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Stu Buck

Tue 21st Feb 2017 11:09

excellent as usual cynthia. myriad filigree really is stunning. i myself just wrote about a crow but i promise i read this after, i am not in anyway shimmying in to your crow-territory!

Comment is about OOPS! (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Stu Buck

Tue 21st Feb 2017 11:05

i love this, the way it is set out, the thick, heady imagery, the historical theme and the excellent last lines.

Comment is about Aflame (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

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Stu Buck

Tue 21st Feb 2017 11:05

like this a lot. i really think diners and dreams are two of my favourite subjects when it comes to writing, especially after mulholland drive and twin peaks brought both together so brilliantly.

Comment is about last night's dream (blog)

Original item by Melissa Gentile

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 21st Feb 2017 09:41

Melissa, that last line gathers all the others together and makes sense of it all. Very clever.

Comment is about untitled (blog)

Original item by Melissa Gentile

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 21st Feb 2017 09:31

fine writing Suki - I come to this a little late but all the more better off for reading yours and David's comments. I very much like the way you have structured this. Cheers, Col.

Comment is about Noblesse Oblige Cocoon (blog)

Original item by Suki Spangles

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 21st Feb 2017 09:21

that's a very good introduction. Welcome!

Comment is about An Introduction (blog)

Original item by El Thomas

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 21st Feb 2017 09:19

Thanks for posting this poem Alem. It highlights a terrible situation all over the world but especially in poorer nations where the environment has come under such intense pressure from the activities of man. Madagascar is a case in point where there has been huge environmental damage. The UK based charity Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust has been working to restore habitat and educate locals in sustainable fishing and farming practices in order to help save the incredibly rare Madagascan pochard which survives in just a few remote lakes in the north of the country. Our appetite for destruction makes me weep.

http://www.wwt.org.uk/conservation/wwt-projects/saving-the-madgascar-pochard/

Comment is about A lake's obituary (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 21st Feb 2017 09:10

Good stuff Trevor - from the first line which mimics that of Sgt Pepper to the last which gives their Apple a mention.

Enjoyed your comment Paul. My first vinyls were bought in the Rediffusion shop on the High Street which had a small record section at the back of the store. How times have changed. Hope you've recovered from your attack of nostalgia.

Thanks for posting Trevor.

Comment is about Fifty Years Ago (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 21st Feb 2017 08:51

I enjoyed reading this Chris. 'It seems half Europe has come this way' nicely sums up so much about modern travel and tourism although I get the context of pilgrimage over the ages too. But nevertheless, the reward can seem insignificant when crammed together with half of humanity from the airport check-in to the final destination, all camera clicking and selfie taking and ultimately unaware of why they have made the journey if indeed there ever was a purpose.

On a different note, when I write I often ponder whether or not to use shortened versions like 'I'm' or to write out the full 'I am'. 'I'm' is softer and lends itself more to the spoken word or conversational style of prose. 'I am' is a statement and comes across more positive and certain. I think in this poem I would have written 'I am' as both instances are definite statements if that makes sense? I wonder what you think Chris? I'm certainly no academic expert on English usage but keen to learn.

Thanks for posting this poem. Your style of writing is gentle and thoughtful and very readable. All the best, Colin

Comment is about Saint James of the Field of Stars (blog)

Original item by Chris Hubbard

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 21st Feb 2017 07:58

I like this Juan but could you explain Queen B for me? I'm pretty sure I've got your meaning but I would be interested nonetheless. Thanks, Colin

Comment is about Aflame (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

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suki spangles

Tue 21st Feb 2017 05:14

Well I laughed too when I read that Keith Richards fell out of a tree a couple of years ago. Remember that?

Nice poem.

Suki

Comment is about OOPS! (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Paul Waring

Tue 21st Feb 2017 04:47

Thank you all for reading and commenting. Some very interesting comments and interpretations, I must say.

This poem reflects my love of David Attenborough programmes about how animals (n.b. elP, not humans) stalk and kill their prey. This gave me the idea to explore how, as human beings, we become so frustrated about being deceived/cheated/lied to/kept in the dark, etc to the point where we can't 'beat around the bush' any more, and so might assertively confront a partner, family member, friend, co-worker, politician or organisation in an attempt to seek the truth.

So, thanks John, Colin and Suki, I really enjoyed reading your takes on this piece. And Col, on Sunday I completed a piece with reference to Eros and Cupid - amazing coincidence!

elP, this poem is not about cannabalism and I'm struggling to understand the rest of your comments, even after reading them several times. But thank you nevertheless for your observations.

Paul

Comment is about The Heart Of The Matter (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Seth Trenton

Tue 21st Feb 2017 03:01

Thank you Juan, your words are much appreciated.

That line originally was the first line and even the title of the entry itself, however I felt moving it to the bottom and leaving the entry untitled made more of an impact.

I'm happy to hear someone liked it, makes me want to write more.

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Melissa Gentile

Tue 21st Feb 2017 02:48

thank you ?

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 21st Feb 2017 02:10

Love that last line...the whole poem too but that last line was awesome

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Original item by Seth Trenton

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 21st Feb 2017 02:08

That last line was quite interesting..Really enjoyed this poem as well.

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Melissa Gentile

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 21st Feb 2017 02:07

This sounds like the story of a mad pregnant woman with an alcoholic partner gone awry...Untitled seems like a good name for this poem...Thanks for sharing

Comment is about untitled (blog)

Original item by Melissa Gentile

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suki spangles

Tue 21st Feb 2017 01:18

Hi David,

This poem was in based, and part inspired by something an ex girlfriend told me about how, when she was younger, an abusive partner of hers used to buy her a box of chocolates or give her some cash as a way of saying "sorry".

Also, its about the way fear can hold people prisoner, because their self esteem becomes non existent, leaving them perpetually trapped. The danger of normalizing such behaviour, like you say, is often there. Luckily in her case, she left.

SS

Comment is about Noblesse Oblige Cocoon (blog)

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Paul Waring

Mon 20th Feb 2017 21:56

Trevor, this is, for me, a lovely walk down memory lane. As a 10-year old I saw Foinavon win the National (I lived only a few miles from Aintree), watched Sandie Shaw win Eurovision, and listened avidly to Sgt Peppers (my Dad used to manage Nems/Rumbelows record shops and used to take me to work with him in the school holidays). I simply couldn't wait each week for Top of the Pops and the music charts! Those were the days ?

I suddenly feel very nostalgic!

Cheers, Trevor, I enjoyed this very much.

Paul

Comment is about Fifty Years Ago (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

Seth Trenton

Mon 20th Feb 2017 20:37

Dedicated to the love of my life, who asked me to write her something for Valentine's day

Comment is about Hope (blog)

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Harry O'Neill

Mon 20th Feb 2017 20:01

A very effective use of the villanelle Jan

I like the way that - although they are becalmed - the robustness, the `religious` reaction to the danger, and the
imagined `backstory` of the victims is `managed` and
brought together by the repetitiveness of the form.

A very impressive use.

Comment is about Weary souls (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

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Emer Ni Chorra

Mon 20th Feb 2017 18:49

I like the flow of this one.. I was born in the eighties yet listen to a lot of sixties and seventies music. Good music never goes out of style Trevor ?

Comment is about Fifty Years Ago (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

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Julian (Admin)

Mon 20th Feb 2017 17:44

Shades of the beats in this, Chris. I love the rhythm to it and the stream of consciousness style of it, riffing on the urban landscape like an Oz Howl.

I love that it has come, fremantling its way from Western Australia. Excellent!

Are you aware of the long-standing open-floor poetry night in Perth that has been listed on our website for several years now: https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/eventview.php?day=04&month=03&year=2017&eventID=6026

Perhaps you could go to the night, read your poetry there AND write us a report about the evening? It is the only antipodean poetry night on our famous poetry gig guide, all alone there near the coming together of the Indian and Southern Oceans.

Comment is about 'Lost' by Chris Hubbard is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Laura Taylor

Mon 20th Feb 2017 16:46

Thank you very much David. It was worth getting up early to get there - no people around to put me off! Yeh, I quite like that you can hear the M62 traffic and birdsong when it pans away ?

Cheers, appreciate your comments.

Comment is about revelations - film (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 20th Feb 2017 13:25

This covers so much ground, but your skill of isolating disparate ideas and their related imagery keeps injecting the reader with incentive to read on. The rewards just keep multiplying. That is a killer final thrust.

It's been weeks since I've been on site.

Comment is about 'Lost' by Chris Hubbard is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 20th Feb 2017 13:12

I had no idea that my last post was 'laughter oriented' as well. The former poem was a great memory finally captured; and the current one happened this week.

I laugh a lot.

Comment is about OOPS! (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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raypool

Mon 20th Feb 2017 12:29

Thanks all for your thoughts and comments.
Paul, fulsome praise goes a long way! I like to poke fun at the barminess of the world with some of my own. Glad you enjoyed it. Ay.......

Colin, your imagination, impressive and on the way to a children's poem already! Thanks.

Greg, Very pithy and apt ! Better to read than to travel at the moment.

Harry, you pose a really salient point with your comment. Obviously it's all gone beyond a joke and this grand gesture you suggest could well take hold : phone Boris right away for the right away. As you know, there were such things as railcars!

Suki, Thanks for taking the mythical ride.

Ray love to all.

Comment is about PLATFORM ANNOUNCEMENTS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Rick Gammon

Mon 20th Feb 2017 10:59

I've done some severe editing - these things do take time - one wonders if they are worth the effort but then to paraphrase Simon Peter in John ch 6 - "where shall we go? These are the words that shore up our souls."

Comment is about "Et camera non mentior." (blog)

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suki spangles

Mon 20th Feb 2017 09:33

Flows smoothly, unlike your trains!

Comment is about PLATFORM ANNOUNCEMENTS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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suki spangles

Mon 20th Feb 2017 09:25

This poem, for me anyway, can also be read as someone who is attempting to access a memory/memories that have wounded deeply (themselves or others), and in the process the self-hate of accessing the "heart of the matter" becomes self-lacerating. Powerful stuff Paul.

Suki

Comment is about The Heart Of The Matter (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Chris Hubbard

Mon 20th Feb 2017 09:18

Many thanks to Colin, J., and Graham for their kind and encouraging remarks. It's one thing to admire one's own work from the myopic and self-absorbed perspectives.

Although a poet's work is its own reward, a measure of support from others in the field also feels fantastic. This will give me a further push to keep going!

Chris Hubbard

Comment is about 'Lost' by Chris Hubbard is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 20th Feb 2017 09:00

I can't help but see an image of a cherubic Eros or Cupid gone astray and taking his role just a little too far. There is an almost mythical element to this that begs interpretation from the reader. Intriguing stuff Paul.

Comment is about The Heart Of The Matter (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

elPintor

Mon 20th Feb 2017 02:33

Despite it's more obvious connotations, I'd have to say that there's an element of cannibalism involved, here. It's somewhat difficult to describe but I would say that uncovering anything that lay in darkness requires exploration of darkness--be that darkness already existing within the explorer or beckoning his curiosity. Maybe, as in how they say good detective work requires the ability to think as a target which may, in turn, require the taking on of the target's persona to some degree.

I wonder how many endeavoring upon such pursuits find that they experience some sort of profound reckoning with themselves along with those they pursue.

elP

Comment is about The Heart Of The Matter (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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E.M Chino

Sun 19th Feb 2017 23:41

Glad you liked it Gem! Thanks for reading it.

Comment is about I am Certain (blog)

Original item by E.M Chino

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John Coopey

Sun 19th Feb 2017 23:37

I'm not one to blow my own trumpet, Harry, as my worldwide fans will agree, but her life will be an empty cup without me.

Comment is about JOHN COOPEY (R.I.P) (blog)

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 19th Feb 2017 19:57

John,
Gert...Suttee?...what do you think she`s been saving that mysterious packet of tapers for?

Comment is about JOHN COOPEY (R.I.P) (blog)

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 19th Feb 2017 19:42

Ray,
about those last six lines of this...As an ex union negotiator I`m a little bit mystified by the intransigence of the rail unions about the present upset...I keep getting the feeling that there is something deeper involved.

I sometimes wonder if there is something in the offing...
for instance: there is much talk of driver-less cars around
and - given the congestion on the road - the mind boggles at the mere possibility....But given that trains run on very
predictable rails on predictable routes at predictable times -
they would seem (in this age of the data revolution) that they could be prime candidates for the driverless transport
age...I wonder?

Comment is about PLATFORM ANNOUNCEMENTS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Wendy

Sun 19th Feb 2017 19:24

Hi Raj thankyou for your comments it's taken a long time but after a lifetime of being quiet seeing sleaze and listening to it i have found my voice at last . Regards Wendy .

Comment is about Chakraj (poet profile)

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Hazel ettridge

Sun 19th Feb 2017 18:44

Yes, 'garbage' is harsh. I still have a thick layer of last Autumn's leaves covering the garden and they are more like a de-constructed duvet for whatever lies beneath than garbage.

Comment is about Autumn Leaves (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

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Raj Ferds

Sun 19th Feb 2017 14:30

Thanks Colin, I'm getting there.

Comment is about When my inner voice speaks, I listen. (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 19th Feb 2017 13:31

cuddling calm sounds lovely ? I always take something away from reading your poems Raj.

Comment is about When my inner voice speaks, I listen. (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 19th Feb 2017 13:15

enjoyed this first time around and good to read again as POTW.

My attention was caught by the picture of the sea and together with the title made me think of Malaysia Airlines flight 370 that disappeared in 2014. The Australians played a key role in trying to locate the missing plane as I am sure you will be well aware of living in Perth.

I read it again and re-imagined how each stanza could be applied to that tragedy. Some worked and some didn't but it was interesting nonetheless.

Congrats on POTW Chris. All the best,
Colin

Comment is about 'Lost' by Chris Hubbard is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 19th Feb 2017 13:05

I make this your first blog Barry! definitely worth the wait.

Comment is about Turntable (blog)

Original item by Barry R Tench

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 19th Feb 2017 12:27

Ah! yes the beauteous fragility of the middle order collapse.

Comment is about JOHN COOPEY (R.I.P) (blog)

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John Coopey

Sun 19th Feb 2017 12:16

Graham - how I envy those people for whom weekends are a time of stress-free relaxation instead of tribal hypertension. Roll on the cricket season!

Comment is about JOHN COOPEY (R.I.P) (blog)

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Paul Waring

Sun 19th Feb 2017 12:10

Thanks gentlemen, I really appreciate you reading and for making comments/suggestions.

Thanks Old Shoes, I must try that approach, my God, just think...I'd have so much time on my hands ?

Thanks Raj, wise words (now you've got me thinking about G+T) ?

Thanks Col, for shedding light on the problem ?

Paul

Comment is about write, edit, re-write, write, edit, re-write (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 19th Feb 2017 11:51

And song thrushes are a bit gamey for my palate!

Comment is about JOHN COOPEY (R.I.P) (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 19th Feb 2017 11:49

JC you won't be saying that when we vanquish the mighty Fulham 4-3 after a replay and extra time!

Comment is about JOHN COOPEY (R.I.P) (blog)

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Emer Ni Chorra

Sun 19th Feb 2017 11:32

Thank you for stopping by and reading my pieces. I really appreciate it. Your writing is fantastic ? I see you are not here long on WOL, I hope you stick around and remain active. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future. ??

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JM.Cole

Sun 19th Feb 2017 11:30

Was a good read, great rhythm

Comment is about 'Lost' by Chris Hubbard is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

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