Poetry Blog by David Gabriel Caplan

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John Coopey on An Aussie Farmer's Lot. (Fri, 22 Feb 2019 10:18 pm)

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Dave Caplan on The Spark ! (Tue, 19 Feb 2019 12:16 pm)

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Frances Macaulay Forde on The Spark ! (Mon, 18 Feb 2019 12:09 am)

Jason Bayliss on The Spark ! (Mon, 18 Feb 2019 12:08 am)

An Aussie Farmer's Lot.

An Aussie Farmer's Lot.

 

Ah ! the sumptuosity of blessed

virgin flesh

the thoughts of carnal knowledge

as we hurry to undress

 

But soft; I hear the lowing

of an agitated cow,

such trial and tribulation

weigh heavy on my brow

 

Pray hold the moment madam

whilst I service Daisy-Bell

then take a soapy shower

to eradicate the smell !

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Aussie FarmerCarnal KnowledgeHumour

The Spark !

The Spark !

Old age comes upon you

like a creeping weed or vine

a subtle early warning

that you're running out of time

 

When we realized it had us

firmly in its grip

we decided to go fighting

so we really let it rip:

 

No more early nights

sipping tea and watching telly;

we bought the 'Kama Sutra'

and really gave it welly !

 

We cruised out to Austr...

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cruiseholidaykama sutraold age

Talking with god

Talking with god.

She reckoned she had been short-changed

When bosoms were allotted

So down she went on bended knee

To pray to him above;

"Your tits are fine," is all he said

And she replied, "Get knotted."

 

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BosomsGodPrayers

Haiku (Thailand)

 

Fat stone Buddhas sit

In opulent gold temples

While priests beg for food.

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BuddhaHaikuThailand

Monochrome Days: (Poetry for Schools)

Monochrome Days: (poetry for schools)

 

In the '50s and early '60s

gas was still the norm

in city streets and passageways;

at home to keep us warm

 

And during bleak mid-winters

when people used more coal

the air was thick and foggy

and illness took its toll

 

Us children knew no better;

life had always been like this

sore throats and runny noses

were i...

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Monochrome daysPoetry for Schools

The Cockroach (Poetry for Schools)

The Cockroach: (poetry for schools)

 

An elephant and a cuckoo

had been friends for many years,

then one day a cockroach

reduced them both to tears

 

He told them of the hardships

endured by bugs like him,

of being despised by mankind

and how he lost a limb

 

Being forced to live in sewers

and cellars, dark and dank

had given him rheumatism

arthritis an...

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Poetry for SchoolsThe Cockroach

Meltdown

Meltdown

 

The furnace of her loins

glowed red with passion

comcentrated lust

oozing from every pore

of her writhing body ;

THEN

THE

BLOODY

PHONE

RANG !

 

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LustMeltdownPassionPhone

Overlooked

Eliza cursed her name,

who in their right mind

would fetter their child

with an antique like that !

 

As a name it is centuries old

from the Old English

meaning "The Chosen"

 

Good god, she thought,

I am already forty years old

and still on the damned shelf;

how long does it take to choose ?

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The Smug Bastard

The Smug Bastard

He marched in triumph

at the head of his men

basking unjustly in adulation

aimed at the deeds performed

by his troops,

the smug bastard

 

His chest puffed out

like a carrier pigeon

selfish eyes seeking

to be sanctioned

by female admirers,

the smug bastard

 

Cruel, ambitious, self-centered

the lives of his men were only

a means of ...

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RetributionWar

The Gift (Limerick)

The Gift  (Limerick)

At the end of a trip to Tibet

I brought home for my daughter a pet

"You fool," said her Mamma

"She asked for a 'LLAMA'

You're short of one 'L' I regret."

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HumourLimerickLlama

Eternal

Eternal

She was the epicentre of his universe

as he was of hers

they were born to be one

their hearts beat in unison

they lived only for each other

 

Due to their condition

marriage was deemed inappropriate

they loved each other unconditionally

but never on a physical level

they knew not of such things

 

They were eventually united in death

only days apart

...

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EternalFaithTrue love

Continental Breakfast

Melted butter with sea salt crystals

dripped down the sides

of hot multi-grain toast.

The smell of cracked wheat and rye

fusing perfectly with the aroma of

coffee made from freshly ground beans.

 

Occupying the centre of the table

were various platters filled with delicacies

such as wafer thin slices of

mouth-watering Dutch cheese

and honey roast cured ham.

 

...

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BreakfastContinental

Mutual Admiration

Your dandruffed head which once was fair

Your sweaty armpits clogged with hair

Those sagging tits that touch your knees

That fluff-filled navel full of fleas

God ! you're sexy when you're bare.

 

And you my love are perfect man

Your dentures even have a tan

And though your willy's lost its zing

Eventually it still goes in

You're HOT........come take me while you can.

...

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AdmirationHotHumourLimerickPerfect ManSexy

Due back soon.

 

Sitting on a bus

packed with senior cits

each and every one

with some malfunctioning bits

 

Life is only borrowed

just like a library book

so returning it well worn

proves you did much more than look.

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Life

Innocence

Innocence

My mummy has a lovely pair

That's what my daddy said

And mummy loves his manly ass ;

I heard them from my bed

 

I'm not sure what it's all about

So I asked the kids at school

They said they didn't really know

But man it sounded cool !!

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Innocencemanly ass

British Passion

British Passion

They meshed their sexual organs

in a frenzied bout of passion

pumping, grinding, panting

'til they had their daily ration

 

The sight was truly wondrous

and fearsome to behold

it's something done by lovers,

at least that is what I'm told

 

There was no inhibition

they had stripped down to the core

with every piece of clothing

strewn across ...

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BritishPassionSex

Is there sex after death ?

 

Is there sex after death ?

A fascinating concept

But let's keep the topic formal

Are we talking Necrophilia

Or something Paranormal ?

 

If you intimate the former

I must caution self-restraint

It's illegal in this country

And I don't know where it ain't

 

But if you mean the latter

I submit this brief synopsis:

The outcome could be mutual

Between cons...

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CorpsesDeathNecrophiliaParanormalSex

All I saw was trees

 

I longed to see a forest

So I crossed the seven seas

But when I finally got there

All I saw was trees

 

So I headed for the mountains

A range called Pyrenees

But when I got much nearer

All I saw was trees

 

And then somebody told me

The Amazon would please

And guess what bloody happened ?

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ForestTrees

Disorientated (2)

 

Yesterday a policeman shit on my head

when I went to complain to a pigeon

about my gypsy being stolen by two cars.

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DisorientatedGypsyHumourPigeonPoliceman

My neighbour had a fluffy cat.

 

My neighbour had a fluffy cat

Cold, aloof and very fat

Now it's dead; her little Clover

Driving home I ran it over

Looks much better now it's flat !

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Limerick

Disorientated (1)

 

Having just spent a pleasant hour oiling the cat

and treating my bicycle with flea powder

I think I deserve a good beating

before I give the carpet a cup of tea.

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DisorientatedJumbleMind Games

Banged Up

 

"My how you've grown"

Said the kindly old dear.

"Last time I held you

you burped in my ear.

 

The truth of the matter

I just have to say

it's been twenty long years

since they put me away.

 

It's a long stretch of time

which I passed saving stamps

but that's what they gave me

for killing your Gramps.

 

I know you're an orphan

'cause I poisoned y...

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Black HumourCrimeEvilMurderOrphanPoisonPrison

Haiku X 2

Teardrops burst their banks

Brimming over as a flood

Of liquid emotion.

 

---------------------------------------

 

Skinless sausages

Nakedly flaunt their bodies

In the frying pan.

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Pubbing & Clubbing (late 60s / early 70s)

 

The pulsating beat

searing into your head

like a hot poker

 

The stench of stale beer

on a smoke-laden atmosphere

 

Clinking glasses

Euphoric screams

Skull-piercing strobe lighting

 

Empty condom machines

in toilets lit by ultraviolet

to deter drug users

 

Bouncers

Pushers

Pimps & Posers

 

Smooth-talking

gelatine-haired youths

cha...

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1960s/1970sClubbingPubbing

Morning Glory

Morning Glory

I woke up with a girl in my bed

It stunned me so here's what I said:

"My god you're attractive

are you sexually active?"

She replied, "Are you right in the head?"

............................

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HumourLimerick

The Protectors

THE PROTECTORS

They had stood over me since my birth

Watching, Protecting

Heads bowed in respectful silence

Friends who gave so much

Yet asked for nothing

 

I grew up sheltered by their love

Safe in their strength

Knowing that one day

I too would stand high

And bask in the light of life

 

Eventually they fell

One by one

Giving more light each time

Al...

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EnvironmentNatureTrees

Waiting for peace

My heart breaks for those

in care homes

sitting patiently

waiting to die

 

Sometimes remembering

who you are

sometimes silently crying

 

You wait with them

day by day

 

When you look into their eyes

there is nothing there

no fear, no desperation

and above all, no hope

 

In-between doses of morphine

when the pain makes them scream

they beg to...

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care homedyingloveold age

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