Thx for reading and commenting on my last poem Jane- appreciated.
I left comments on the poem.
My Best
Chris
Comment is about jane wilcock (poet profile)
Original item by jane wilcock
Thx for the comment/feedback on my last poem. And thx for a great night in Hoylake.
My Best
Chris
Comment is about Graham Robinson (poet profile)
Original item by Graham Robinson
Thx for all the comments/feedback- appreciated.
Sorry to hear of the sad connection Gray.
The poem came out of reading too many sad stories in various newspapers. Modern times, economics and pressures resulting in Human failings. Situations that occurred a little too often to simply be called anecdotal.
I suppose if you've worked hard and honestly all your life. If you have lived the life that politicians venerate and extol; only to find out that the pension has been pissed away by corporate gamblers. If you then come to realize that your retirement is lurking, waiting to ambush you and take away everything you have strived for throughout your life...Well if that happens, it is easy to see how under such pressure people will make mistakes, hide debts, chase and try and recapture the dream, the always pictured retirement etc.
I see both people in this as victims who themselves become yesterdays post, yesterdays news.
Glad you think it concludes well Steve- it's the best part of the poem in my opinion.
Hi Jane- I agree that she probably did what she needed to do given the breakdown in the relationship. And clearly he made mistakes, the biggest one in betraying her trust by hiding the problems. It's not fiction is it? I mean it is something we have all read about. We have all heard of couples falling apart like this. Glad you liked the last verse.
Hey John, glad you like- ta. The last lines are actually 2 lines-feminine ending tetrameter and pentameter respectively. The lay out on the page is just to hide the ending around the corner. It's a combination that has been used quite a bit. Maybe the layout causes a jagged edge?
G.Nichol- Glad you feel the poem worked for you- thx.
I found out today that the poem has been published in a magazine called
'The Merseysider' in part of an article on poetry (hey! :) The magazine is available at The Tate galley Liverpool, all the Liverpool museums and will soon be available via Smiths newsagents and possibly Tesco.
Chris
Comment is about Yesterdays Post (blog)
Original item by Chris Co
Thats not Steve it's Mike, HONEST! never mind!
Mike
Comment is about of course... tis Mike Hilton (photo)
steve mellor
Wed 18th Jan 2012 19:23
Hi John
Just to say howdo, and how much I enjoyed your couple of poems at Marsden last night.
A good night all round I thought
Comment is about John Ling (poet profile)
Original item by John Ling
Hi John - welcome to WOL. Looking forward to reading more of your work on here. (Not so sure about your ideas about a first date though!)
Comment is about John Ling (poet profile)
Original item by John Ling
Love your model railway poem - welcome to WOL!
Comment is about Glyn Pope (poet profile)
Original item by Glyn Pope
another beautfully wrriten description of something half way imaginary and real. i love that x
Comment is about Fate Modern (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
I've tried this self-assessment, Ian, and I do badly on Gluttony, Sloth, Greed and Lust (although the last is a failure of intent, not realisation!).
I score reasonably well in the Avarice, Anger and Pride exams.
So it just depends on whether I get marked down for wanting to be lustful rather than not getting the opportunity.
What I'm also not sure about is, "Is it matchplay?" ie if I pass 4 out of 7, am I in; or can I still fail the exam if my overall mark is pulled down by 3 heavy fails and 4 only-just passes?
And another thing; is it acceptable that these rules are not declered in advance. Oughtn't there to be some practice of "discovery"?
Comment is about The Seven Deadliest And All That (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
Some really inspired lunacy. But it begs the question::
how busy can mental nurses actually be!!
Comment is about My Christmas List (blog)
A perceived enemy can be a matter of time and circumstance. One wonders how the inhabitants of H Block might have dealt with imprisonment by the Japanese of WW2. For all their merciless brutality towards their captives - even to inflicting pitiless death - there is no account of any of their prisoners resorting to what is politely referred to as the "dirty protest".
Time and circumstance....
Comment is about Bobby Sands Wonderhouse Of Invisible Strength (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
I like the changing tense in the first lines of each verse, clever that.
I really like it as a whole...with its little clues, and ambiguity. In fact, I LOVE the ambiguity, and 'mad life's beauties' - mmm :)
Comment is about The first of January's nights (blog)
Original item by Dali
Hello there - hey, thank you for your note on 'I Can Try', appreciate it :)
Welcome to WOL - I hope you enjoy it here as much as I do.
I really like your 'End of the World' - I've been entertaining post-apocalyptic fantasies since I was a child. Almost can't wait for it! Most people wouldn't understand that but I think you would ;)
You're in the North West I see. You should come along to the monthly WOL night at the Tudor house pub in Wigan - there's loads of us go to that, and it's dead friendly :)
It's always held on the second Thursday of every month, so maybe you could make it to the February one?
Comment is about Gray Nicholls (poet profile)
Original item by Gray Nicholls
I like warmy windows and the remote clotted to our hearts. Just "Hope and Peace carded the walls" would do, I think.I'm not sure what to make of the ending - literal or metaphorical?
Comment is about Murder Christmas 2011 (blog)
Original item by jane wilcock
Thanks for reading Rachel!
Comment is about The first of January's nights (blog)
Original item by Dali
Glad you're in there pitching. I wondered where
you were.
Comment is about LIVE ON! (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Same for me, Dave but this is top stuff..
Comment is about Birthday with a zero (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
very clever i think - think you could have carried this on for a few more stanzas must admit however as there is more that could have been said here.
Comment is about NEVER LOST, EASILY FOUND (blog)
Original item by Mike Hilton
really enjoyed this - perhaps the last line 'How I hope not' could do with breaking away from the rest of that stanza however.
Comment is about Untitled as yet! (blog)
Original item by kayberley
HI Greg thanks for comments on the Ali poem. It was a spin-off from my 'Shadow Boxing' poem for my dad. I had a stanza about him liking Ali, but thought it was too much, so it ended up in a poem of its own!
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
like the use of short lines here, Chris but it's a top piece in my mind totally
Comment is about Yesterdays Post (blog)
Original item by Chris Co
good stuff, John - must admit - bet it was good fun to write - who wrote what out of interest?
Comment is about January Write Out Loud Collage Poem (blog)
Original item by J F Keane
particularly like the way you build up to that last line standing alone from the rest of the piece, but it's a very strong piece i think otherwise.
Comment is about Fate Modern (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
<Deleted User> (6895)
Tue 17th Jan 2012 22:02
Straight from Neatsville!
Comment is about NEVER LOST, EASILY FOUND (blog)
Original item by Mike Hilton
Pity about the controversy and big congratulations. I've enjoyed Burnside's work for years.
Comment is about John Burnside wins TS Eliot prize (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Some excellent imagery and left-field rhymes (millennia/heavier).
I also like the ambivalence of "sustaining us in uprightness" - the physical and moral. (I'm less sure about its cadence which hiccups a bit).
Comment is about The Dream Ticket (blog)
Good stuff, Chris.
I'm a bit less certain than SB about the final line, though. The cadence if it seems to hiccup a bit - that's me being picky!
Give me a crack on the nose when we meet next.
Comment is about Yesterdays Post (blog)
Original item by Chris Co
I'm not having that, Ian!
We can't blame the muse for what we write.
I like the image though.
Comment is about IMPISH (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
John, have you noticed only men have answered this poem?
Oh, and for the record, there's nothing wrong with my map reading!
Comment is about Clitoris (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Cogito ergo sum....
......unless I'm in someone else's dream.
Comment is about LIVE ON! (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Congratulations to all the winners! :o)
Comment is about WOL competition: and the winner is ... (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
High Chris,
Missed this. Would love to guest the Spoke in April.
Plenty of time to put something (hopefully) entertaining together.
I`d love to see the Wirral Ode show sometime (I went once on the wrong night) But can`t make this one.
Comment is about Chris Co (poet profile)
Original item by Chris Co
Haha - the former, sir ;) You'd have liked the tshirt I customised for my last performance, as it goes. You ever read my Cause and Effect poem?
You on Facefuck?
Actually, re the religion thang, I was brought up an atheist, no baptism etc, believed that firmly for years. Now, however, I have actually read the whole fucking bible believe it or not and hold a different view. What's in there is nowhere NEAR what the so-called 'Christians' would have you believe!! I changed my mind a lot but not enough room to do it justice here really - demands a proper debate. It's a comment, admittedly caustic, on all those eejits who take Revelations as a seriuz part of the bible. The bible is an astounding collection of writings and I think everyone should have a read, so you're not getting regurgitated shite for info.
Anyhoooo - no, I haven't performed it because a) so very few people would actually get it, and b) those who did would be divided equally between a lynch mob and buying me drinks ;)
Maybe I should perform it sometime...see what happens :)
Thanks chuck :)
Comment is about Richie Muster (poet profile)
Original item by Richie Muster
I appreciate the empathy expressed in your comment on my recent blog. Thank you. As for your own poem, I was "captured" from the first line - a sign of better things to come, usually, - and I wasn't disappointed.I thought the lines -
"In the last fitful fluttering of her fingers
And the resignation of her senses to eternity..." particularly impressive - as was the whole poem. I'm almost tempted to say "they don't write 'em like that any more".(Tiny caveat: couldn't "my own" <death> replace "mine" in the closing lines?) I took up my pen and copied it - and I can't say fairer than that to a fellow scribbler. It is clear your poem was written with the closest attention and care...a fitting tribute to your departed loved one...and one worthy of a place in any anthology.
MC
Comment is about Richie Muster (poet profile)
Original item by Richie Muster
Whoo-hoo, another heathen! Let's you and me go into the temple, single out each and every moneylender and make a fiery deposit, eh? Have you performed this? What was the reaction?
Comment is about Biblical Imbecility (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Ta very much for the comments re: my profile rant, chuck. It's all been taken on board, processed and assimilated. As for you being a 'reliable anarchist': if you mean you're a libertarian socialist/communist [a la Kropotkin/Bakhunin/Chomsky etc] rather than merely anarchic then you're not boring. 'Merely anarchic' to me means 'flibbertigibbet', 'formless', lacking rigour; someone without a code of ethics intended to make [better] sense of the world. Anarchist is force for good: the tempest come to change the world...for the better. Long may you be a 'reliable anarchist' in a world in thrall to shallow commodification and zedlebrity status!
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Coincidence or synchronicity? - that you should read 'In Her Passing' [about my dear auntie, my 'second mum'] and I find that you have written this sweet eulogy for your sister. Not being a christian I look on these departures as a return to the 'ocean of consciousness', from which we all appear as mere droplets of condensation in this particular multiverse, a comment which is NOT intended to cheapen the intensity of your loss. Think of this posting, not as sympathy, but empathy [feeling 'with', not 'for'.]
Comment is about THE DEATH OF AN ELDER SISTER (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Souls to sell
Poetry bids high
Quick as fire
Thin as wire
We return to
Write yet another.
A collection of minds
Expressing so many
Workable different lines.
Comment is about January Write Out Loud Collage Poem (blog)
Original item by J F Keane
Hi Laura I'm glad you liked the Ali poem. Yes, he's a great man and one who when he was really quite young took so much crap from the establishment.
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thanyou all. I love trains, too, when I can get a seat.For me it's a tier of hell to be squashed up against others in a confined space. Well, maybe not all others. Kate Moss would be ok.
Comment is about The Dream Ticket (blog)
What Steve said...interesting to read your note on the mix and match thang. I like the surrealism of this...tied to the title. Love the line about Crime and Punishment - totally fitting.
Comment is about The Dream Ticket (blog)
Meant to comment on this at the time and got distracted.
This is an unusual one for you Ray, and I find it really intriguing. I love the structure of it - it's like you're breaking all your own usual rules.
Comment is about Erosion (blog)
Hello chuck - just read your updated grumpy-arsed profile :D
What does tend to happen on WOL - to EVERYONE on here - is that you get most of your comments in the first 48 hours of putting it up. I think this is because there are a certain amount of regular readers/posters/contributors, and they will be the people who see it and comment. You may get the odd delayed comment, but it happens to everyone.
Here's a big tip though - because your monthly entries 'stack up' in weblinks at the bottom of your most recent blog, I find it much better to just put one up at a time, and then leave it a week before putting another up. I've not read them yet, but I see already that you put up five yesterday. People will only see the last one you put up, and not everyone will be arsed enough to backtrack to the previous ones.
There y'are, don't say I never do owt for ya! ;p
Comment is about Richie Muster (poet profile)
Original item by Richie Muster
Summmons up a place and time very strongly - an experience of what it can mean to be stuck on a crowded train. But there's more here than just that
Comment is about The Dream Ticket (blog)
Enjoyed reading this as I too can relate to this 'wonderful' experience... Interesting how our mind takes us through.
Comment is about The Dream Ticket (blog)
Chris Co
Wed 18th Jan 2012 20:46
Thx for the comments/feedback on my last poem John. No slap, rather a thx for reading and commenting. Look forward to hearing you soon.
My Best
Chris
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey