Hey Jack - I stand (no, I sit!) corrected..."you silly sod" is better - and it scans nicely too.
Your imagination is positively seething!

Comment is about Don't Take Yourself So Serious (blog)

Original item by Jack Pascoe

Are you starting to think and talk in this kind of syntax now?! Worrying at the off licence!

Comment is about 11 The Imaginator (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

I can just picture Rolf Harris singing this; perhaps even Percy Plant himself in his dotage [hang on, his dotage is all but here already, isn't it? How old are the Zep guys now?]

Re: 'The Persistence Of Memory'; Jackie [the subject of the poem] was a bluff, thunder-thighed [all that cycling] Dutch lass; I don't know about 'giving her one', John - it was more a question of 'letting her take one' if she wanted it. As it turned out there was neither give nor take between us, on almost every subject.

Comment is about Stairlift to Heaven (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Swipe me, Anthony: this is so good it tore a swathe through the primal depression that's been ringing [knelling?] in my ears these past few weeks; first it spoke to me - succinctly, damned-near perfectly weighted [life requires some uncertainty, after all] about darkness, and that 'trapped', futile feeling common to this wintry condition - see, I felt I could understand/share Neil's suffocation, albeit as metaphor; and then, in rifling through that bag with you I recalled with an almost bittersweet wistfulness the kind of 'ephemera' which, paradoxically, do so much to add some meaningful texture to our lives. Before I read this I felt quite bereft, was beginning to feel betrayed by language, that it had lost its power completely to communicate. I may be wrong: perhaps, thanks to this narrative/reflection it hasn't quite 'joined the bleeding choir invisible' yet, after all.

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Thanks guys

That is well spooky about the burnt palm innit? I've no idea where that came from tbh, just popped into my head.

Ray - I did think about 'cast' but discarded it for the rhyme and sonics of 'throw' with stone.

The lack of symmetry is connected to the power of the truth, how it covers more ground, does more good than harm, and spreads peripherally rather than concentrating on one spot.

Next time you see a stone pick it up. They do have many sides. Plus there's tons of references with stones int there, to do with truth and judgement?

Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this one.

Comment is about Truth or Dare (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

I liked the beginning. I was expecting something more symmetrical so was a bit disappointed at these lines
ripples out, wriggling

buffers ragged edges

Maybe "cast a stone"?

I like this verse, especially some of them are true.

a stone has

many sides

some of them

are true

Do stones have many sides, though?

Comment is about Truth or Dare (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks for reading and taking time to comment on fertileland, any encouragement always welcome

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Yeah, that's about right, Steve. Original title was The Post-War Consensus. I like that better.

Comment is about Devaluation (blog)

Hello Greg. Devaluation - it's a poor poem but I was trying to show how ideas and attitudes are absorbed by children, amongst other things. The last 3 lines are the one part of the poem that I'm happy with.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks for commenting on fertileland. Was not sure if it worked so pleased you sussed out what I was trying to say!

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Wot! No interest from men? Does this appeal only to women?

Comment is about Stairlift to Heaven (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hahahah! I hope you have patented this invention!

Comment is about Stairlift to Heaven (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I did enjoy, thank you! Shame you didn't do an audio and sing it! I remember the original song but not well enough to get the tune in my head. I should write a follow up - "Here In Cornwall!" For when the bus breaks down!

Comment is about Here in Devon (blog)

Original item by Jack Pascoe

Congrats Anthony - you won the serendipity comp! You are being very modestly quiet about it! Maybe you are away. You've had lots of nice congrats messages on the blog where it was announced but not on your page it seems so it's possible you don't even know. Well done!! It was a really good poem and a good reading of it too. xx

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

As a general rule I tend not to appreciate rhyming unless used sparingly, but your work seems to fit quite neatly with the world of rhyme, I have to say I love the way you make it seem much more natural, making it seem as if the rhyming is just a coincidence, allowing the poem to flow that little bit easier. Very good.

Comment is about If I Only Had The Words (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Hey up, John, glad you liked Distant Friends. I did do a little tweaking, and hope it reads better, thanks for comment. :)

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Me too, A stop you in your tracks moment. I think the programme transcended both poetry or drama. It WILL become a classic for all the wrong reasons. A totally stunning piece of work.

Comment is about The death of Sophie Lancaster: elegy by Simon Armitage shortlisted for award (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

thanks for comments on 'disgrace' your thoughts appreciated x

Comment is about Mike Hilton (poet profile)

Original item by Mike Hilton

Thank you everyone for your comments, much appreciated.

Yvonne, I understand what you mean about verse. I often find it works better with some poems than others. This originally started out quite quirky, until I decided the subject deserved a more sensitive approach.

John and Dave, I am most interested in your mention of a syllabic tweak. Someone on here once advised using the same amount of beats in each line, which was something I hadn't tried before. So I did try it here, and what do you know, it hasn't worked so well!!
So I have tweaked it now more into my usual format.

Stef, I'm glad you were looking over my shoulder, I don't know how I missed that word, so thanks a lot. xx

Comment is about Distant Friends (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

A lovely poem that easily conjures up images in the mind and there's a great lyrical feel to it too.

Comment is about Coat (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Brilliant packed night at ThePoetry Spoke.

Great Guests, wonderful poetry and music from new readers and fantastic friends.

35 people on the night- absolutely packed to the rafters- A big thx to all who attended;

you make the night!

Quality writing, reading, entertainment and art!

Great Guest Poet set from Graham Robinson and a fantastic music set from Petrova C Fairhurst.

Plus a wonderful notable award winning poem from Stella Jones.

Review is about ThePoetry Spoke on 28 Feb 2012 (event)

Love it! Silly and yet serious in equal measure.

Comment is about I COULDN'T CARE TUPPENCE (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Particularly liked the last two stanzas, but would have liked it to end on some sort of reference to the train
Good work though
congratulations!

Comment is about From a Midnight train (Bolton) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

I enjoyed this too Glyn, An unusual subject to chose and skillfully handled to get your message accross. Worked for me. Win

Comment is about changing a fuse (blog)

Original item by Glyn Pope

I liked this one Tom, Its a type of imagery I have visited myself. From the philosophical end in the burnt palm and true side to the (for me) uncertainty in faith of the start. Houston.

Comment is about Truth or Dare (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Nice......many meanings/thoughts/visions/turns


Mike

Comment is about Truth or Dare (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hiya Graham,

Thanks for your comment on 'Don't take youself so serious'. I decided to change that particular line and make it a bit more jocular. Took out one of the verses as well to make it a bit more universal instead of narrowing it down to just poets, people in other professions take themselves too seriously as well sometimes.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed reading it and i hope you get a chance to look at the new version.

Kind regards,

p.s If we do end up on a plane together, make sure it's not going to America. I don't think the hijack thing goes down too well with American airlines. Some people have no sense of fun eh?

Comment is about Graham Robinson (poet profile)

Original item by Graham Robinson

Hello Ann,

Thanks for your comment on 'Don't take yourself too serious'. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. I've made afew changes to it recently if you want to take a look. Hopefully i've made it a bit more universal in doing so.

I like your samples, very engaging. Especially 'Great North Diver'

Best, Jack

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hey nice one Joy!! Great stuff :)

Comment is about Joy France tours poetry nights to raise charity awareness (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Disturbing, fractured, fragmenting, and that picture scares the shite out of me. My mother dropped me on the head when I was a baby, onto paving stones. Sayin nowt.

Which is to say that I found this a very interesting and provocative write milady.

Comment is about visual cliff (blog)

Really interesting piece this - I like how it's written as well :)

Comment is about Gourds (blog)

Original item by Graham Clifford

equasive/experimeant - I love made up words, I do, and these are great

Preggers test eh? Or that, combined with a IVF?

Comment is about 10 Anti Demagogy (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Hey thanks everyone - appreciate it :)

Phil - what would you change about it? How many more syllables? I've just read through it again and it seems fine to me?

Andy - glad you liked that :)

Comment is about The Jester (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Brilliant, John. Thanks for a good laugh! x

Comment is about Stairlift to Heaven (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hello again Yvonne,

Once again I find myself in awe of your critique, I find all of your comment very encouraging and helpful.
Thank you once again.

