Hi Steve... I have finally found an outlet for my bleeding beetroot heart poem... see
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=5711

Win

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

I am on the line now Dave (Ring... Ring), I need help, I need someone to read, somone to plead with as my beetroot heart bleeds. Hey I could be onto something here... (hangs up)

Comment is about Give Generously (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

An interesting and humouress melting pot of ideas. I like your poke at non poets but am trying rather hard not to identify with the alternative - what should I call myself then? Self satisfied poet, not wishing to progress overly but happy in her own skin - and its taken me a long long time to say that!

Comment is about Give Generously (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

I've logged in to comment! Loved this when you performed it in Wigan and love it on the page. Cheeky subtle humour and such originality - maybe the Tudor can run to some props next time - in fact I'm surprised they haven't already got one! LOL xx

Comment is about job interview (blog)

Original item by christine yates

This poem is a very finely balanced image - like the dancer. Each time I read it , I expect it to fall over, but it doesn't.So I have to read it again.
Steve Smith

Comment is about Red Shoes (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Phil, this is really good. It captures the lack of compassion for the individual in a sustained physically cold and uncaring environment. I like that your imagery uses sight, sound and eclectic realism. The 'Blue Hands' is not clearly explained until the end, which then encapsulates the whole idea with an almost insignificant but smashing simplicity.
If you so desire, I could show you a couple of spelling errors that would lift the tone one step higher.

Comment is about Blue Hands (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

I will be attending I need some tips!

Comment is about Performance Poetry Workshop in Wigan (article)

I'll come back when I've stopped crying; my keyboard's starting to fizz.

Comment is about Give Generously (blog)

Original item by Dave Morgan

Hi Winston, thanks for your kind appraisal of 'Last Runes Cast', much appreciated.

Best wishes

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Chris, I enjoyed hearing this in Wigan. I like your delivery and the gentle humour, works on the page too!

John

Comment is about job interview (blog)

Original item by christine yates

ta andy to steal away can mean to walk away stealthily or unexpectedly.

Comment is about Please Do Not Put Me In a Rhyme (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hi John
This is my fav bit too -
Red, through.
Wet, through. Wringing
out the truth beneath
the veins and scar tissue.

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

In answer to your question.. i only ever give up that which is too high and mighty to climb. That's not to say i might reach it some day but
I'm more comfy in shoes i can walk in without breaking my neck or indeed my ankle.

Janet.x

Comment is about Red Shoes (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Anthony, Really greatful for your recent comments on The Blood Onion. Some interesting observations. Need a bit of time to let them settle, will be back soon. Win

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Somehow missed this gem of a poem. Carole its wonderful. for me the best part is the way you make the characters part of the nature / material of the scene (without using the word interwoven! lol). Win x

Comment is about Who are you ? (blog)

Potentially explosive?
Well i didn't think you needed to be told a rose without thorns :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Oh Anthony - so glad to read this one. A truely beautiful idea and perfectly executed. If only more ladies of the night were able to make that journey - so out of reach for many. Red stilettoes do indeed carry a lot sybolism, not all of which has anything to do with eroticism.
Isobel x

Comment is about Phoenix (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Anthony, Your poem Shadowmen is tight and full of imagery and maintains that lump in the throat for me that must have been a permanent sensation for those inhabiting last ditch homes on 'The rim of hell' brilliant finishing words those, long silence after I think for most readers....... and rightly so. Win x

Comment is about Two war poems (edited!) (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Dave, I love the roller coaster journey of this one. Not just that, it is handled so smoothly (I think this is accomplished also by the tight rhyming structure). We understand the story, take the journey and feel enlightened. nice last lines also. Truth win x

Comment is about Last Runes Cast (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Hi Andy, What about adding a line at the end, something like

I'd lend you my car keys
and go for a stroll (or similar)
if he did that.

liked this one Andy. Win x

Comment is about REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD .. (blog)

Original item by Andy N

love it!x

Comment is about girl on a bus (blog)

nice one, pete

Comment is about right click, save as (blog)

I have made some changes to ‘Blood Onion’, which you were so kind to leave some comments on recently. Could you please go to the blog entry and see if you think these changes are for the better or make sense to you.
Your analysis was a great help. It is meant to be 'him' feeling the anguish from the start as she is doing the 'he loves me...' thing in a taunting unfeeling, maybe manic way. Also The word 'throbs' I have decided to stick with it, take your point, it is unusally placed but we can all break the rules a little sometimes I am sure. Ihave written more details on the blog entry. Many thanks, Win

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Dave - I have made some changes to ‘Blood Onion’, which you were so kind to leave a comment on recently. Could you please go to the blog entry and see if you think these changes are for the better or make sense to you.
Not read this out yet, Glad you liked the “Throbs” I thinks it works. You are right about the final cut of the knife at the end.
Cheers, Win

Comment is about Dave Dunn (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Hi John - I have made some changes to ‘Blood Onion’, which you were so kind to leave a comment on recently. Could you please go to the blog entry and see if you think these changes are for the better or make sense to you.

