A Fond Farewell !

A Fond Farewell ! 


For thirty, long years he’d delivered the post.

The community all knew Ben well. 

His retiring had come as a ‘shocker’ to most.

-  He’d be sorely missed. (You could tell!) 


And so, on the day of his very last shift, 

(where, really to no-one’s surprise) 

each household met Ben with a suitable gift.

Wrapped in ‘hugs’ and some ‘dewing-up’ eyes! 


A new set of golf clubs from house, number nine. 

A watch, from the couple at ‘seven’. 

The ‘Wilsons, at ten’ gave a case of fine wine. 

Some glasses to fill, from ‘eleven’.  


Then, having delivered to number ‘fourteen’, 

he encountered ‘Young Mrs McBride’, 

(the sexiest woman that he’d ever seen) 

who, seductively led him inside. 


And (silently) taking Ben up to her bed, 

‘Young Mrs McBride’ laid him down.  

Then (teasing) kissed lipstick on top of his head 

as she slowly slipped out of her gown. 


Now (for modesty’s sake) let’s just say, Ben felt ‘blessed’.  

Which, soon saw a man, ‘fully-sated’ 

being led down the stairs - in his cap and his vest 

- where a full ‘English Breakfast’ awaited.  


Then Mrs McBride (gently taking Ben’s hand) 

placed a ‘fifty-pence’ piece in his palm. 

“This is all very nice, but I don’t understand,” 

he remarked. (Having, ‘buttered his barm’!) 


“My husband suggested your present,” smiled, she, 

“when I asked how we’d ‘mark’ your career.

‘Screw Ben! ’ he’d said. ‘Let him have 50p ! ’

But the breakfast was all my idea !”

◄ 'Caravan Man'

Down, the 'Chippy'. ►


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John Andrew Nield

Sun 19th May 2019 10:40

Thanks, Jennifer. I agree - the wife's naive interpretation did serve him right! ?

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jennifer Malden

Sat 18th May 2019 19:39

Lovely! Liked the twist in the tail at the end! Serve the stingy husband right I say!


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