Thank you i will take your comments on board. you are all very kind. More poems to come as i have a mammoth task of rewriting

Fiona

Comment is about Days (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

I am reminded of an out of body story related by a previously cynical surgeon who had operated on a patient who had recounted that experience after a difficult operation. The surgeon in question was happy to go along with his patient's tale but was shocked out of his complacency when the patient described a surgical instrument the surgeon had used - something that the latter had only brought to the operating theatre AFTER the procedures had begun, with the patient anaesthetised - and "out of it". There's more to existence than we know!

Comment is about "Michael Seen Flora" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Powerful stuff that also does justice to other conflicts in which the single human spirit grapples with horrors almost beyond imagining in the struggle to survive and make sense, however remote at that time, of what is being endured. My late father survived the trenches of 1917/18, while a maternal uncle died in action in 1916. They would surely have recognised the content of this poem.

Comment is about Unto the Somme (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

Hi again Shirley - thanks for taking the trouble to read "Dambuster" - and for the kind comment. It was a memorable experience sitting there listening to an actual participant from that legendary WW2 deed. Can you imagine how popular he and his pilot (the American Joe McCarthy) were with the other crew as they kept going around until satisfied that the bomb drop was accurate at that difficult to reach target? The other planes intended to attack that dam didn't do so for various reasons and the target, while damaged, stayed intact. "617" lost fifty three crew (nearly half their number) on that raid on three separate dams. Only recently have Bomber Command got their proper memorial here in Green Park, central London.

Comment is about Shirley Smothers (poet profile)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

It's strange how certain themes seem to cycle simultaneously through the group on WOL, with no apparent connection other than thought waves. Yes, I know DEATH is high on the charts lately with media coverage, but, still, the persistent coincidences are odd.

Comment is about The Candy Train (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you sir, that's very kind of you :)

Comment is about Broken Alone (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

Well, there you have it. I spent a long time on this, trying to adhere with honour to what I thought was the original intent. But I'm not sure. For example, I finally decided that 'death' was personified. If I'm way off track, I'm not quite certain what was intended. I did not use capitals for 'Him', although I think that would be more appropriate. To be honest, I believe this version reads very well. The question is: was this the idea intended?

To Souhad I offer my deepest apologies if this work is in any way annoying. I did not see the 'word for word' translation, and so may be more than one 'idea' away from the original. The intent is very powerful. That is what I tried to capture, and keep, as I perceived it.

Comment is about link

Ms Sinclair, you have power in your way with words, and your sly twists, equally. I find your choices of diction and arrangement suit me well, as I follow the lead of structured rhythm and assonance. If this is the result of instantaneous writing, I'm almost ready to lay down my own quill! The title 'Days' is brutal.

Comment is about Days (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

I like this, John. It reads 'rough' but very sincere. I think, with a little more 'craftsmanship', it would be a gem of both words and emotion. I make this comment only because WOL is a poetry site, encouraging our best quality writing.

I can just hear the howls of 'She's so insensitive!' But not true.

Comment is about "Michael Seen Flora" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I've only done a bedside vigil once in my life and found it deeply harrowing - though I wouldn't have been anywhere else.

Those closest to the dying do go without sleep for what seems to be humanly impossible periods of time and I suppose that could induce delusions - as your father suggested.

I will never forget the dog howling though - at the exact minute of passing over or extinction of life, if you prefer to believe that. It had placed itself well away from the bed and had been silent all night. It does make you wonder what happens that the human eye just can't see.

I liked the way the last verse is open to interpretation.

Comment is about "Michael Seen Flora" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks Martin..I have made those little adjustments and now I think I am happy with it..

Moi melancholy? gerroff! Just a misery guts at times!

:)

Comment is about Richie Muster (poet profile)

Original item by Richie Muster

I have written three replies to this John and have scrubbed them all. I really like the line he didn't quite say what he meant. Aye..bet he didn't, because he wasn't quite sure himself eh?

:)

Comment is about "Michael Seen Flora" (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I see why this is displayed in WW2 RAF squadron's museum.
Powerful and vivid poem.
You are a talented poet.

Shirley

Comment is about DAMBUSTER - dedicated to Sqdn Ldr G.L.Johnson DFC (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Thanks for your thoughts, MC, on "Has Anybody Seen My Little Sarah". Difficult times for dads as their daughters grow up!

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hello Harry,
Many thanks for your comments on "Has Anybody Seen My Little Sarah".
It's not meant to be sad, but I did find coming to terms with 2 girls growing into women challenging as a dad. I seemed to lose touch for a while as they developed interests which excluded me - make-up, boy bands, boys. We do seem to have come back together though as they entered their 20's.

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Yes, absolutely right! Katy

Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)

Original item by Nigel Astell

thank you charlene. it means a lot to have been able to convey that to you. thanks a lot for commenting x

Comment is about go to the woods (relist) (blog)

Original item by Rachel Bond

hey Ian :)

I like the way you read me..pleased you enjoyed this latest offering. :) Feng shui for the soul indeed!

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

is that third line a ref to Youtube?

Comment is about This is Freedom (blog)

Good one Ray - like the rhyme pattern/selection and some dark/humorous turns of phrase
Ian

Comment is about This is Freedom (blog)

Aston Villa/Psycho Killer - heh :D

I winced something chronic at the third line.

Sonically lovely, dry, reflective, and beautifully poetic in parts - the second to last stanza's fab.

Comment is about This is Freedom (blog)

Aww no NEVER would I even fantasise about poisoning the little fella. It's not HIS fault. He's just being a dog, he doesn't know any different, and I DO kind of admire that about him! Trouble is the new neighbours are incredibly loud when they're home, are unable to communicate in less than a bellow, and when they finally go out it would be nice if all was peaceful, but it's not, cos he kicks off then. Ah well - thank god for earplugs.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I like this I love the feeling of detachment it invokes, funny national anthem programs ending for the night now long gone,,,truly we have no cut off point ,maybe in anything anymore.....good work Mr D )

Comment is about Two a.m. (blog)

It's actually really comforting to hear about the specific things that you do, you know :) I totally understand. Certain things can also make me feel really nauseous. Our house is a bit of a tip cos none of us like tidying up, but an overflowing bin or lots of stuff on the kitchen table make me feel physically sick, and I have to get it sorted right away! It is possible to get it under a measure of control, I've done it, but it takes immense self-will and it's incredibly hard work.

Ha - and isn't that the beauty of poetry eh? You'd feel a total loon telling someone about it, but put it down in a poem, and there will always be someone out there who feels the same way :)

Nicely done

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Yeh sounds like you have :) And ha - good to hear of the conversion ;D

Yup, booked for Camp Frack 2, Ravenstonedale, Glastonwick, Wigan Diggers and Nantwich Words and Music so far! Can't wait! Enjoy the rest of your time there - looking forward to more updates.

Comment is about Vive la difference: Tennyson's heirs and Thatcher's children (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks for your supportive comments on my poem about Stephen Lawrence, much appreciated.

Mark

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Oh I very much enjoyed this Ray, clever, and as always interesting.. :)

Comment is about This is Freedom (blog)

I've had a great week, Laura, and hope I've managed to convey what a fine event it has been. There are still a star-studded few more days to go, of course. Big thanks to Anna Saunders and all the rest of the festival organising team. And never thought I'd say this, but following last night's gig and now tonight's - four top performance poets, including Ash Dickinson and Fergus McGonigal - I'm converted to performance poetry! Aren't you booked for one or two festivals yourself later this year?

Comment is about Vive la difference: Tennyson's heirs and Thatcher's children (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

This is brilliant Ian. The words bounce along in a curiously pleasant meter. And always nice to have a little revelation about the whole poem right at the end too! Cheers, David.

Comment is about The Ghost Of Summer (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

another very good poem Fred.xx

Comment is about 21st century maladie (blog)

Not me Harry! Thanks for reading you two. I pointed it out to her- she told me to shut up. But she doesn't know I post here so I'll say what I like.(she's not the boss of me)

Comment is about Wolves (blog)

Original item by Cathy Crabb

Really liked this Frederick... :)

Comment is about 21st century maladie (blog)

Just got to this Ian..and ohh..yeah.. Recognized the symptoms right away as similar to those I worked with. Really annoying not to be able to go out without re-checking things over..

There have been many interesting docs on this subject..I think many of us have a touch of autism (if you can have a touch that is.) But manage to control the desires it amplifies.

Good read sir..

Comment is about Pure O (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Wow Dave..yes hard hitting indeed..but oh so effective too!

Comment is about The Hierarchy of Death (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Thanks for commenting on Hierarchy of Death, Harry. Appreciated as ever. Sad about the Spoke isn't it. Let's hope Chris, Natalie & Glenys can find somewhere else.

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

Laura
I've never really talked to anyone about it - this was my attempt at (clumsily) getting across what a small part of it is like.
I am as frustrated and astounded by my innability to stop doing things as are others who see me do it - for instance:
I keep a huge pile of coins by the bedside and put whatever is in my pockets into the pile on a night - in a morning I take 6 X £1 coins, 5 X 50p, 4 X 20p (see the sequence) etc - and that's all that goes in my pocket.
As a kid (I've let this one go a bit now)I would always break rich tea biscuits into 1/3's - chew and swallow first, suck until gone 2nd and pulp with tongue 3rd - utterly bizzare to me and anyone watching me do it.
It's so difficult to talk to anyone who doesn't do these things because (as with other mental health problems) they simply TELL you to STOP doing it - and you know you should - but you can't :-). I guess you just have to cope with it rather than cure it - but talking to people about it??? NO - don't think so
Ian

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Isobel & Laura
you have both made the most insightful and appropriate comments about this issue (or indeed any issue). No one should be reflecting their agenda against a poet who is making his/her point about a specific issue to them - it's OK to respectfully disagree - but to state another cause as more (or less)valuable than the poets viewpoint is sheer hypocricy - and I know MCN would be outraged if the shoe was on the other foot.
Mark - the poem is insightful, wholly appropriate and extremely well expressed - you should see it as a compliment that it pricks the bubble of bigoted standpoints. A Good 'un
Ian

Comment is about One Of Us - A Stephen Lawrence Tribute (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

Hi Nigel,
Thank you for your comments on my poem "Jimmy Rockford". I have been a fan of James Garner since 1975. No I don't think he still lives in the trailer. LOL!

Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)

Original item by Nigel Astell

Hello M.C.,
Thank you for your kind comments of my poem "Jimmy Rockford". My poem will fade from memory in a few days but your poem "Dambuster" has been read by thousands of people. You have every right to be proud. I also corrected the spelling error. I would never make it as a full time writer. LOL!


Thanks,
Shirley

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

If I'd written a poem about my dead grand mother, whose death had been contributed to by the NHS or by the welfare state or by a faulty gas meter (all imaginary scenarios), I wouldn't expect another poet to be indignant because I hadn't written about what happened to their grand-dad.

We all have a choice over what we write and tit for tat shouldn't come into it when the circumstances are so tragic - else we've really learnt nothing at all.

Comment is about One Of Us - A Stephen Lawrence Tribute (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

Hahaa - mmm interesting take on it, the creativity surges. I suppose so, but tbh, I became so bad with it that it did occupy every single minute of the day and my whole mind.

An example: if I was walking down the road, and scuffed a stone with one part of my foot, I had to replicate that with the other foot but on the EXACT same part of the foot. If there was ANY difference in the symmetrical location, then that second action had then to be replicated on top of the initial replication.

This would often build up into multiple replications, all needing to be done and ticked off in my head. I didn't have time to do anything else after a while, my entire being was consumed by it, and I came to the realisation that it had to stop or I would proper lose it. I was only about 9 or 10 when it hit its full height and had to bring myself out of it. It wasn't allowing me to go off into any kind of other thought process so in that respect it wasn't helpful at all - I do love to daydream!

It was immensely comforting at first though - still can be, when I get it right ;D It just feeds on itself though, which is the bugger.

Apart from us, did you tell anyone else about it? I didn't tell anyone about the symmetry thing until I was in my late 20s.

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Well said Mark, both in your comments and in your poem.

MCN - you ARE coming across as a troll these days, it has to be said. If we were all to take on board your comments, inflammatory or otherwise, then our poems would be 50 foot long and make no point whatsoever, tell no specific tale, just ramble on open-ended taking in case after case after point after point. If that is a critique, it's a shoddy one, and you'd do well to take a bit more care over future ones.

Comment is about One Of Us - A Stephen Lawrence Tribute (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

I am, as I have shown aware of all of those things, they are all in the media. Stephen's case is remarkable, so the coverage it gets is remarkable too.

