I was with you all the way until the line 'we have done nothing wrong'. The whole overpopulation problem is definitely our responsibility.

Comment is about The Cull (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Keith...I think you've hit on something here. There's too many of us and we need thinning out. If it helps I'd be willing to choose the ones to be culled.

Comment is about The Cull (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Those last 5 lines do stand alone - even stronger with the line separation. Perhaps they ARE the poem.

Comment is about Drawn by Dragons (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Thanks for this inspiring account, Jacky. Not many of us would have the same patience, bravery and heart of you and your fellow volunteers to do this kind of thing, I reckon. Well done to you all. Good to hear that sharing some of the best poetry we know can help folk struggling to make sense of the world. And nice that you got to hear about it at Write Out Loud Wigan ... !

Comment is about The Reader - A shared experience (article)

Original item by Mike Took

Quite, Hazel. I am more impressed by the woman who gives up a couple of hours a week to the homeless shelter than the one who writes a poem about it.

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Outrage is easy. Action to make things better, a little more difficult.

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I wrote the last 5 lines before working on the rest of the poem. I'm now wondering if I should have left it as a 5 line imaginist poem.

Comment is about Drawn by Dragons (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Yes, I agree with Ray.

Loved the first stanza.

The whole poem is carefully and successfully edited and atmospheric.

Favourite lines:

"Sharp black wings

tear the sky with flight;"

Comment is about AIR IN THE MORNING (blog)

Original item by john short

I agree with Ray, the last five lines are written in a totally different voice... intriguing.

Comment is about Drawn by Dragons (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

How did I miss this?
I studied Wim Wenders at uni - Film Noir is one of my favourite genres.
So of course, I was taken in straight away by your description and smells...

Comment is about FILM NOIR (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Great sample

Comment is about Rebecca Clark (poet profile)

Original item by Rebecca Clark

Those bloody pens were impossible to use without spattering ink on the upstroke.

Comment is about SCHOOL DESKS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Surely not Spring, Trevor???!!! It shouldn't be allowed.
For me, Brian, the give-away is the arm wafting, ham overacting and lack of imagination.

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Throw in a fews f's and c's...anything can be made subversive.

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I think I was at that one too, and bottled out of reading my subversive sonnet about spring....

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Thanks, Hannah. I do consider myself left of centre. But it does seem to me to be a silly paradox to call poetry "subversive" or "edgy" when everyone is spouting the same de rigueur stuff.
Quite right, Terry. Enjoy what you have. Envy is a queue.

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Ray,
this does evoke memories of Empire Day which is now Commonwealth Day; of teachers brought out of retirement to care for us, as the younger ones had been killed during the war. To this day I still use a fountain pen. Yet I well remember being the ink monitor whose duty it was to replenish all the ink wells in the classroom. A poem which captures a nostalgia for an era long since gone. Thank you for this.
Keith

Comment is about SCHOOL DESKS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Hi Ray

Thanks for your interest and comments. This was written years ago and has had countless re-workings. Quite a relief to finally get it right (and published).

Comment is about AIR IN THE MORNING (blog)

Original item by john short

Mike...good poem but I am anti-beggar because in my home town I have personal knowledge that a good many of ours are professional beggars i.e. a lifestyle choice.

Look at the folk they are targetting - it takes many of them until about 11am on friday before they've earned enough to pay their rent, bills and shopping. They are left with about 6 hours earnings...and some beggar wants to relieve them of some of it, having done nothing but sit on his cushion and cardboard halfway up the steps in a prime begging position.

Comment is about Stu of the Steps (blog)

Original item by mike booth

This is amazing, a real insight into the person we see sitting on the ground homeless.
When we had the very bad weather recently, I couldn't stop thinking about them and feeling it is so wrong.
Some were successful before, some were in Care, shown the door at 17.
An important poem, so glad you wrote it.

Hannah

Comment is about Stu of the Steps (blog)

Original item by mike booth

thank you for your kind comment and for liking my poem matt im happy

Comment is about dream river (blog)

Original item by racha

Proper schooling Ray with blackboards and dip pens. Not bloody interactive white boards and computer screens. And caning...wonderful!

Comment is about SCHOOL DESKS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Somehow school desks become a part of us when we're at school.
The first verse is powerful, a different world, then memories of pens and clothes. Was always fascinated by my teacher's clothes.
I love your writing and the way you read it.

Hannah

Comment is about SCHOOL DESKS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Unmistakeably recognizable work, and a great honour to read. Totally authentic and compelling. The lines come to life and grab us by the Nepals.

Would this be for sale?

Ray

Comment is about ‘Backpacking in Nepal, June 1971’ by Albert Tatlock is our Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by steve pottinger

I think it works well here that you move from the past tense to the present at the end, making the smile stand out more, Martin. Sadly, I just think of perhaps a mental problem in some cases such as this lady typifies.

Written with lots of feeling.

Ray

Comment is about Hard lines (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Hi Suki. Another flexing of the imagination and a helter skelter of words. This bears a resemblance to a book i'm currently reading called Auto de Fe by Elias Canetti. It's a portrayal of descent into madness, and worth the read. The Wormer of Men is just so strong in a horribly softness.

Ray

Comment is about I Am The Worms (blog)

Original item by Suki Spangles

great article - enjoyed reading (:

Comment is about The Reader - A shared experience (article)

Original item by Mike Took

A roll call of the past, lovingly detailed and brings a lump to the throat. I wonder if the present generation will be so fond of how the UK has been indundated with global brands and the retail food depots' contribution to obesity with future grandkids weighing heavy on their knees?
Sorry, that's a bit over the top I know.

I love the poem.

Ray

Comment is about Hebburn (blog)

Original item by Chris Bainbridge

People are so angry, I enjoy my life. some day all of us will die. It will be to late for the angry ones to have ever enjoyed their lives. ho hum it's their choice.

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Plaintive and moving.

Hannah

Comment is about Failed Pills (blog)

Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER

Lovely atmosphere poem - I do like this sort of descriptive work; I enjoy your posts John. Speaks of sensitivity and awareness beyond the norm. The last verse consolidates the vision.

Ray

Comment is about AIR IN THE MORNING (blog)

Original item by john short

An important message there.
All rebellious in accord.
Really enjoyed it.

Hannah

Comment is about SUBVERSIVE VERSE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

one of my best friends who i won't name and is a fine poet herself is from Nepal, i forwarded this article onto before and she loved it.

Just thought i would let you all know.

from my side, i thought it was a great piece but it's good to know that somebody who lives in Nepal loves it.

Comment is about ‘Backpacking in Nepal, June 1971’ by Albert Tatlock is our Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by steve pottinger

A lesson in self discovery often suppressed by having to grease the wheels of corporations. I am intrigued by the last three lines Hazel. Sounds like a coda in a song or curtains across a stage.

Ray

Comment is about Drawn by Dragons (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Beautiful writing.
Evocative of times past.
Images that stay in the mind.

Hannah

Comment is about Hebburn (blog)

Original item by Chris Bainbridge

thanks Anya. Glad you like it. tried to look at it from a slightly different way. some of the earlier versions of the story its worth knowing actually contain a vampire or a orgre but not a wolf.

Comment is about Risking Bone (A Warning for Red Riding Hood) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Is it going to get better or worse ?
Beautifully written.

Hannah

Comment is about Stuffed (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

The quest to be allowed to be oneself.
Really enjoyed this poem. Read it twice.

Hannah

Comment is about Drawn by Dragons (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Hi Hazel, thank you for your comment on my poem.
Much appreciated.

Hannah

Comment is about Hazel ettridge (poet profile)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

Anya,
Thank you for your comment. Keith

Comment is about Likes and Dislikes (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Who exactly are you angry about Nick? Our society, our environment, our everything is caused by us, the people, who consume and breed at an unsustainable rate. Politicians only really tinker at the edges, and in fact if anything they do their best to improve the situation.

Comment is about Land of Opportunity. (blog)

Original item by Nick

Thanks for your comment Mike. When I first went to work as a 15 year old in Wigan, times were hard and there was little money. Many lived with parents right up until getting married... but I never saw one homeless person - at best the occasional traveling tramp. Sociologists need to get a grip on what's happenening...
Oh, and by the way - welcome to Wigan Mike.

Comment is about Wigan, twinned with Tangier (blog)

Original item by J R Harris

Thank you Wood ?

Comment is about Bird poem n.3 (blog)

Original item by Celia

I love this! Brings back memories...?

Comment is about Hebburn (blog)

Original item by Chris Bainbridge

Thanks, Wendy - and also to those who "liked" these lines.

Comment is about POINTS (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Yes, welcome. I've enjoyed both pieces - more please!

Comment is about Two Tribes (blog)

Original item by Matt Tyldesley

Brian,
I come from Warwickshre and have instructed Customs to prevent the import of pears into the county. Bloody horrid fruit. Keith

Comment is about Likes and Dislikes (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Thanks to Colin and Brain for liking and thanks to Keith and Anya for your comments.

As you astutely realised Keith I am a people watcher as I suspect many of us are. I happened to be passing the open doors of a bank recently and saw this lady. A lot of what I wrote was artistic licence partly based on what I have noticed of others I have come across, sometimes in my past working life. When ever I see such souls my heart goes out to them.

Thanks again for reading and commenting

cheers

Martin

Comment is about Hard lines (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Keith You won't like it here in Worcestershire...we have pear orchards!

Comment is about Likes and Dislikes (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

“All you’ll ever be is spark”. Wow. I love it when a final line delivers. Excellent stuff.

Comment is about dream river (blog)

Original item by racha