**I wrote this one morning after waking up and looking at my reflection in the mirror. I just looked so tired and weary and haggard. I don't even remember what I did the day before or if something upset me or if things were normal, but that morning when I saw myself, all these feeling came to the surface and this poem is the result of putting them on paper**

I hate those days when you look how you feel,
Tired,
Beaten,
And on the verge of falling over screaming at any given moment because life has pushed you one too many times
And your will to fight back died 2 months ago

Mask chipping a little more everyday
Until the real you is exposed instead of hidden safely away
From all the critical eyes and sharp words others pierce you with so carelessly

I hate that it still gets to me
Hate that that fragile part of me managed to escape the great purge of my emotions 3 years ago
Never getting stronger
Can't seem to ever heal
That useless part of me that refuses to die
And forces me to care
Scares
The hell out of me

Hate being weak and pathetic
Wonder sometimes if it would be easier if I could just be a psychopath
Uncaring
Unremorseful
And bold
Adjectives I would be perfectly content with

Heart as hard as an iceberg
I want to be numb
Stay safe
And warm in the comfort of my mind until I have the time
And the chance

To get a good night sleep,
Wake up well rested
looking,
And feeling
Happy