Augusta xx

Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

'On the surface this seems a simple recollection of a basic procedure but methinks there is a lot more going on.' and of course you are correct, Steve. As the youngest I lost a lot. I suppose gained more in that I wasn't pressured 'to do well' and I was spoilt because that was the easiest way. But sometimes spoilt children are neglected. My sister ignored them because she was a girl and girl's didn't do men's work. Thanks for your comment Steve.

Comment is about changing a fuse (blog)

Original item by Glyn Pope

Hello and Good Morning to you Andy,

Thank you as always for reading and commenting on my recent posting.

Well, you know Gus he doesn't do 'Good Behaviour' you know what they say Andy about old dog new tricks.

I will give him your regards and best wishes when next we...


...see each other.

Augusta xx

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Hello and good morning John,

I'm a simple person at heart John but must admit to be somewhat confused and amused by your comments and in particular those that elude to Erotica.

Perhaps if your profile pic was a little less
Chippendaleesque I could muster a little more control.

Always hot
Augusta xx

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi Yvonne,
Thanks for commenting on 'Don't take yourself so serious'. I've edited since posting and decided to cut out the expletives and a single verse to make it less confrontational. I feel the message is still there though. Have a look if you fancy.

Regards, Jack

Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Thanks MC,
Decided to take you advice and cut back on the old bad language. I cut a verse out also 'cause i think it sounds better without it i think. Check it out if you want.

Nuff luv 'n' tha'

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hi Lynn.
Good poem on a topical subject
i.e gay marriages etc.
Not keen on on the idea of marriage
being redefined but as you indicate,
we are now living in a crazy,imperfect world.

Might one just point out
in a kindly way that you forgot
to include the word-see-in the second line
third verse."but I could-see-she was quite upset"

Oh yes! we're looking over your shoulder!
haha.xx

Comment is about Distant Friends (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Interesting and thought-provoking, Lynn. Yes it could do with syllabic tweaking as John says but that doesn't really detract. I was talking recently to a friend who went through the other half of this experience (he was the man who left). His take on it in retrospect is that he is amazed now that it took him so long to realise.
To 'crazy' and 'far from perfect' one could perhaps add 'full of surprises', 'complicated' and 'infinitely diverse' but it wouldn't scan then would it.

Comment is about Distant Friends (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Mamkhumza, and Innocentia, DANKI. If you are around HC do visit, you know where to find me. More power to the PEN!

Comment is about Emmanuel Sairosi (poet profile)

Original item by Emmanuel Sairosi

Great stuff. words as with so many tools have the power to create or destroy.love your 'worm weevils' and 'havoc words' Just a thought - how about the power of silence?

Comment is about Slow Bombs (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Ah, at last something to look forward to in my dotage. How did that chorus go again?
You know, John, this is one time when that dreadfully abused acronym LOL really fits the bill X X

Comment is about Stairlift to Heaven (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Hi David, IZIMPONDO ZANKOMO. Many thanks for commenting on this which not surprisingly has drawn opposing views on what I well imagined would be a controversial subject.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hello John, thanks for joining in the discussion on 'IZIMPONDO ZANKOMO' and I take your view entirely about how some aspects of society tend to look back in anger - hence my own cautionary comments, having once had my fingers burned on WOL a while back.

There were many brave soldiers at the event described, but that there was also a privileged elite cannot be denied. So unfair was it that the Commissary who dug them out of a hole was not recognised as he should have been at the time.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Yikes, MC! Keep yer 'and on yer 'apenny!

Comment is about WORDS (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Sorry, Jack. I'll try harder next time.

Comment is about Don't Take Yourself So Serious (blog)

Original item by Jack Pascoe

Thoroughly enjoyed this, Dave. I think it's a Venus and Mars thing but men seem more guilty of nurturing these little weevils by not talking about them, whereas women can't bloody stop!
Smack me in the mouth when you next see me but...
I was less happy with the rhyming end.

Comment is about Slow Bombs (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley