You are very kind Cynthia and much appreciated for your delicacy, as opposed to my severity. I have had this poem in my mind for 28 years.
John
Comment is about INFANT MORTALITY (blog)
Original item by John E Marks
<Deleted User> (9882)
Tue 8th Aug 2017 21:52
aw so sorry Trev for the surname mistake.My apologies.Hope you are well.
catch you later.
Rose ?
Comment is about Bridge of Sorrows (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
The first ten lines joined to the last ten lines - for me - cover deep thoughts finely expressed, with insight and power. The 'middle' seems like ranting stuck in rewind, accomplishing nothing. Now, maybe, that is exactly your intent. With great effect.
When does a suffering person effect a separation from the deliberate enjoyment of self-destruction?
Comment is about if my ugly had a shape it would be a spiral (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
This is hard reading, blunt and severe, and very effective. I like the hard honesty of it, and the lovely line like 'now even your blanket-smell has gone' and 'What else can I do for you?'
Comment is about INFANT MORTALITY (blog)
Original item by John E Marks
Kealan, so great to see you posting again.Here, on WOL.
A work deep and penetrating in thought. Like Stu, I so admire the final thought, but also the very first one. The rest is meaningful development but the first and last lines open and close the work like a titled cover.
Comment is about The Dig (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Strong and effective. Well said.
Comment is about Where Are The Skydancers? (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
You might be right, MC. Perhaps it is a prayer of thanks.
Comment is about HEY, MO! (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Never thought of that. I always thought he assumed that
position in gratitude for being granted his victory. But we
have a Muslim voted in as mayor in London so why not a Muslim "Sports Personality of the Year" on the BBC?
Comment is about HEY, MO! (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
A lot more praise than criticism I'm sure.
As ever it's a pleasure to read.
Many thanks Kevin
Comment is about This Is Me (blog)
Original item by Wendy Higson
Thanks for these kind comments.
Comment is about John Michael Porter (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
You sum up the unkown lives of nearly all the departed and in a way challenges the very idea of headstones and the like when after time there is little if any significance in an epitaph. A poem to provoke thought and well composed. Thank you. Keith
Comment is about John Michael Porter (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Stu, Thank you for your comments. You sum up our plight in the face of others whose plight is far worse. It is indeed a dilema. Keith
Comment is about They are ours (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
always lovely to read your stuff harry, you write with such a delicate touch that i believe can only be learnt through a long life well lived
Comment is about Betty in a windy sunset. (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
really very lovely, short, sweet and nicely penned.
Comment is about Amber (blog)
Original item by MyDystopiA
i think this poem accurately reflects the feelings many of us have, of helplessness, selfishness and, perhaps worst of all, numbness to the plight of millions worse off than us. a thought provoking piece, well written as always
Comment is about They are ours (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
excellent. i love way it flows (down down ever deeper) and a beautiful last line.
Comment is about The Dig (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Colin, Thank you indeed for this well informed response. You are right in all you say, regrettably. 663 million people in the world lack access to safe water and 2.4 billion lack access to a toilet. And Scotland and Catalan want independence. My God!. Thanks again. Keith
Comment is about They are ours (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
I live in a bedsit and can relate. I slept on a suitcase and a broken pull out bed for months. This poem pretty much mirrored my sentiments.
Comment is about Respect (blog)
Original item by Wendy Higson
<Deleted User> (13762)
Tue 8th Aug 2017 08:34
as global citizens it seems we have become somewhat impotent to the needs of others and can only help by placing our trust and money into the hands of aid agencies and governments, the latter of which seem perpetually incapable of effecting any meaningful and lasting change.
as a volunteer for an 'aid' charity working in Africa I could talk endlessly about the pros and cons of what has now become an industry in itself. In some ways almost all aid (excepting responses to natural disasters) inevitably by-passes and props up corrupt governments and business. We tackle the effects but not the causes.
your poem raises valid and difficult questions Keith to which I have only scratched the surface. Thanks for posting.
Colin.
Comment is about They are ours (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
I like the idea of a light struggling to stay.
Fibonacci is what I think beauty is- each to their own!
Comment is about if my ugly had a shape it would be a spiral (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Cheers Colin. I know the feeling about needing the sea. I live in Bradford, pretty much in the middle of the country, and sometimes just have to head off to the coast for a fix!
Comment is about Far Horizons (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
elPintor
Mon 7th Aug 2017 23:02
And, that's the thing, David--nobody seemed to understand 'til someone got an eye put out...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVRv5WG94F4
Love, Rachel
ps
What's up, Colin? Thanks for readin', man.
Comment is about parastasis (blog)
Original item by nunya
Thanks Rose for liking this
Also thanks for reading this Stu. Might see you at Sale next week if you are there.
Cheers Martin
Comment is about imagination (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder
Thanks...that is just what I was going for. Wish I could come up with a tune. I would love to sing country western. I can't play the guitar either. Sort of a problem.
Comment is about NO MONEY ON THE TABLE (blog)
Original item by lynn hahn
<Deleted User> (10985)
Mon 7th Aug 2017 20:01
Thank you Martin. Same thing happened to me. A teacher at school was very encouraging when I was about 15. I still have the written feedback she gave me on an assessment piece. It's been a slow burn since then, but it was always there ... never too late, they say.
JH : )
Comment is about 'Incoming' by Jonathan Humble is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Much like this one, reminds me of a dream
Comment is about The Lighthouse (a romance) (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 7th Aug 2017 19:15
I was talking with a friend yesterday about house moving and where to go and could we live away from the sea. Although I'm not a beach bum or an avid sunbather or sailor I did grow up by the sea 'twixt shore and South Downs and a part of me still needs that regular dose of salty air and distant straight line horizon. Or at the least, to know it is there and quite close.
I understand that draw that you picture here so well. When I lived for a few years in Leeds and then Airedale I felt hemmed in despite the beauty of the landscape and long vistas from summits. The sea just seemed too far away.
The only other landscape I have found which satisfies my soul in a similar way are the wide open spaces of America. Setting out to traverse these great distances, even by hire car, seems almost as epic as setting out to sea in a tall ship. Well at least in my imagination!
I'll shut up now. All the best, Colin.
Comment is about Far Horizons (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Marvellous poem Jonathan and rightly deserved POTW. great to read a different side to your writing.
I wholly heartedly concur with releasing and engaging young minds in literature of any kind not least poetry as it has in the past had the reputation as being something either inaccessible or elitist boring. I was amazed when I wrote a poem at the age of fourteen that my English teacher wanted to submit it to a young persons magazine for publication. so amazed I don't think I wrote another for about thirty five years. None the less he was so encouraging.
Nice one Jonathan. I look forward to more
Comment is about 'Incoming' by Jonathan Humble is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I tell a lie, MC. He was 3rd in 2011. I hope it's not so but could it be because this little brown man of Somali origin falls to his knees at the finishing line and prays to Mecca?
Comment is about HEY, MO! (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Skilful espionage of the spirit Stu. I just felt that word - a spiral I can understand as it common to all life and indeed states of being and seeing. Our conception of light and dark is an interesting state in itself , containing as they do all colours and no colours - both sides of the colour coin and ultimately the dark side of the moon is just as much in existence as the "seeable." Try that with mustard.
Somehow I'm reminded of lyrics from All the Things you Are - "trembling on the blink of a lonely star."
Excellent feel to this.
Comment is about if my ugly had a shape it would be a spiral (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
You raise a valid point about the absence of recognition as
"Sports Personality of the Year". Could it be he's tainted
in certain opinions by his connection with Alberto Salazar?
Even now, when a two time drugs offender can still run
and win a World Championship medal, the world of
athletics seems dogged by its own history and inability to
clean itself up. Boo!!
Comment is about HEY, MO! (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
There is, albeit with an absence of rhyme, a sense of John Masefield in these lines. The theme is adaptable and many
modern nations with thriving connections through military
and merchant venturing would nod in recognition. It is
certainly applicable to lands with sea shores and distant
horizons...surely a huge magnet for intrepid travellers
looking for a different life and better prospects. To mix
it up a bit: the grass is always greener on the other side
of the fence.
Comment is about Far Horizons (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Thanks Graham. It was originally written this week for an American audience, so I was taking no chances! lol
I might just change it on here. ?
