I can't thank you enough, you've made me feel that I've progressed a little further now!

Paul

Comment is about HAIKU: Dead Poets Society (blog)

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New Shoes

Wed 1st Feb 2017 04:53

I was just afraid of a strong wind.

thanks

old shoes

Comment is about My Mindโ€™s A Blank (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

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New Shoes

Wed 1st Feb 2017 04:42

maybe we should all be armed with harpoons, I suppose it would have to be a cooperative effort to bring the kraken down. power to the people.

thanks for the poem

old shoes

Comment is about MR PRESIDENT (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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New Shoes

Wed 1st Feb 2017 04:27

very creative poem. I enjoyed it. I used to watch tv, then quit. only then did I see what it does to the mind and function of life. you depicted all very well.

old shoes

Comment is about Keep on Movies (blog)

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Wed 1st Feb 2017 03:49

Love it . love it. Going to share it. Thaks for sharing Old shoes. The poem speaks for itself and i really enjoy this straight forward approach.

Comment is about freedom (blog)

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Wed 1st Feb 2017 03:43

Ahhh, I know the feeling all too well and this poem is a good way to let people know that this feeling is felt universally, or at least by not just me. myself and I. I think this feeling sets us on a negative mindset that says that we are the only one in the struggle and we are tired because no one is helping or the situation is hopeless and I'm alone ( which is never true cuz God has placed helpers in everyone's life and He is always there)

Great piece.

Juan

Comment is about here we are again (blog)

Original item by old shoes

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Chris Hubbard

Wed 1st Feb 2017 00:49


Hi Colin,

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, here I am in sunny summer-time Perth, where the other day I saw 44C on the car's thermometer.

The Noongar Aboriginal people of the Swan River coastal plains have a mythical Dreamtime snake-like creature they call the Wagyl or Rainbow Serpent. It is responsible for creating the land and water formations of the region.

The cloudless night sky here is far clearer than anything I've seen in the northern hemisphere; the Milky Way is always spread across the sky, and even more clearly in the bush.

The forest is probably the great Karri and Jarrah forests of the south-west of WA, some parts of which are truly awesome.

All the best,

Chris

Comment is about Sleeping in a Forest (blog)

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Wed 1st Feb 2017 00:14

I really enjoyed this poem...I don't know if I am reading fiction or non-fiction though because June 23rd doesn't ring a bell to me; I am not into modern news.

Comment is about 21st Century Folly (blog)

Original item by Paul Nunn

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Wed 1st Feb 2017 00:00

Love this piece Pyrola... I could see myself reading this and then giving out a shout of freedom... really liberating. Thanks for sharing.

Comment is about The shout! (blog)

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John Coopey

Tue 31st Jan 2017 23:55

Thanks for the comments, Ray and Harry.
Yes, indeed, Ray, Aberfan was a huge blot of shame on the NCB.

Comment is about FIVE LAST YEARS (blog)

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Sydney Southers

Tue 31st Jan 2017 23:53

Cynthia,
Thank you for your warm welcome to WOL! I had Shakespear in mind when I used the phrase 'pilgrim palms' (from Romeo and Juliet).
-Sydney

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Robert Mann

Tue 31st Jan 2017 23:20

Paul - I have to agree with Ray on the excellence of this one. There are depths or layers to the best haiku/senryu encouraging multiple interpretations on such few words. This you have achieved, and I read different connotations every time I go back to this piece. Very accomplished.
Rob

Comment is about HAIKU: Dead Poets Society (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 31st Jan 2017 23:14

I think this is my favourite piece from you so far Alexandra. There's not a weak line in it!

Comment is about Stormy Weather (blog)

Original item by Alexandra Rockwell Lorenz

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Wolfgar Miere

Tue 31st Jan 2017 22:36

Thanks Ray and elP,

I enjoyed reading all your comments and am very grateful that you took time to read and respond.

The Falklands campaign was a bitter one, it was fought in nasty conditions in tuff terrain and often hand to hand, combat of the most gruesome kind.

Whilst serving in another campaign I had a friend who as a young soldier in 2 PARA had fought at Goose Green.

I remember him telling me that when they over-ran Argentine entrenched positions some of the Argentinian conscripts had hidden beneath the duck boards they had lined the trenches with, he related vividly how he and others engaged those soldiers hidden below, killing them all.

They had made no visible signal to surrender and as the battle was ongoing they were left no alternative than to kill what were basically fish in a barrel, (with bullets and grenades, imagine that horror) it was not a memory he took any pride or pleasure in recalling.

I suspect it troubled him then and still does now. I think of him and others when I re-read what I have written here.

I hope he has found some peace, as I hope all soldiers do, irrespective of origins of those whose sometimes demonic orders they are expected to follow.

Thanks again for reading X

David.

Comment is about Return to Mount Tumbledown (blog)

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Martin Elder

Tue 31st Jan 2017 22:28

Its hard to add anything to what has already been said except that people watching is a wonderful pastime as well as fabulous material for writing.
Well done
hearty congratulations

Comment is about 'People Watching' by Paul Waring is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Trevor Alexander

Tue 31st Jan 2017 22:27

Thanks guys.

It's not personal, I'm glad to say Louise, it was a kind of a challenge to write this sort of palindrome.