Why would you choose to keep talking about crimes against white people by black people? I for one have not forgotten any of them. Who says the media is ignoring them? When the anniversaries of those events come up they are regularly raised. How is that significant to the story of Stephen? Were the police righting a wrong by not doing their jobs in this case? If you feel there is poem to be written, remembering these events, do so. I am sure you can find enough supporters of Powell or Mosely who will enjoy your work and you share your views.

Judging by your response you have no idea why this case is remembered above those you mention, or those of over 1400+ people that have died after police contact in the last two decades years.

That is in part why it is important to remember and record. So thank you for further justifying the existence of this poem.

There are, in my opinion no cases on a par with this one in terms of tragedy in the last two decades, because the crimes are compound. An innocent young man is critically injured because of the colour of the skin. The police fail in their duty of care to provide first aid, then obstruct and bungle the investigation, uncovering a flawed system. These are flaws that as young black man who grew up in London at this time I was already all too aware of but which the likes of your you denied at the time and probably continue to deny today.

The poet takes all sorts of opportunities, from the chronicling the major events of history, to moments of transient beauty. I remark on what I deem is important and will continue to do so, you have brought nothing to the discussion of interest so please waste no more of your time here. Express your regrets elsewhere.

Comment is about One Of Us - A Stephen Lawrence Tribute (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

Hi Laura
thanks for commenting on 'pure o' you are clearly someone who understands the condition from your own personal experence. I too have way more than disclosed in the poem including the numbers/alphabet/symetry/order thing - so as Steve has said I'm OCD rather than pure O - but I like the title for what it is rather than as a clinical definition of what I have. Read you earlier work on symetry and loved it - don't you find that there is an angel in the fog with all this though? - because apart from the irritation of the condition it does make me more accurate / precise and throws me into some really creative thinking and situations that I otherwise wouldn't experience. Just a thought :-)
thanks
Ian

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Laura,
Very touching;the sixth stanza brought it all home for me mate,'for the ice and the mould inside every window'.Superb! Btw, cheers for 'two a.m.'comments.

Comment is about Dear Margaret (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Ahhh...I know of JBs poems on here, we've swapped comments a few times in the past, love his stuff. Just watched the youtube clip - aye, very good, an interesting take on it, and love the ending!

Feeling quite envious now Greg - sounds like you're having a poetic ball. Must get my arse there next year.

Comment is about Vive la difference: Tennyson's heirs and Thatcher's children (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Please do me the courtesy of reading my first words "rightly remember" about Stephen Lawrence: but my question - including much else that has happened since, such as the knifing to death of a London schoolteacher protecting a pupil, or the horrendous pursuit and knifing to death of a youth by a young mob in Waterloo Station - goes unanswered. Where IS the outrage and the media pursuit of publicity? Is the Lawrence case in danger of being "beyond comment" for reasons which provide their own questions? If you are so resistant towards a POV seeking an analogy with attitudes to other equally appalling crimes, then I will be happy to oblige your request not to post comment on your contributions...as not worth my time. Righteous resentment loses currency when it ignores so much else that goes unremarked and then takes issue with being reminded that it does. I live in the real world in which saving a life or two is within my own personal experience and will take no lectures on the value of human life from the sidelines. The poet has the opportunity to remark on what goes unremarked - and can perform a valuable function in addressing perceived wrongs for those who OTHERWISE would be ignored, forgotten or abandoned. You have the right to write your stuff about a very well-known case, and I have the right to regret the public/media failure to remember others - and wonder why?

Comment is about One Of Us - A Stephen Lawrence Tribute (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

I like this - simple, but hard-hitting. Really like the last two lines.

Comment is about The Hierarchy of Death (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Ah - been there, but only the drink part, not the cancer.

A survivor's story. Thanks for sharing.

Comment is about Days (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

Ha - good one Ian! With me it's an obsession with symmetry :)(in EVERY aspect of my life). I fought with it as a child for years, it consumed my every waking minute but I managed to get it under control thanks to immense self-will. It never really goes away though - the urges are still there. Every now and again, as a treat, I indulge myself and have half an hour or so of lovely symmetry :D

Still do the whole alphabetising thing though, and when I used to have a car that didn't lock manually, would lock and unlock it a stupid number of times!!

Just found the poem I wrote about it - it was one of the first things I put on here!

http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=16523

Comment is about Pure O (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley