Sounds like a heartfelt tribute to an old soldier Emma-Jane?
Beautifully penned.

Comment is about SAM (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Quite lovely Harry.

As you occasionally say to me "it's a good 'un"

These words could be Shakespeare

(How strange: the way
The young bud unnoticed grows,
Then at the break of it`s appointed day
Is suddenly a rose)

Good Work.

Comment is about For Linda, just turned... (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

I'll repeat the comments that I made on the blog pages when this was first posted

"Quite frankly this is one of the best pieces that I have read here on WOL for a long time.
There are so many brilliant sentiments through this I don't want to pick one! This is the sort of work we all wish we were capable of.

Great work"

Comment is about 'Drinking where the river bed is dry' by John Marks is Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Well timed springtime allegory of rebirth, new growth, another chance to blossom etc. I think the first verse would have been improved if in the first person, like those following.

Good work.

Comment is about The First Of The Rest (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Uma,
I just took a look at your blog page. It is beautifully written in a language that I cannot understand but nonetheless beautiful

Welcome!

Comment is about uma (poet profile)

Original item by uma

Thank youu! ?

Comment is about La literatura (blog)

Original item by Don't be AFRAID!!!!

Aha! sorry Ray, it must be Monday morning exuberance but I too have a suggestion to make (We're all bloody critics aren't we).

Love the first verse where the rhyming is in lines 1/3 and 2/4

In the second verse the rhyming is in 1/2 and 3/4 with an extra line.

For my money it would be better to rearrange the second verse into 1/3 and 2/4 scheme (it works perfectly) and lose the extra line where you repeat the word Yosemite.

Agree with Colin about the third verse

................I'll get my coat

Comment is about ANSEL ADAMS, PHOTOGRAPHER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Nice tribute Ray, you've sparked my interest.

Thanks for sharing this.

Paul

Comment is about ANSEL ADAMS, PHOTOGRAPHER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

yes, agree with Stu. There's room to add some extra lines and take this places.

Comment is about MAN (blog)

Original item by Dyphrent

this feels somewhat top-heavy and wordy. IMO the bottom half works so much better because of the sparsity of words. Try taking an axe to the first four stanzas and see what happens - kindling is so much lighter than logs.

hope you don't mind the feedback offered with respect.
Colin

Comment is about Search (blog)

Original item by Seamus Mac Fhearchair

The first two stanzas flow delightfully but I'm struggling with the third - I'm not sure it adds much weight to what has already been said (we know he's an American photographer - darkroom / America) although I do quite like the last three lines. Perhaps they could be revised into 4 lines to make a 4,5,4 structure instead of the current 4,5,6?

anyways, something for you to ponder or ignore Ray ?

Col

Comment is about ANSEL ADAMS, PHOTOGRAPHER (blog)

Original item by ray pool

onwards and upwards...

Comment is about The First Of The Rest (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I'm glad it appealed to you to Nicola. x

Comment is about Building bridges, healing hearts (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Thank you Nicola. Always good to get encouraging feedback. x

Comment is about The Infinite Kingdom (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Thanks both.
I recall when "rococo glissando" went in - I've only performed this rarely as I was never confident with it - mid 'do' as it were and needing to spice it a bit the words came to me - I was dead chuffed with mesen ?

Comment is about Mission Hall (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Beautiful, sensitive: I thoroughly enjoyed the internal rhymes. Well deserved accolades.

Comment is about Drinking where the river bed is dry (blog)

Original item by John E Marks

Paul many thanks for your recent kind words- was a good boost. Really appreciate the support! And for taking the time to look at the collection.

Comment is about Paul Waring (poet profile)

Original item by Paul Waring

Hi all, many thanks for taking the time to look, really appreciate it. It something I've been meaning to put together for awhile so it's nice to finally do it. Yes it's my artwork which I've collated, i then put it together in a programme called InDesign that let's you easily move word and text around.

Comment is about Night Work - Collection (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

Jonnie, It was only a few days ago that I joined Word Out Loud and came across your work. I loved every line, roared with laughter only to be caught by the truth. I also enjoyed looking at all the photos. I hope to read more of your poetry and perhaps one day have the privilege of meeting you. Many thanks for brightening up my day. Keith

Comment is about Jonnie Falafel (poet profile)

Original item by Jonnie Falafel

cheers all. i havent been able to get on here much lately, hence the spree of commenting followed by the hastily posted scrawlings, but its always lovely to come and see that a piece i have written has been enjoyed. makes it all worth while doesnt it?

there's a lot of eroticism in vampyr and werewolf mythology, from bathory right through to twilight, underworld etc. as a man who often enjoys the bitier side of love making, i can get on board with it to a certain extent. odaxelagnia was one of those random wiki pages i stumbled across while bored this evening and it just went from there, from obsession (seeing the wolf everywhere) through lust and a strange, abstract love.

no real thought behind the shape david, just wanted it to drip and drop, no clunky long lines.

like i said, thanks again, sorry i keep commenting only on your most recent works but i have technical problems mixed with a broader degree of stressful busyness than i usually find myself with. all very taxing im sure you'd agree.

Comment is about odaxelagnia (how i learnt to love being bitten) (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thank you for some beautifully crafted poems which are clearly spoken by your inner self, expressing our yearnings, inadequacies and reality. Thank you. Write more....... Keith

Comment is about Jacob Binder (poet profile)

Original item by Jacob Binder

Me gusta muchisimo y mas......
Gracias Keith

Comment is about La literatura (blog)

Original item by Don't be AFRAID!!!!

I loved the Invisible Gift as it resonated with me in many different ways but chiefly within my inner being, where I suppose my soul resides. Thank you. Keith

Comment is about Jacob Martin (poet profile)

Original item by Jacob Martin

I would like to read more of your work. Thanks. Keith

Comment is about Your Absence (blog)

Original item by David Guinea

Lovely x

Comment is about Building bridges, healing hearts (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Great poem x

Comment is about The Infinite Kingdom (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

Thanks everyone for your comments and likes xxx lovely Mr Cash

Comment is about The Calm (blog)

Original item by Nicola Byrnes

Fantastically seedy and sordid Rick. Sort of Blues Brothers feel to it. I love all the lurid detail - as always you know how to sell a way of life so well. The stand out line for me is rococo glissando. That's a new one on me and i'm bleeding jealous!

Ray ( in the queue).

Comment is about Mission Hall (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Superbly descriptive and invasive - a tearing sense and loss of reality encapsulated in great gothic tradition Stu. Fantastic in every respect.
Deep in such mythology are the dark superstitions and fears re-inforced by religious and sexual intrigue and suppression. Move over Sleepy Hollow.

Ray

Comment is about odaxelagnia (how i learnt to love being bitten) (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

thanks seamus! ?

Comment is about eighteen (blog)

Original item by Little Bit

andy,
i don't know if my birth mom is alive. i haven't really done any searching. i want to, but get busy or put it out of my mind. i guess i'm not quite ready yet.

i'm working on being loud and making mama proud. i'm getting louder and louder ?

thanks for your comments. always good to hear from you!
LB

Comment is about true self (blog)

Original item by Little Bit

Hey, Suki! No need to worry about me..I manage to keep my more base instincts under a pretty tight rein these days. Glad you liked it, sir.

elP

Comment is about motive (blog)

Original item by nunya

Hi, Stu,

This is sparking thoughts going in all directions..most too cryptic and fragmented to address here. That's a cop out, I know, but it really is an absorbing piece of writing.

If I come up with anything more coherent, I'll let you know.

elP

Comment is about odaxelagnia (how i learnt to love being bitten) (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

I have read all the poems on your profile here. They are remarkably good as they emanate from your inner being where your honesty gives free rein to you emtions and thoughts. Write more, lots more. You are very talented. Your suffering is your strength. Thanks Keith

Comment is about Yenimls (poet profile)

Original item by Yenimls

Brilliant. I really love the last verse. Well done ?

Comment is about Solitude's serenity (blog)

Original item by Rich

I really enjoyed this Stu, I like the idea that it could read as being haunted by, or yearning to be bitten by, a wolf. And the repetition of wolf and other words works well.

Cheers,

Paul

Comment is about odaxelagnia (how i learnt to love being bitten) (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thanks Stu, so pleased you liked this and picked up on the sense of claustrophobia, noise and bustle that I was trying to create.

And I agree entirely about being too near to numbers of people!

Paul

Comment is about Terminal Zoo (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thanks for comments Stu - I think I must be a wandering fetishist, head in the past. Very pleased you approved of it!

Ray

Comment is about CHELSEA CREEK 1970 (blog)

Original item by ray pool

so much history and lovely description in your words as usual ray. as david said, anyone with any knowledge of the area cant help but be transported back there.

Comment is about CHELSEA CREEK 1970 (blog)

Original item by ray pool

claustrophobic and full of noise and bustle. a great piece of descriptive writing, i felt almost uneasy reading it as my idea of hell is anywhere with more than three people within 50 metres.

Comment is about Terminal Zoo (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

brilliant as ever ian but a personal piece for me and a wonderful, subtle use of the black dog metaphor which brings the whole piece together.

Comment is about The Devil On My Right Shoulder (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

what an excellent piece of writing. all your work showcases a real world weariness, and captures scenes and visions that only those who had the experiences that you did could hope to understand. but you translate them beautifully and allow us a glimpse into your mind, which is a dark yet attractive proposition

Comment is about Our Denial of Hate (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

this is excellent, the repetition really works and i would love to hear an impassioned live version, it would work really well.

Comment is about MAN (blog)

Original item by Dyphrent

great stuff. i attended hymers college in the mid nineties so identify with the area so this really resonates with me. enjoyable, immensely so infact.

Comment is about Mission Hall (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Thanks Ken. I like to combine the hope and the reality of
life occasionally - without becoming too maudlin!

Comment is about ONCE UPON A TIME = something from the past! (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Thank you for reading ´A Bibulous Few ¨

I like Hazy & Dull, quite possibly because I can relate to it. I also generally like your style. Thanks. Keith

Comment is about Hazy and Dull (blog)

Original item by Sky

Thanks Colin, Ray and Suki.

Col, I spent 4 hours on Thursday in Lisbon Airport Terminal 2 hell. Even Columbus would have struggled ?

Ray, I plan to avoid airports for as long as possible, flying has zip, zilch, zero appeal these days! Aythangyouw.

Suki, on Thursday I coped by writing about what was happening around me. I'm glad I did now! Staying with close friends until our furniture arrives. Moving is always stressful, eh? But now the relaxation has begun....thanks for your kind wishes.

Cheers to you all dear chaps.

Paul

Comment is about Terminal Zoo (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

This is from me book - the final version post-edit is at the printer. Me 'ead is slowly becoming mine again - after 6 months of editing - ferreting mistakes - all I have is negative rats running around my head.
The proof reader edits one of those "Health" mags - I'm thinking of applying for the position of 'Star Applicator' even 'Junior S.A.' would suit me fine ?

Comment is about Mission Hall (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Thanks Suki - as a musician I learnt that if you have a strong start and a good finish you have a result - I do try for a nice ending.

Comment is about SMOKING REQUISITES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Dark, stark and kinetic. I can sense the racing pulse - moving, circling, homing in in to do the deed.

I don't want to get on your bad side!

Suki

Comment is about motive (blog)

Original item by nunya