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<Deleted User> (7212)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 21:05

Dearest Ann - it really is time you had a shag. :) B

Comment is about knightmoves (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

<Deleted User> (6534)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 21:01

Thank you
Billy is also a great reader of his own poetry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=56Iq3PbSWZY

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

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Isobel

Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:37

I wonder whether it isn't sometimes harder to pull if you are extrememly good looking - in that men think you may be out of their league or frightened to try their luck...I do think that a lot of them are put off by a strong woman also. Hard to tone it down, I know...So what is my advice? Take an ugly pill and behave like an adoring puppet - you'll be beating them off with a shitty shovel.

Comment is about Naomi Hefter (blog)

Original item by Naomi Hefter

<Deleted User> (7212)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:33

Brilliant !
and I wonder what cats dream about anyway ?

Comment is about Sleeping Lives (blog)

<Deleted User> (7212)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:24

Naomi - this is really great & does indeed sum up the emptiness. 10 years of wandering around the Asda aisles on my own was no fun. I could've managed without a FK but what I missed was a hug, a kiss and "that" woman smell. fingers crossed love !

Comment is about Naomi Hefter (blog)

Original item by Naomi Hefter

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Noetic-fret!

Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:07

Hi Larissa, i have read your work, and i got to say there is a sincerity i like about it. its very touching and is definately no where near the pretention that much of the material on this site boasts. I hope you stay with us awhile and let us read some more of your works! i really like it.

rgds and much love

michael

xx

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Isobel

Mon 5th Jul 2010 19:02

I think restlessness is one of the things that distinguishes us from other apes, Dave... I've often said we would be happier without such self awareness and intelligence.
I can hear a bit of Queen (the group) echoing through this.

There is an awful lot in here I can identify with - you didn't include the dead hamster though...

Comment is about Restlessness (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

<Deleted User> (8394)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 18:17

wow, I love this, you get such a strong sense of, a tantalising if only,it's a brilliant picture and the love me only mouth, brilliant.

Comment is about Katie is a Barmaid (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Jeff Dawson

Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:49

Hi Greg, its all pondstretcher, poundworld etc now!! No Pick n Mix in there!! Cheers Jeff

Comment is about Something for Everyone (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Jeff Dawson

Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:43

Hi Gus, I've had a few nights like this, I think, I can't really remember! Cheers Jeff

Comment is about Katie is a Barmaid (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Francine

Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:24

Naomi, I love that you have managed to turn these sentiments into a humourous rant.

Comment is about Naomi Hefter (blog)

Original item by Naomi Hefter

<Deleted User> (7073)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:14

Very graphic, compulsive reading though! sometimes it's good to let rip and get it out of the system. You are right about Gemini's though we are b*stards and best avoided.
TC

Comment is about Naomi Hefter (blog)

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Francine

Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:10

You relate so well life's painful, sometimes desperate longing for love, acceptance and understanding.
This poem speaks volumes...

xxx

Comment is about Katie is a Barmaid (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Lynn Dye

Mon 5th Jul 2010 15:45

Thanks Isobel - good point - I forgot to mention! x

Comment is about Flesh (Free Verse) (blog)

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Isobel

Mon 5th Jul 2010 12:50

I see you lost the 6th stanza. Thought I'd mention it cos I wouldn't want anyone to think i was talking about the current one which fits in with the rest of the poem. x

Comment is about Flesh (Free Verse) (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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alisonsmiles68@gmail.com

Mon 5th Jul 2010 12:42

Succinct! Was the 6th line staled or stalled? I was just wondering if soured might relate to the milk more closely than staled?

Comment is about Forget The Forgive. (blog)

<Deleted User> (5593)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 10:16

<Deleted User> (5593)

Mon 5th Jul 2010 10:15

Photographs by Peter Crompton

Comment is about All aboard the poetry Bus, Hebden Festival July 2010 (photo)

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 5th Jul 2010 06:01

Just saying hello and hope you are well - and I miss you on here! xxxx

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 5th Jul 2010 05:59

Yea, I like this too - enigmatic, but says it all - you're never so lonely as when you're in a crowd - that's why I spend most of my time on my own! ;-) xx

Comment is about New Company (blog)

Original item by Crackling

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Tommy Carroll

Mon 5th Jul 2010 00:58

@Bond What has this poem got to do with you? Perhaps your rage is misplaced, perhaps you suffer from egotistical grandeur, perhaps I suffer from couldn't giva- a- shititis.