I think it can be quite effective Ray; this is a bit of an exercise in 'can I do it'. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Comment is about My Mindโ€™s A Blank (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

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Harry O'Neill

Tue 31st Jan 2017 22:15

Makes me glad I missed out on being a `Bevin Boy`

Comment is about FIVE LAST YEARS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Harry O'Neill

Tue 31st Jan 2017 22:02

John,
Exactly the right rhyme scheme for a battle rouser

(The words are a bit apprehensive though)


M.C...Do you realise that the Newburys came across with all those Saxon immigrants?

I`m pure British myself ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Comment is about IF THEY COME (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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raypool

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:50

Excellent scan to this Lynn, and just takes you with it. A really feminine take and a dynamic one . Clever title too.
The texting and fiddling with phones is a real turn off - unless of course its picture messages of private parts, but that's not a relationship nor is it sexy quite frankly.
The poem speaks to me of immaturity too...

Ray x

Comment is about EASE DROPPING (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

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raypool

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:46

Stunningly down to earth and inspiring John. Wonderfully resonant in a sort of style of the old tracts read out in Victorian times that poets would sell and inform at the same time!
I can't help but mention the terrible business of the NCB response to Aberfan. You will know it and have an informed opinion on it i'm sure.

Ray

Comment is about FIVE LAST YEARS (blog)

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raypool

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:41

I just thought i'd mention that this reminds me of a scene in the sixties' film Tom Jones : the scene of Albert Finney eating a water melon in a suggestive way was quite strong meat in those times; he was facing a lady at the dining table - perhaps you remember it.

Nicely evocative! Ray

Comment is about Watermelon Life (blog)

Original item by Randall Eckstein

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raypool

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:27

A clever idea to intone in a repetitive way to give body to the poem - a technique often used in religious ceremony I might add. In this case it works I believe by being quite difficult to analyse in a clinical way - dare I say sort of slippery for the mind!

Nice one. Ray

Comment is about My Mindโ€™s A Blank (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

patrick D Ortiz

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:27

thank you for taking the time for the read..

Comment is about untied shoes / the nowhere poems (blog)

Original item by david patrick simon

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raypool

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:24

Excellent Paul. In detail: enriching can mean spiritual nourishment or in a mineral sense , both options here.

Detritus of dead writers , a clever play on words(inspired) and also a kind of negation to the first line, though in a mineral sense complementary., so that's important.

A poet's graveyard, somewhere to be respected as being the focal point of both possibilities.

I hope I havn't missed anything!
A worthy addition to your catalogue, or should I say catafalque. oops!

Comment is about HAIKU: Dead Poets Society (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Louise Hogg

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:19

Trevor I really like this. It touches on a stream of conscience that I often feel when writing.
If this is personal thoughts at the moment then it's clear your mind may feel blank but you have wonderful words to describe it.

Louise

Comment is about My Mindโ€™s A Blank (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

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Alexandra Rockwell Lorenz

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:16

Thank you, Juan. Your comments are always a cheerful thing to see.

Have a good one.

Alex

Comment is about Stormy Weather (blog)

Original item by Alexandra Rockwell Lorenz

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Louise Hogg

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:13

Thanks Colin.

Comment is about The Sand Man (blog)

Original item by Louise Hogg

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elPintor

Tue 31st Jan 2017 21:10

Hello, Martin,

They say anger can be a powerful tool for change. But, while we seem to never fall short on emotion, people can seem awfully quick to sacrifice proper foresight for the sake of group mentality. Anyhow, there are still people who manage to do what's right with neither the support of others nor the promise of reward.

To me, your piece brings up a great question about the meaning of personal integrity. We hear people say, "you never know what you would do in that situation." Well, for me, that's only a call not to judge others. But, I really believe that if you never ask yourself any tough questions and decide their answers, you may never get the opportunity to keep your own word and opt for the hard way. The hardest person to live with can be yourself.

elP

ps
sorry for getting off subject, but your poem did bring all of that up to me.

Comment is about The People (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 31st Jan 2017 20:36

Thanks a lot for clearing things up for me Jeff and Alex. Really appreciate to hear the interpretation of the poem from the poet who wrote it.

Comment is about My attempt (blog)

Original item by Alexandra Rockwell Lorenz

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 31st Jan 2017 20:33

Your poems always amaze me.
It is very hard to pinpoint who is the persona of this poem at first.I felt like it was a cloud all along but it wasn't until you confirmed it in the last two lines that I was at ease with my inference.
Great piece as usual Alex.

Comment is about Stormy Weather (blog)

Original item by Alexandra Rockwell Lorenz

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 31st Jan 2017 20:25

Truly captivating...I liked the part about what do the poet call it - unrequited love, tragic, a one way romance - all of these came to mind...
Great piece David.

Comment is about untied shoes / the nowhere poems (blog)

Original item by david patrick simon

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Rich

Tue 31st Jan 2017 20:09

Strong stuff. About someone making that change. I like the positive strength you articulate and portray so well.

Comment is about Tonight (blog)

Original item by Daisy Lancaster

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Colin Hill

Tue 31st Jan 2017 19:58

I think that takes the biscuit Ray ๐Ÿ˜‚

Comment is about CURSORY RHYME (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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