black humour (Remove filter)
The Last Tango
I’ll take my chances by the crater’s edge
And hold my partner to the windswept ledge
Our heads thrown back as we await the crash
Of pumice stone and hot volcanic ash
With molten lava there is just one chance
To swoon and tango in one last romance
So take me in your arms and squeeze me tight
Erupting embers make the earth ignite
He holds her waist she grips his wri...
Tuesday 7th May 2024 5:54 pm
Once upon a time in a vest
There’s a shoot-out on the bowling green
The pianola’s full of holes
The Man with No Name’s
Got a Zimmer frame
And a tray of sausage rolls
He’s a High Plains drifter
Not from round here
The strong and silent type
Got a dance partner, can’t lift her
They practice moves on Skype
At the monthly hoedown
At the nursing home
He wears a felt ten-gallon hat
It’s ...
Wednesday 22nd November 2023 6:19 pm
DIY Man
There’s a Viking Warrior around the back
With a multi-tool and a Power Pack
Keeps nuts and bolts in a padlocked sack
He’s a DIY Man, he’s building a shack
With his manic ScrewFix lust
He’ll transform that hedge into dust
It makes no odds, he’s not fussed
He’s a DIY Man, born to rust
He wears a John Deere branded shirt
Recharges himself when he feels inert
Wa...
Tuesday 24th October 2023 11:03 pm
Banged Up
"My how you've grown"
Said the kindly old dear.
"Last time I held you
you burped in my ear.
The truth of the matter
I just have to say
it's been twenty long years
since they put me away.
It's a long stretch of time
which I passed saving stamps
but that's what they gave me
for killing your Gramps.
I know you're an orphan
'cause I poisoned y...
Friday 18th January 2019 9:27 pm
A Tale Of Reincarnation
6th December
Sunday
Leeds
There was a monk
well, a former monk
and he was handing out free cups of tea
to passers-by
As he did he spoke of
Great Energies
Oneness
and letting go of material possessions.
I took him up on his offer and we conversed
but then he asked me about my job
and I ashamedly admitted that I felt down
because
I work for a corporation
but he held me in a s...
Sunday 12th June 2016 9:45 pm
HOW LOW CAN YOU GET?
weak ankles took me to a clinic
in the nineteen fifties.
Mum worrying enough for us both
low chairs for kids
alice in wonderland
long stinking corridors
the grim reaper in white coat
sun shining through crittall windows
brave new world.
I couldn't speak for fear
they surrounded me like interrogators
that was the nineteen fifties
sixty years later
an oste...
Sunday 8th May 2016 9:24 pm
THEY LAUGH IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
They laugh in all the wrong places
turn life into a joke
often the joke is on you
but the laugh is paramount
the humour is gone
but the malady lingers on..
Wednesday 14th October 2015 1:31 pm
Sign Of The Times
Monday 26th January 2015 7:09 pm
GRIEF VOYEUR
It struck me that when I worked with bereavement counsellors some of them seemed just a bit too happy in their work. I speculated on this and wrote it down. This is the result. It bears no resemblance to any indivisual person and is a generalisation of events.
GRIEF VOYEUR
Julie was a voyeur person, a voyeur person, Julie, was she
She'd morbidly watch a train crash ...
Friday 15th January 2010 1:57 pm
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