Glad you like it, and the ending, yes it does have a similar feel to “She left her coat behind” which is no bad thing as you know I love that one of yours

Win x

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

John - you must have led a sheltered life! Get out there and buy your young wife some - then gird your loins...
Francine - you always give me the right encouragement - yes I cheated with the picture - my legs aren't quite as slender but if Emmerson can swap arses, i thought I might get away with calves...
Talking about Emmerson - I totally misread his comment and misread kickers for knickers - it was only later on in the day that I realised - I thought he was being amazingly up front... One little n can make such a difference - don't you think Andy? Groan groan - I'm on such a roll now - maybe I'll get some tap shoes for my next performance - I'll just tap through the cock ups and no-one will notice.
Anthony, you missed out the greatest Red Shoe story of all - Hans Christian Anderson - though that was a very sad one - hopefully mine will have a happy ending.
Thanks to you all.
Isobel x

Comment is about Red Shoes (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Magical and dream-like,and I know what you mean about wanting to hold on to 'special' moments in life,then they're gone!

Comment is about girl on a bus (blog)

Good to hear your romantic meanderings;different to some of your other stuff,yet can still recognise your voice in this!

Comment is about right click, save as (blog)

schema schemata!

Comment is about girl on a bus (blog)

Thanks for your comments Anthony! I think we can but try get past these social conditions - every time we do we become a little bit more free.

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Oi !

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I like 'whispers and caresses on the breeze'.
such a lot in a few words.

Comment is about undercurrents (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Nailed It BK!...also to confuse things a little bringing in the end of love as construct or words and words as schema...I really must try harder to make my efforts more obscure.

Comment is about Please Do Not Put Me In a Rhyme (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Excellent poem, Dermot - though for the first time ever - I think I've been over-faced by my 5-a-day.
In the end, you know, friends last longer, and are often a great deal truer, than lovers - and definitely last longer than aubergines.
Cx

Comment is about This is a sestina comma discuss (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

Aye Aye Cap'n.
Stop beating yourself up for being a man.
Men and women both have the capacity for good and evil...we can choose good !

Comment is about New poem: How Am I Better? (blog)

Nice one Anthony, something in there for all types ...hell is other people?

Comment is about a curse - for the mildly irritating (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

This is intriguing Tommy. I'm not sure what you're trying to say...is it all in the last line,
'...steal away from easy rhyme...'
about not being predictable, about being adventurous in your writing?

Comment is about Please Do Not Put Me In a Rhyme (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Well said Daniel,
'...no matter how small or how old you are you don't have to suffer in silence...'

Comment is about pieces of heroism (blog)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

Thanks Anthony, and I'm glad you got the reference.

Comment is about This is a sestina comma discuss (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

Oh là là... encore des chaussures rouges ; )

I can relate so well to this Peter...
Tu sais le dire...
xxxxx

Comment is about right click, save as (blog)

Never!

Comment is about Red Shoes (blog)

Original item by Isobel

sorry that's- 'imagery'

Comment is about job interview (blog)

Original item by christine yates

"Across from me

Models all three"

I love this poem
I'm loving the imagary of course, some super couplets, the simplicity is Morrissey in parts

great.
and I great to see it Live at Tudor!

Comment is about job interview (blog)

Original item by christine yates

very funny with a hot mug mark

Comment is about Ash Dickinson (poet profile)

Original item by Ash Dickinson

loved the carbon footprint hilarious lol

Comment is about Tim Ellis (poet profile)

Original item by Tim Ellis

Thank you all. Re-reading it, yes it does seem negative and even dismissive towards the blessed contented, and that wasn't the intention. People are contented for all sorts of reasons, so the intention was to raise more questions than answers. I'd like to revise it now to make that clearer but have a lot of trouble re-visiting poems once launched - a weakness, I know

Comment is about Looking for more (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Very thought provoking one this Chris.
Cate xx

Comment is about JaXOnoRY gorY storiEZ (blog)

Original item by Chris Jam

Oh this is a good poem Cynthia.Full of compassion.My mind jumps back to the image of little Jamie Bulger being led off through that shopping mall by those two children all those years ago. Are we teaching our children any better today what humanity is all about?
Cate xx

Comment is about A Five-minute Poem (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Agreed.....but its hard to see humour in a situation when you are the one involved and just want to rip the bastards heart out!!!!!
Cate xx

Comment is about REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD .. (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Hi Dave, a clever, witty poem. I can see where Cynthia is coming from with her comment though. Does contentment necessarily mean these things? Maybe it depends where we are in our life. Sometimes we are go getters full of enthusiasm for a project, and sometimes we just need to rest and be content with what we`ve got. Very few of us reach the nirvana stage! I really enjoyed this poem though, and think it`s very well written.
Cate xx

Comment is about Looking for more (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley