Travis Brow

Thu 25th Sep 2014 15:33

You're right on the money Natalie - that's exactly what i was thinking, but then i started thinking it seemed a little dismissive. Still, as you and Dom think the title's good enough, i'll leave it as it is. Thank you both for your responses.

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Dominic James

Thu 25th Sep 2014 14:12

I think shelved is okay. It has meanings within meanings...as Natalie points out. Don't make me rack my brain!

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Andy N

Thu 25th Sep 2014 12:55

missed that in the pm i sent the other day, but thanks Nigel for posting her email address.

I have actually just wrote Boat Story II (which i will read out next month) so will get all three of my poetry over to her asap

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Travis Brow

Thu 25th Sep 2014 12:21

Thanks Daniel, adequate rather than perfect i would say - speaking for myself and of my own output, there's almost always room for improvement.
Have you gigged lately?

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Ged the Poet

Thu 25th Sep 2014 12:03

Another snapshot offering a window of imagination to the reader and a want for more of the story. Your work is very deep Tommy and I like it very much. The photographs also enhance your writing. I see the reflection of the light above the tree line on a cold rainy day from the train window as a beacon of hope. There is a light that will never go out. (I hope you know what I mean without sounding soft).
Nice one Tommy.

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Ged the Poet

Thu 25th Sep 2014 11:55

M.C. Thank you for your very kind and articulate words on 'The Local Parkie'. I am so glad someone saw the analogy of the innermost anger in queuing up by the abandoned Dunkirk veterans. (I know they would have rather been in the queue than trying to hold of the might of the Wehrmacht as the Kings Royal Rifle Corps and the Rifle Brigade had to do).
The Parkies' were always firm but fair and in those days knowing right from wrong was the 'norm'.
Thank you.

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Thu 25th Sep 2014 11:47

Kassandra you don't need the end of the world to 'slurp all night long'. ;) Tommy

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Ged the Poet

Thu 25th Sep 2014 11:38

This is more than fine Andy. It is absolutely perfect. Shelved is spot on for me... but I would never suggest changing perfection.

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Ged the Poet

Thu 25th Sep 2014 11:30

'Forever is only for today
And tomorrows black
is just a paler shade of grey'
It is still amazing how the forces of nature can influence the mood of the human mind.
The autumnal equinox and Goretex have a lot to answer for Martin.

Comment is about It's raining (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Ged the Poet

Thu 25th Sep 2014 11:25

A wonderful piece of work that could open "Doors" and "lights my (poetical)fire". A most elequent work where even Marcel Marceau could work in the most silence of silences. Absolutely suberb David.... and i must play some Chopin after this.

Comment is about In Père Lachaise Cemetery (blog)

Original item by David Cooke

<Deleted User> (5592)

Thu 25th Sep 2014 08:59

Greg,

A fine write-up of a great show. Do recommend anyone visiting the South Bank goes to see it, (it's on the same level, in RFH as the riverside walkway).


Comment is about Lights on: Koestler Trust puts poetry and artworks from prisoners on show (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Travis Brow

Thu 25th Sep 2014 06:44

Thank you Dom, thank you Natalie, thank you M.C. I've been inadvertently clocking borrowed books on my shelves for years but it's odd the way one glance leads to a poem, when a hundred others never did.
I was thinking of changing the title to Chapters, as in 'periods of a life'. I'd appreciate your views.
Thanks again, your comments are most heartening.

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Preeti Sinha

Thu 25th Sep 2014 03:51

Sure

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Kassandra

Wed 24th Sep 2014 20:54

Thank guys!

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haridas7499

Wed 24th Sep 2014 20:54

wow grt linda at first i didn't got the rythem when i gone through the comments i got it for each word i created a facial expression and there i feel d wow grt yar. good concept i will also try one like this...very nice linda .......

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Original item by Linda Cosgriff

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Kassandra

Wed 24th Sep 2014 20:52

Thanks guys!

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Original item by Kassandra Morris

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haridas7499

Wed 24th Sep 2014 20:37

the way u compared i liked it. me to do like this that's y oo and that moon was sweet any way u write good ......hari das

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Original item by Kassandra Morris

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haridas7499

Wed 24th Sep 2014 20:31

hmmm nice work fried heart hahaha

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 24th Sep 2014 19:26

A fine example of "less is more".
Expertly constructed, it leaves the mind dwelling
on the unusual way it uses human contact in a
literary analogy.

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Wed 24th Sep 2014 19:08

...I'll get my coat.

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 24th Sep 2014 16:41

I like it. The thistle and the thorn of the
wider historical antipathy set against the
more personal evocation of the individual
attributes that emphasise what links our two lands and their human qualities to common advantage.

Comment is about 'A thistle can draw blood': Carol Ann Duffy on the Scottish independence verdict (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 24th Sep 2014 16:16

A delightful little tribute to the legions who
kept society in a better state than now.
I particularly like the analogy of the terror of
waiting for rescue under fire at Dunkirk with
queuing making the older man narky.

Comment is about THE LOCAL PARKIE (blog)

Original item by Daniel Dwyran

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Isobel

Wed 24th Sep 2014 15:09

I'd agree with Steve - poetry that can do that is rather special - it's kind of reaffirming - now point me and mine in the direction of that dungeon! ;

Comment is about Eastnor Castle Easter Monday (blog)

Original item by Ray Miller

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Isobel

Wed 24th Sep 2014 15:01

Mmmm - the more I read it, the more I like it. I think some poems are like that. On first reading they can be very easy to discount as 'too easy' or having no value.

Now I'm struck by the pathos and the poignancy of the last few lines. The gift of giving flowers from bloodied hands. We can both hurt each other - but there is still love in the mix.

Comment is about 'A thistle can draw blood': Carol Ann Duffy on the Scottish independence verdict (article)

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Dominic James

Wed 24th Sep 2014 14:52

Good work Andy, Laura's reaction same as mine of course: part of the process. It's all there.

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Dominic James

Wed 24th Sep 2014 14:46

I am reminded of the Red Rose and the Briar, which is a beautiful figure, but this, bloody border? It has sense though, it sounds okay, quite good. ach.

Comment is about 'A thistle can draw blood': Carol Ann Duffy on the Scottish independence verdict (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Preeti Sinha

Wed 24th Sep 2014 10:56

Thanks Steve

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Travis Brow

Wed 24th Sep 2014 10:37

Thank you Laura, thank you Steve,most kind. I'll endeavour to get them back to you asap Laura...

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Laura Taylor

Wed 24th Sep 2014 09:18

As said on FB - this gave me proper shivers!! When I looked initially at this photo, I couldn't think of anything. It's always a wonder what other people can pull out of their imaginations. Love how you've turned it into a living thing, and a tremendously scary living thing at that!

Great poem.

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Original item by Ian Whiteley

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Laura Taylor

Wed 24th Sep 2014 09:10

Oh - so it's YOU that's got all those books I can't find then! ;)

I love this little poem. A huge amount said in so few words.

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Isobel

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 21:25

Well I liked it. It's relevant to our times - it makes you think and I like the analogies. The whole devolution thing HAS been a painful process causing hurt on both sides of the border, a border that doesn't exist for nature, or for poets...

I think she pretty much nails that thought

Comment is about 'A thistle can draw blood': Carol Ann Duffy on the Scottish independence verdict (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Jon

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 18:49

Really enjoyed this and it's insightfulness.

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Original item by Tom

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 17:46

Hello Roberta,

Welcome to Write Out Loud, we hope you have a good time exploring the site. We're really looking forward to reading some of your work and I know that you’ll get a warm welcome from the other WOL-ers too.

It would be great if you could upload a picture of yourself, it’s really good to see what our fellow poets look like.

Have a good browse around, there’s work here on virtually any subject and there’s always lots going on. If you have the time to make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free to do so, it’s often the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.

If you experience any technical problems there’s usually somebody who’ll help you out so just ask and someone will get back to you reasonably swiftly.

WOL is a friendly, creative and unassuming place, so welcome from all of us once again.

Graham @ the Write Out Loud Team.

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John Coopey

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 13:39

Thanks for your kind comments, Daniel. But truly, I aspire to the three chords of the Quo.

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Ged the Poet

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 12:39

Another cracker John... and more chords than the real Status Quo :)
I really enjoy your jovial and musical masterpieces. Nice one.

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Original item by John Coopey

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Ged the Poet

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 12:34

Very descriptive indeed..
'Icy mint chocolate chip melting down waffle cones onto sticky giggles'

'Where schedules are unnecessary and a wristwatch is a superfluous tool'

Leave your watch and cellphone behind... and ice cream to die for. Magic.

Comment is about Lillie's Coffee Bar (blog)

Original item by Candice Reineke

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Ged the Poet

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 12:22

Hi Will
I have just come across this thanks to a previous comment and checked out your sample poem 73.831776% Bullshit.
Very clever indeed. Love the spoken/rap/spoken parody. I'm all for a very clever 'lampoon'.. it's not really Bullshit... it is class. Brilliant!

