Hello George,
Glad you enjoyed "Your First Hut is the Cheapest" and "Ikea". As you may have noticed I don't write much that is "worthy" but I do have several rather irreverent song parodies posted on the site.
Comment is about George Stanworth (poet profile)
Original item by George Stanworth
Hello RM,
Glad you liked my latest contribution to the cultural and literary encyclopaedia of sheds entitled, "Your First Hut is the Cheapest".
Comment is about Richie Muster (poet profile)
Original item by Richie Muster
hello Yvonne,
Glad you liked "Your First Hut is the Cheapest". Sheds seem to provide me with a lot of my inspiration, perhaps because I spend a lot of time in them doing nothing.
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Hello Lynn,
Thanks for commenting on "Your First Hut is the Cheapest". As it happens, my first hut is nearly 30 years old and is still going strong.
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Hello Ian,
Glad you liked "Your First Hut is the Cheapest".
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Hello Isobel,
Glad you liked "Your First Hut is the Cheapest".
I'm not much cop at "whole songs" because I'm not very melodically minded. The words come quite easily but I struggle with original tunes.
I did co-write a "serious" one for our village school which the kids do several times a year at various occasions (which is quite pleasing).
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=29354
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
hello Greg,
Glad you liked "Your First Hut is the Cheapest". My own favourite is PP Arnold's although Sheryl Crowe does a good one. Of course, nobody could have done them without the genius of Cat Stevens.
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Hello Tim,
Glad you liked "Your First Hut is the Cheapest". When I next get to PPP maybe I'll give it a go.
Comment is about Tim Ellis (poet profile)
Original item by Tim Ellis
Isobel Good `un!
I like the way the combination of the bulk of the whale plus the weight of the water and the resistance of the `push and pull` of the moon induced tides makes the whole thing so
strivingly heavy.
Also the way the body of the poem saps the sympathy out of the title`s` lonely` and satirises it.
Plus the neat little rhymed finisher.
Come to think of it, that `flat earth` `universal truth` and (slightly) religious connotation of`looking for the fall`, added to the upper-cased`NOTHING` could open the whole thing up to a robustly atheistic interpretation...(I`m wafflin`)
I`ve always thought that those great big hulkin` brutes were well big enough to save themselves.
Comment is about The Lonely Whale (blog)
Original item by Isobel
thanks for the comments and suggestions on 'noticed' Harry. The use of those 'eerie' words early on were deliberate, as I wanted to get across that this guy has lived the life of a ghost while he was alive - and wasn't noticed - it was only when he died that he became 'real'. You are, as usual, very perceptive and I totally get the idea that I could have built more tension at the end of the poem by using more neutral words early on and saving the sinister for later - so I guess I got caught between two stools of trying to get an eerie pay off against trying to get a subtle characterisation.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment
much appreciated
Ian
Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
A clever adaption of a Villanelle-type style to get the intervolved connected `run` of the `story` of this (direct address) poem.
The lines about the wife are deadly, and the `story` is told clearly.
(I`m not sure if I`m right but - feeling that the `eerie` punch of the poem is from the line:`Look for me when the hour is getting late` I think that the words, `ghost` `ethereal` `chill` and `tomb` would be more omminously fitted into the last three stanzas than in the early `not noticed` section and replaced by annonymous words.)
Refreshingly clear and rhythmic poem.
Comment is about Noticed (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
thanks for the comment on 'deadly nightshade' Yvonne - yes, I liked the single line ending, which turns it from what appears to be a love poem into something more sinister - nice that you picked that up
cheers
Ian
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
thanks f your comments on 'that which autumn....' harry, the short story wot i rote is very image rich and touches more on the background of the characters - it always read to me as though it could be condensed into a narrative poem and i enjoyed the exercise - cheers
Ian
Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Thanks for the comment on The Trainers poem, Ian. My wife thinks I was on something when I wrote that one - still you have to go where the muse takes you!
Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
WOW! great poem Isobel - it's a shame you can't enter your own competition because this would have been very difficult to beat. Beautiful, haunting - lovely stuff
Ian
Comment is about The Lonely Whale (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Good stuff Katy - the opening line, inparticular, is a killer
Ian
Comment is about The Oak Tree III (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan
Yvonne,
I know this one`s about me, but It`s no use postin` these little praise-poem tributes up to try and get round me.
I still don`t forgive you for preferrin` that young guitar - playin` troubador.
Comment is about Old Age (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Many thanks harry, i think the endings have become something of a trademark.
Marcus
Comment is about Marcus Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by Marcus Cooke
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sun 19th May 2013 11:26
enjoyed this poem Paul,very much.x
Comment is about Good Morning, Good Morning (blog)
Original item by Paul Sands
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sun 19th May 2013 11:23
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sun 19th May 2013 11:20
yep,agree with P&S comments(respectfully)x
Comment is about When Obama goes to bed (blog)
Original item by Wez Jefferies
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sun 19th May 2013 11:17
made my sunday
start with a share
in your chucklings
Comment is about Parking (blog)
Original item by Dorinda MacDowell
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sun 19th May 2013 11:15
cannot believe this beautiful poem
is without other comments Katy.
Please keep them coming.x
Comment is about The Oak Tree III (blog)
Original item by Katy Megan
Thanks for commenting on my poem Yvonne. x
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Yes - because the reason you went may not be there by the time you get there :)
Nice springy rhythm!
Comment is about Old Age (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
True heros who knew the likelihood of returning safely was limited but never shirked from their epic task. well done.
Comment is about DAMBUSTER (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
All you've got to. Do now, yvonne, is to remember what you went into the bathroom for.
Comment is about Old Age (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
great stuff. i love the idea of last night's ghosts scurrying home and the lazy cat. Then comes the abrupt disturbance of the peace by the LGV - a great contrast and the whole poem woven seamlessly together by the cat's comment - delicious!
( I half expected the response to the question to be - 'fertilised')
Comment is about Good Morning, Good Morning (blog)
Original item by Paul Sands
Nice one Dorinda. I love the fun that can be had with poorly worded or punctuated signs. I regularly see one that states Free range chickens. I'm not sure what a range chicken looks like, but if they are free I'll have one!
Comment is about Parking (blog)
Original item by Dorinda MacDowell
I really like this Isobel, especially after all the information about 52 Hertz. xx
Comment is about The Lonely Whale (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Thank you. It was wake up, scribble, move, scribble this morning
Comment is about Good Morning, Good Morning (blog)
Original item by Paul Sands
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sat 18th May 2013 17:51
very much enjoyed,with one exception-
the last stanza needed a tad more work IOHO.xx
Comment is about When Obama goes to bed (blog)
Original item by Wez Jefferies
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sat 18th May 2013 17:46
nothing scrambled
about this very,very,good poem.xx
Comment is about Good Morning, Good Morning (blog)
Original item by Paul Sands
<Deleted User> (6895)
Sat 18th May 2013 17:43
Thanks Greg, a really good little film, well produced; and certainly recognisable by many of our members and event organisers.
Comment is about Poetry and all that jazz: Birmingham's Sunday Xpress at Adam & Eve (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Harry
it's all relative - to soft southerners it's cold - to hardy yorkshiremen it's 'cracking't pavements' :-)
Comment is about Filey (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
I think every street at some point has had such a woman counted amongst their number...kinda makes me feel angry and sad for her at the same time...
When we were kids,if our ball went into Miss ashurst's garden,it was always a matter of life and death to be brave enough to try to get it back.
The first stanza is very telling and very strong for me,but it's all excellent Ian.
Nice one.
Comment is about Eyrie Avenue (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
Yes...nice,twisted little poem Ian...'they will open their doors wide,on their caravan of collected souls...and I will step inside'
Spooky indeed!
Comment is about That Which Autumn Leaves (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
I`m glad you spoke about stories Ian, That`s the way this strikes me - halfway between a poem and a story.
(Mind, you`ve got to give the kids in it lean and eerily white faces)
Comment is about That Which Autumn Leaves (blog)
Original item by Ian Whiteley
John,
Next time I`m in the neighborhood it`s a must.
(but why is it always so bloody cold up there?)
Comment is about Filey (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Marcus,
I like the way your last lines (aptly) finish off your poems.
Keep `em comin`
Comment is about Marcus Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by Marcus Cooke
I have no trouble with the concept that the devil is something very real - you only have to watch the news to realise that this is so, with child killers an almost daily occurrence :-(
Comment is about in the dark for ages. (blog)
Original item by SPACEGHOST
profound statement something i struggle with all the time.
Comment is about in the dark for ages. (blog)
Original item by SPACEGHOST
PS. IMHO You should take out 'that' at the end of the last line or beginning of second....
Comment is about in the dark for ages. (blog)
Original item by SPACEGHOST
That's interesting. I wonder why the devil would be 'something' rather than 'someone'. I suppose it depends on the concept of God too. The fact that evil exists is a problem for the monotheistc religions, since they insist God is good and all powerful. It follows from this that god has a responsibility for evil. For me one of the major character flaws of Jesus (and there are many) was his conviction that the devil and hell were real. We'll those three lines made me go on a bit!
Comment is about in the dark for ages. (blog)
Original item by SPACEGHOST
Filey - the holiday of my youth :-)
used to stay in a a carvan park and be on the beach by 8 am playing cricket and football. It was a cheap holiday for my parents as we were only 60 miles or so away in Wakefield.
Also stayed at Flamborough head in a caravan - where it always seemed to be foggy and the lighthouse boomed out a fog warning every minute which kept you awake all night.
You've captured the essence of Filey very well in your Poem John - and it's made me nostalgic to vist - may have to do the long trek across t'Pennines this summer and check it out :-)
Comment is about Filey (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thank you all for the supportive comments. Uschi and Kate, you are not registered on the site, which is fine, but means I don't have your email addresses to keep in touch over using the wiki. Can you either register - you will need to to experiment with the wiki - or contact me via info@writeoutloud.net? Thanks, danke schon, merci.
Comment is about Mad experiment on Write Out Loud – translating poems online! (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Yvonne Brunton
Sun 19th May 2013 23:25
Lovely idea well executed. I like the last verse where you are imitating the bird.
Comment is about Garrulus Glandarius (blog)
Original item by STEVE RUDD