I liked the imagery of this piece Keith. I could just picture the old lass. I think your concerns regarding good manners are unfounded. plenty of young people today have impeccable manners, in much the same way as lots of the older generation don't. I don't think manners has anything to do with age.
I found Brian's comment, suggesting class and good manners go hand in hand a bit offensive. (I could tell you what I really thought, but despite being a working class scum-bag I was brought up better than that)
Comment is about The Red Poncho (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Eve,
Do I detect the voice of prophecy? I think so. Another excellent poem
Thank you
Keith
Comment is about Gang 13 (blog)
Original item by eve nortley
Ray,
I have only been back in this country for over three months after a continuous absence of 10 years. Your poem is a living testimony to what I have witnessed since my return. It frightens me to think where it is all heading. Do you remember a certain political party several years who called themselves the party that cares? Some hope.
A poem which gives voice to many and thank you for it
Keith
Comment is about SUICIDE STREET (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Mike this beautifully crafted poem speaks of man´s innate unsuitability for war. Men taken from farms, offices and workshops to a foreign land to be embroiled in a living hell is almost incomprehensible; cruel beyond belief.
You have captured this dilema perfectly. I applaud you
Thank you
Keith
Comment is about Never Born To Fight (blog)
Original item by Mike Bartram
<Deleted User> (18118)
Fri 9th Nov 2018 19:59
This is a brilliant poem.
Great for reading aloud, as I did.
The power of words.
Hannah
Comment is about Words (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
What a fabulous compilation of words which capture the features of someone loved
and the fires that are your eyes when I disappoint you....
A first rate poem and well done
Keith
Comment is about Sketches (blog)
Original item by Douglas MacGowan
<Deleted User> (18118)
Fri 9th Nov 2018 19:56
A critique on recent times, with a great play on words.
Clever, biting with an edge of tragedy.
Hannah
Comment is about SUICIDE STREET (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Excellent flow to this Keith - it really is a commitment of mind . I like "proven sound" especially. This poem has a strength to it as you challenge the reader wisely.
Ray
Comment is about A Fading Light (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
<Deleted User> (18118)
Fri 9th Nov 2018 19:50
The tragedy faithfully expressed.
Very moving.
A poem to remember.
Hannah
Comment is about Never Born To Fight (blog)
Original item by Mike Bartram
HI Douglas; my comment would concern your predicament in emerging into reality from a cocoon of received wisdom which may be alien to your needs; we can't possibly know what is right for us until life has knocked us. If we believe in damnation that may be bad news, but I think you must take life on the chin to grow.
I'll get my coat.
Ray
Comment is about Spyglass (blog)
Original item by Douglas MacGowan
<Deleted User> (18118)
Fri 9th Nov 2018 19:46
Every line has something to capture the reader.
I do love your writing.
Hannah
Comment is about A Fading Light (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Poignant and clear poem about the senselessness of many wars through time. I also liked the reference to the famous Flanders Field poem.
Comment is about Never Born To Fight (blog)
Original item by Mike Bartram
I really like how you use multiple senses: sight & sound & tactile to capture the entirety of a moment.
I see the narrator on the top of a hill thinking about what the view brings to mind.
Good descriptions, too.
Comment is about A Fading Light (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Darkness and sunlight are both present. I’m sure most people can relate to that struggle.
Comment is about Glimpse (blog)
Original item by Marianne May
Starting with planes and then speaking of melancholy and then back to planes. Nice flow.
Comment is about Stealing The Sea (blog)
Original item by Chris Bainbridge
Thanks for the input and insights. It is great to have a site where such thorough feedback is given.
Comment is about Spyglass (blog)
Original item by Douglas MacGowan
This mischievous analogy is well done - and it shows!
Good one Ray. Stannah Up - and take a bow!
Comment is about STANNAH STAIRLIFT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
One can be greedy for a good many reasons, including good
company! That's a good reason to visit WOL, so good luck
to that! ?
Comment is about Stir-Ups (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
Fri 9th Nov 2018 16:07
Ben,
Welcome to WOL. I hope you will find it a valuable experience as you begin to write both poetry and prose. I have been a member for nearly two years and the other members, through their comments of my work, have helped me greatly. All the best
Keith
Comment is about Ben (poet profile)
Original item by Ben
Taylor,
Thank you for your comment. Both yourself and Douglas are good examples of making valuable comments about how I have described the lady in question. I did not do so conciously but your comments have helped me realise how important it is to receive the comments of others.
Keith
Comment is about The Red Poncho (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Fri 9th Nov 2018 13:38
Thank you, Big Sal, Don and Anya for the comments and Brian, Becky and Megan for the likes.
Indeed, Big Sal, with so many languages and cultures etc. it is a constant effort to try and be able to understand each other's meaning.
Comment is about Words (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Hi Jon! I like your work! Thank you for your support too!
Mae
Comment is about Jon Stainsby (poet profile)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
Thanks @Taylor Crowshaw.
Thanks @Keith Jeffries.
???
Comment is about LONELY (blog)
Original item by Kporho Raphael Oyeke
Thanks @keith Jeffries. Much appreciation from here ?.
I appreciate you as well @Big Sal much ❤ from the other side.
Comment is about The Irreplaceable (blog)
Original item by Kporho Raphael Oyeke
This it will teach me to be out of town
Let all you commenters jump in first
I'll have to take back seat on Ray's Stannah Stairlft
I guess it couldn't be worse. ?
Comment is about STANNAH STAIRLIFT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Mr Mansplain Kindly Comments
I can see what you’re trying to do lovey,
but you’re not quite there with your idealistic fantasy.
I’ll take it out of context and patronise you,
misrepresent intentions with a glib interpretation.
I’ll pick apart your vision with my cynicism,
get pedantic with semantics, and demand
that you must justify and qualify your view
that human beings are human and worthy of compassion.
You have not contextualised sufficiently.
This issue is far too complex for your tiny, naive female brain.
But oh, what a great idea my dear, so sweet of you.
I simply can’t resist an edifying, empty comment,
framed pseudo-intellectually, ambiguously,
potentially sarcastic and most definitely irrelevant.
Will she get defensive? Or perhaps too dumb to comprehend.
Or better yet intimidated, silenced by my prowess.
Well done my dear. Nice try.
©️Janey Colbourne 2018
Comment is about Time’s Up (blog)
Original item by Janey Colbourne
Every now and again a poem decides its own pathway. You know what I mean. This was one ?
Comment is about Stir-Ups (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
Big Sal
Fri 9th Nov 2018 12:11
Even gray images look colored through rose-tinted glasses. Nostalgia can be a great motivator, but is often relegated to a role of a memory instead.
Very good piece. Excellent word choice.?
Comment is about Rusting Self-Image (blog)
Original item by Heart of Lead
Big Sal
Fri 9th Nov 2018 12:09
It'd be interesting to see how speech patterns and words developed at the earliest stage. Language is indeed unique, and its existence is shadowed in vague references and one unlike any other.
Like the boy Em once said, "Words can de-grate, and they can teach hate."
Great piece, Jon. It brings about this labyrinthine obstacle I'm not sure we will ever overcome.
Comment is about Words (blog)
Original item by Jon Stainsby
I particularly enjoyed the image of the old woman. I agree with Douglas you managed to breath life into her character. ?
Comment is about The Red Poncho (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
I echo Douglas a strong series of poems. ?
Comment is about How Much Longer (blog)
Original item by Mikey V Kinsey
Wonderful, the last line sums it up for me..
Clawing towards my former contentment.
?
Comment is about Spyglass (blog)
Original item by Douglas MacGowan
Need to read this a few times so much content, it is excellent...?
Comment is about A Psychiatric Disorder (blog)
Original item by John E Marks
A humorous glimpse into the (nearer than I would like) future...a gentle easing into the reality love it...?
Comment is about STANNAH STAIRLIFT (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Full of emotion and a sad beauty......❤
Comment is about The sad end (blog)
Original item by Hasmukh Mehta
Brian and Doug,
Thank you for your comments which are much appreciated. Brian you raise a good point. Up until recently I lived in Spain and prior to returning to the UK I decided to live in a rural community instead of a city or large town for the very good reasons you have mentioned. I now live in a small town of 5000 poeple where people are polite and hospitable but a recent visit to a much larger town left me feeling a strong sense of dismay. I could not get the bus home fast enough. I was pushed and shoved as I have never experienced before.
Thank you both
Keith
Comment is about The Red Poncho (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
My hubby is from Ramsbottom.....absolutely hilarious...thank you Hugh made my day...??
Comment is about Marriage name change B.Hind to B.Bottom (blog)
Original item by hugh
<Deleted User> (18980)
Fri 9th Nov 2018 08:28
Nice cup of tea makes everything bearable.
Comment is about Rain Please Go Away (blog)
Original item by Shriranga Kulkarni
<Deleted User> (18980)
Fri 9th Nov 2018 08:25
Must be an Aussie thing Don...we don't get any of that grabbing over here in the UK.
(Laced with heavy irony.)
Comment is about Stir-Ups (blog)
Original item by Don Matthews
Don Matthews
Fri 9th Nov 2018 21:47
I like it Eve ?
Comment is about Gang 13 (blog)
Original item by eve nortley