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THE SMALL HOURS (re-post).

A thirst for sleep I cannot slake
finds me at four a.m. awake
not napping in a lapping breeze
that whispers in the lilting trees
and bellies curtains into sails.
Habitually when slumber fails
I will drill those errant lines
that won’t succumb to my designs
and if I’m lucky by the time the
sheets are cold a stubborn rhyme
will nestle in a simple scheme and
make those sleepless hours seem
a boon. Of course, it’s just a ruse;
a metric trick I often use
to pen my worries in; like sheep,
that graze the weaker seams of sleep.

◄ FLAMING JUNE.

FREQUENCIES. ►

Comments

Travis Brow

Thu 10th Jul 2014 15:35

Thank you Natalie, you're very kind. I'm gald to hear you've read it aloud - that's by far the best way.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 7th Jul 2014 16:37

Lines 'equal in length' regardless of rhyme pattern is a different idea; but I don't pack a pistil.

Travis Brow

Thu 3rd Jul 2014 06:21

Thank you both for your comments. I admit that often, i'll leave a word on the end of one line that should, by rights, start the following line - i do this merely because i like a poem's lines to appear roughly equal in length; it's an aesthetic urge which isn't strictly in keeping with literary standards, but no-one's going to shoot me for it.
I am grateful for all your comments though - they certainly help to focus the mind.

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 2nd Jul 2014 21:15

Travis,
I `messed` with the lines 9,10,11,12:

If I`m lucky by the time
Sheets are cold a stubborn rhyme,
Nestling in a a simple scheme,
Will make those sleepless hours seem

Thinking that it would help Cynthia`s `clippity
clop`...It doesn`t. Your slightly strange way
of end-lining the `the` and `and` works better.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 2nd Jul 2014 12:02

Skipping along on 'lapping' and 'lilting' the idea takes over with great aplomb, and some very good rhyming, not to mention the clippity-cloppity metre kept severely 'in line'. I really enjoyed this. The last four lines are super.

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