Comment is about Far Horizons (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Mon 7th Aug 2017 11:34
bravo Wendy! bravo! Thank you.Jemima.
Comment is about This Is Me (blog)
Original item by Wendy Higson
Mon 7th Aug 2017 11:33
such a kind gesture to Rose from you Wendy.But there again you are a kindly natured person.I enjoyed reading the poem.Thank you.Jemima.
Comment is about A Rose To Capture (blog)
Original item by Wendy Higson
thanks both, both for your comments and concern, but actually my usual rule applies here, the more content i am the darker the poetry becomes. i actually wrote this to perform live but decided to post it as i was quite pleased with how it read.
graham, i am glad you felt lost, as the whole thing came forth as an exercise in how best to describe the feeling of being alone.
so, as much as i would love to enforce the brooding, dark persona of a troubled mind, things are quite alright really!
Comment is about if my ugly had a shape it would be a spiral (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
If you are describing a Damascene moment then I get it. There is a unsettling thread in this however.
Although I can understand the numerous repetitions of shine to emphasise the transformation, I personally felt lost within them.
This is very effective although If you were on my speed dial I think I'd be ringing you up!
Powerful stuff as usual Stu.
Graham
Comment is about if my ugly had a shape it would be a spiral (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
This is a lovely piece Trevor. There's almost a sway to it when reading, to mimic the voyage. Personally I don't think you needed to shorten mystery (it sounds a bit twee to me).
Good work
Graham
Comment is about Far Horizons (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Beautifully observed piece - I guess many of us have known people like that.
Comment is about Aunt Win (nie) (blog)
Original item by Jane C. Steele
<Deleted User> (10985)
Mon 7th Aug 2017 08:24
Thank you Suki, Cynthia and Colin ... you are very kind.
Couldn't argue against any of the points you've made there, MC : )
Comment is about 'Incoming' by Jonathan Humble is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 7th Aug 2017 08:15
I like this Lynn - it has the feel of a Country & Western ballad with all the requisite ingredients. I'm not a great fan of the genre (musically) but find the lyricism and story telling fascinating. Thanks for posting. Col.
Comment is about NO MONEY ON THE TABLE (blog)
Original item by lynn hahn
Thanks Casserley ?
I've been busy elsewhere, but I'll be dropping in from time to time.
Comment is about Bridge of Sorrows (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Louis, you don't shy away from any topic when it comes to your poetry... this is a great, and in some cases as this one you are sharing something very personal. Aside from the pronouns and a few other words this could have been written equally from a woman's perspective.
In my opinion (and we all have different opinions - these can be based on personal experiences, our environment, our attitudes, any number of factors...) intimacy is a huge factor in a marriage or partnership. And sex is very important to me to achieve that, it is opening yourself up completely to your partner.
Just my two cents.
Comment is about Sexless Marriage (blog)
Original item by Louis Audet
His record is phenomenal. He runs the 5k and 10k. he's won both events TWICE at the Olympics and both events TWICE at the World Championships. He's won both events TWICE at the European Championships. He may yet win both events twice at these World Championships.
He's never even been in the first three of Sports Personality of the Year. WHAT MORE CAN HE DO???
The song I crucify in singing and playing is Jimi Hendrix's "Hey Joe". Here's a link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXwMrBb2x1Q
Comment is about HEY, MO! (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Mark, celebrity used to be a blanket term for a kind of well known status reserved for film stars chiefly. Now in its abbreviated form of "celeb" I suppose it means those who feed the insatiable appetite for a pandemic of celebrity. The whole thing has been demeaned a bit like the honours list.
I'll get my coat.
Comment is about THE AUTOBIOGRAPHIES OF THE FAMOUS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Hi Keith, thanks for commenting on me poem. It's a scary world out there so nice to know people get it, Cathy
Comment is about keith jeffries (poet profile)
Original item by keith jeffries
Cynthia, thank you for your comments on my work of late. I really appreciate you take the time to read and listen.
Cathy xx
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Trevor Alexander
Wed 9th Aug 2017 00:39
Yes, thanks Rose. And my reply was of course, tongue in cheek. ?
Comment is about Bridge of Sorrows (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander