Caravan, oh, caravan!
You court a certain breed of man.
Who “canvassed” (once), ‘The Great Outdoors’
but now he favours plywood floors!
The lure of towing, out of town.
Of ‘pitching up’ and winding down.
Al-fresco lunches, cups of tea.
Of ‘Vanners’ camararderie.
Reversing in, (if ‘things get tense’)
so often gains an audience.
Circled Campfires: lots to drink. -
Sounds of laughter; glasses ‘chink’!
Time for bed, and good times, had!,
The ‘vanner’, now a ‘boozy lad’
returns to base and staggers in.
It’s bloody hot (- it’s made of tin!)
His bed is still a seat so, he
attempts ‘conversion therapy’.
and (boosted by inebriation)
strives to solve the situation.
Easier said than ever done.
(All part of caravanning ‘fun’!)
‘Cushions-jigsaw’; soon knee-deep,
he has a go, then falls asleep!
As seasons turn, such ‘vanners’ age
and tend to reach another stage.
For some, the change is automatic.
All ‘toured-out’, they buy a static !
And so, devoid of touring-strife,
they settle into ‘static life’.
Flowing water, en-suite loos.
‘Decking-sunsets’, plied with booze.
There’s many things, they’ll never miss
- like ‘porta-loos’ (that ‘take the piss’!)
and awnings raised- whilst partners nag
(so named, ‘Divorces in a Bag’!).
For most, a static’s ‘oh, so nice’.
Their “Bolt-hole, chill-out paradise”!
Yet, some can’t shake that ‘urge to roam’.
‘Ex-static’ - with a motor-home!