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Original item by Will Ford

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Ged the Poet

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 12:10

Thanks very much for your very kind words Martin on Where Donkeys' Poo and The Local Parkie. I'm glad you get and understand these down to earth and local observations. I know what you mean about the old Parkies.. very brave riding your bike on the grass mate! ;)

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Greg Freeman

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 10:16

Hi Steve, good to hear from you, and thanks! This is from the blurb that I've been working on ..."a fondness for early 1960s black and white films set in the north of England, with factory hooters sounding and a steam train whistling in the distance. He writes poems about Beeching, Betjeman, canals in the 1970s, newspapers in the days of hot metal, post-industrial Britain, characters that can’t shake off the past." I guess that answers your question!

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Dominic James

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 07:58

Yep. Can anyone point out any merit in this poem? I'd like to think I've missed somewhen.

Comment is about 'A thistle can draw blood': Carol Ann Duffy on the Scottish independence verdict (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Candice Reineke

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 02:47

"The sepia photograph on the wall Reflects all and nothing of The young figures who try not to smile"...lovely description and overall beautiful piece. Makes me wonder, around which decade did it become acceptable to smile in photos?

Comment is about memory (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Candice Reineke

Tue 23rd Sep 2014 02:35

Martin, thanks so much for your compliment on "Lillie's Coffee Bar" :)

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 23:14

Hello Shirley May. I hear you're having problems changing your info on the profile page.
What you need to do is sign into the WOL site then from the top of the home page go to My Profile.
When you get to your profile click on the Edit Profile link which will open the previous entry and allow you to delete it and then add new stuff. Remember when you have finished to press save!

Regards, Graham

Comment is about Shirley May (poet profile)

Original item by Shirley May

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Martin Elder

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 22:24

Reminds me of when I was kid, cycling across the local park I got a sound telling off. Now days nobody seems to worry.
Good one Daniel

Comment is about THE LOCAL PARKIE (blog)

Original item by Daniel Dwyran

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Ged the Poet

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 21:32

On Sunday 21st September 2014, as the autumnal equinox made its presence felt, the last event this year at the Brooklyn came to a close.
It has been said that one of the Beckham children was named after a special place where he was conceived. Having said that, upstairs at the Brooklyn is a wonderful venue for WOL Bolton... and David did play just down the road!
A Joseph Holt's hostelry with more than ample off road parking within it's grounds was a fitting venue for a thoroughly enjoyable evening.
This was the first Write Out Loud event I had ever attended and it did not dissapoint.
It was compared by the genial Jefferama throughout, a man called Roy, Jeff himself, Dave Morgan, Val Cook, Gus Jonsson, Potting-shed Pete, Scott Devon, each contributed a standard of artistic and poetic licence on a cross-section of life and acute observation. Two songs from the lyrically gifted Paul Blackburn still had me giggling on my journey home. A thoroughly enjoyable evening of which I would recommend when it starts again in April 2015.
One for your future diary whether novice or natural.
A great night indeed.

Comment is about Bolton WriteOutLoud @ Bolton Socialist Club (group profile)

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Ian Whiteley

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 19:30

thanks for the comment on 'snipers' Dave - glad you liked it - sorry for slow response, been really hectic since I got back from holidays - but starting to clear some circulation space at last - so in catch up mode - thought I might see you at the Tudor last week - it was quiet. Diggers was OK - not my best, but hey ho :-)

Comment is about Dave Carr (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Carr

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Ian Whiteley

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 19:28

thanks for the comments about 'snipers' Laura - and you're right about the punctuation - there wasn't meant to be any - but sometimes they slip in due to habit - I'll edit before it goes in any collection ;-) cheers

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Ian Whiteley

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 19:27

Thanks for the kind feedback on 'snipers' david - I'm in catch up mode as usual - so aplogies for the slow response - hopefully will get back into general circulation once the CD gets out - I forget how time consuming graphic design can be :-) thanks as always

Comment is about David Blake (poet profile)

Original item by David Blake

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Ian Whiteley

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 19:25

thaNKS FOR THE KIND COMMENT ON 'SNIPERS' aNDY - SORRY I've BEEN SLOW IN RESPONDING - NOT BEEN ON wol MUCH SINCE HOLIDAY - I was telling Jeff I enjoyed your spot at Diggers - some really effective words and music combinations - cheers mate

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

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Ian Whiteley

Mon 22nd Sep 2014 19:23

thanks for your kind comment on 'snipers' Tommy - I'm in catch up mode again (as usual) so sorry for not responding sooner - glad you liked it mate

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Original item by Tommy Carroll

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