Comment is about Kensington (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Chris Dawson

Sun 4th Jul 2010 23:32

I see where you're coming from with the Leonard Cohen, but Brummie?!
Cx

Comment is about Anything Goes (blog)

<Deleted User> (6517)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 23:02

this is lovely- i know the feeling.

Comment is about New Company (blog)

Original item by Crackling

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Lynn Dye

Sun 4th Jul 2010 20:30

Thanks Isobel for your kind comments on "Flesh", glad you like the re-write. To be honest, I wondered about the 6th stanza myself, and couldn't decide whether to keep it in or not. It's always true people will think differently but I value your opinion, thanks again. xx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 20:00

ye cannae have 2much of a good 'thang!.....yeh baby! oh! I,ve gone all warm again-won,t tell you where-hee...hee...Stiffen-xx

Comment is about Flesh (Free Verse) (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Isobel

Sun 4th Jul 2010 18:50

IMO this is much stronger than the rhyming version Lynn. I think that 'and bend to kiss my breast' is a much gentler, lovlier image than what you had earlier. In both versions, I like the first two lines - a bold and sensuous introduction to your poem. I'd probably order things differently. Have the stripping off first, the eyes and the french murmurings later... You have to just love poetry - so many avenues we can take when we construct a poem...

There are still refinements you could make if you were really wanting to refine this as a piece. I would get rid of the 'Now you are..' and just say what it is happening - so it doesn't feel like a list of happenings.I'd be tempted to lose the 6th stanza also and just concentrate on the joy of sex - with all the emotional connections implicit. That's for you to decide though. Every one who reads this will give you different opinions. It is hard to know sometimes whether to offer them... not wishing to undermine at all...It is a brave subject matter - I applaud you. x

Comment is about Flesh (Free Verse) (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 4th Jul 2010 18:31

Not sure about purpling . . . But may remove all the time checks! Got to the beach this morning and the RNLI board always has the tide times. 10.47 sounded like a good title. So I jotted it down sitting on a rock - not my special rock as that was still underwater!

Comment is about High Tide - 10.47 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Lynn Dye

Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:47

Hi Jeff,
Thank you for your kind comments on "Flesh".
Just been reading your samples and latest blogs, all good stuff, especially like "Glastonbury - no more". Cheers, Lynn x

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

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Lynn Dye

Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:30

Lol, thanks to All.
On reflection I decided the first two lines of verse 4 didn't scan well, so I have re-written these, which actually now makes him not such a multi-lingual clever dick!!! (or a language teacher, hee hee!)
Free verse version to follow...
xx

Comment is about Flesh (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

<Deleted User> (7073)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:29

The heather and the fluttering safety flags make a good contrast to an otherwise somber and threatening vista. I think the contrast is well defined, an atmospheric and chillingly brooding piece of work. The purpling heather in the North Yorkshire moors are beautiful in late summer.
TCX

Comment is about High Tide - 10.47 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Lynn Dye

Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:21

I like purpling the hillside, but then what do I know? Lol. Good poem again, Ann x

Comment is about High Tide - 10.47 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Lynn Dye

Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:16

Hi Ann, thanks for comments on "Flesh". I often do put in the odd humorous comment, so the "too hot to handle" line was intentional, but if any of the rest sounded comical then it wasn't intended! I shall post a free verse version as well.
Lol, love your comment on him being a language teacher! My REAL guy is the one who started to snore in "Warm Embrace", so this guy could be anything really, though I did say French AFTER A FASHION! Lol, Lynn xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:12

reminds me of a shop we have next door to our chippy-a flesh n sexshop! tee...hee..SW

Comment is about Flesh (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:18

To me this is a jumbo pack of descriptives too tightly crammed to be be savoured. Dancing streets, restless bedrooms, crowded queues, tousled beds etc. Too much too quickly. it sometimes sounds like a list.

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:13

There are so many good and bad things about this Ann.
I think that you have diluted your killer last line by using it twice before. I hate the thought of heather "purpling" but love the chaos of waves. I think "if you were there you wouldn't last long" is clumsy but really like the woolly grey sky and the thought of staring down the raging ocean. As always Ann thoughtful stuff.

Comment is about High Tide - 10.47 (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Isobel

Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:05

Hello Cynthia - an epic it is - that was the feeling I got from it before I read your comment. Your telling of this story is much like an that of an age old tale. It feels more like prose/story than poem to me but that is not a criticism - my latest was a bit like that. Your voice is very passionate and I like that - humanity and love survives amidst all the chaos and horror.

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (8394)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 15:15

I am going to be brave and leave a comment, bearing in mind I don't know the rules of poetry etc, but I am not very good with long poems, bearing this in mind, unless they really flow, but I loved the dancing streets, I loved politics scissored flags, restless bedrooms is brilliant, I love that, I think there are a lot of good ideas, perhaps it should be slightly condensed, somehow, I don't know how, and I don't follow any rules, but am just trying to add a helpful comment, I hope, x

Comment is about Beloved (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 4th Jul 2010 14:46

Blimey, if it's not Vaughan Williams or Marilyn Manson it's just not good enough! No pleasing some people! Just kick those size 5 cloggs off and go for it! x ;-)

Comment is about I'm bored - feel like dancin' anyone? (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Jeff Dawson

Sun 4th Jul 2010 14:44

Blimey Lynn, something for every occasion it says on your profile, this is romantic and sensual for a sunday morning! Great stuff.

Thanks for comment on 'Our Father' - I had to keep changing the words as the nightmare got worse! ha, best wishes Jeff X

Comment is about Flesh (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Greg Freeman

Sun 4th Jul 2010 13:56

Thanks very much for your suggestions, Cynthia. You're right, it is a bit shambolic, as is most of my poetry, but the trouble is, it's meant to be a sonnet, and so removing lines 6 and 7 would put me in breach of the trades descriptions act!

Comment is about Something for Everyone (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 13:43

Being a man of the cloth(ears) I find this quite,quite disgraceful,especially being a holy day-shocking! shocking! please write some more-ASAP! OOO! I,m overcome with emulsion-or something similar-ha!red 'ot! (HISSS)TEFAN-XXX

Comment is about Flesh (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Ray Miller

Sun 4th Jul 2010 13:18

Ann. Ta for your comments on Anything Goes. It's one of my Leonard Cohen impressions.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

<Deleted User> (8341)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 13:17

By gum, Alison! This opens a new perspective on climbing for me. Like the earthiness.

Comment is about Climber boy (blog)

Original item by Alison Smiles

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 4th Jul 2010 13:13

Hi - Just relocated to this poem- cos you updated your profile I guess - Think it is great, and it says it all - not sure about the Ken and Diedre photo though! But if you love someone, what the heck!

Comment is about Glitter in an Afro (blog)

Original item by Mia Darlone

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Mia Darlone

Sun 4th Jul 2010 13:08

Thank you all for your comments, I'm sorry not to get back individually, I'll be more socialable on this site once my production is over and I've come up for air.

Mia x

PS Gus - I've gone brunette!

Comment is about Glitter in an Afro (blog)

Original item by Mia Darlone

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 4th Jul 2010 12:22

Hope things have improved since May 18th Crackling - it must have been very traumatic for you!

Comment is about Crackling (poet profile)

Original item by Crackling

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 4th Jul 2010 12:18

Wow! Latin, French and romance all at once! Is he a language teacher, your guy? x

Comment is about Flesh (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 4th Jul 2010 12:16

Hi Lynn - I just saw Isobel's comment on Flesh and your reply to her about rhyming etc. Funnily enough, you said that rhyming works better in an amusing poem. I think that with Flesh, the rhyme almost made it into an amusing poem, which was probably not what you intended! It would be interesting to see a second version in free verse and compare. x

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Isobel

Sun 4th Jul 2010 12:10

Yep - I hear what you are saying. I often start of a poem in free verse and then whittle away at it until it near as damn it rhymes - it must be the musician in us... or old habits dying hard LOL x

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Lynn Dye

Sun 4th Jul 2010 12:07

Hi Isobel, thank you for commenting on "Flesh". Before I joined WOL I had only ever written rhyming poetry, but I have recently dabbled with free verse - in "Arillas" and "Warm Embrace" for instance, yet sometimes I have to actually change verses because they ended up rhyming anyway!! I actually think rhyming works better with comical poems, but free verse is probably better with the romantic. Thanks for advice anyway, always welcome, and I shall give it more of a try. xx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

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