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Stu Buck

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:45

no but i think the guy up the road at 54 has a more spacious garden, possibilities there perhaps

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:40

Wow, I've never experienced such heart break but I could vividly imagine it thanks to your poem.

Comment is about Insomnia (blog)

Original item by Dalton Beston

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:37

That's true talk.
When I read the first line I thought truth isn't that tricky,
but then you went on and fleshed out your conception that all I could do is nod and agree with your poem.
I believe no one teaches us to lie, we just resort to it for a false sense of security due to our fallen nature and bad habits.

Comment is about Truth and Lies (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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John Coopey

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:35

Stu - does your neighbour at 33 have one you could rent?

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Stu Buck

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:13

this is an excellent poem chris. really enjoyed it. took me to loads of different places, from fenrir and the fjords to northanger abbey and back again. lovely gothic feel but with real hints of sunshine peeking through.

Comment is about L'Eremita (blog)

Original item by Chris Laverty

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Stu Buck

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:11

great stuff john. never got the chance to have a shed (small garden) but at 31 i still hold out hope.

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Stu Buck

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:09

written with all the skill of a master id say. have to agree, the nuzzle/humpty line is a classic. great stuff.

Comment is about FOX (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Stu Buck

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:08

i like this a lot. the first line is brilliant and i dont mind the exposition so much, the last two lines are especially nice.

Comment is about Stellatus (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

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Stu Buck

Tue 10th Jan 2017 17:07

how lovely. so short and yet very sweet.

Comment is about Show me (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

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Jeff

Tue 10th Jan 2017 16:52

Love the almost serreal feeling it paints for me.....Jeff...

Comment is about 'The carbon cycle' by Alex Smith is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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raypool

Tue 10th Jan 2017 16:43

Hi Tommy, I think that you have been clever here to examine the role of poetry and how it can be too sassy or impressive to really deliver - some of us are caught up in a storm of wonderment . Maybe it is a symptom of us today that we like all the add- ons in our lives and should all go back to solidity for a while at least. For some reason I was reminded of a sort of rubik cube with this poem!

regards, Ray

Comment is about Wandering expositions (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Martin Elder

Tue 10th Jan 2017 15:27

well I for one think its pretty good. Well done everyone.

Comment is about January 2017 Collage Poem - Hungover (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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Martin Elder

Tue 10th Jan 2017 15:25

very good Tommy. Right on the money with this one.

Comment is about Wandering expositions (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Martin Elder

Tue 10th Jan 2017 15:21

Thank you all.

Thanks Hazel and Colin for saying I am not preaching. This is good because I don't always relate well to teenagers. But these guys were just walking down the street in twos and threes enjoying themselves and it was joy to see.
Thus I take your point Ray about not judging and the amount of bad press they get.
elp you are so right about the innocence that exists there. It is so easy for them not to realise what they don't know.

Paul and Colin I am glad you like the rhythm of the piece, it just came to me as I saw them. I am not sure whether I had been listening to some music in the car but suspect I had been which would have helped with the overall pace, but also with the way they carry themselves.

Cynthia it is always pleasure to have you read my work I am grateful and hope to see you soon.



once again
Thank you all. I am always humbled when other poets like my poems

Martin

Comment is about Not yet sixteen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 10th Jan 2017 12:31

It's terrific to have you back in the North. And active.

Comment is about Steve O'Connor (poet profile)

Original item by Steve O'Connor

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Nicola Hulme

Tue 10th Jan 2017 11:48

Hi Martin,

Fabulous poems as ever last night, well done.

I had to write and say Kate Tempest - wow! Thank-you so much for pointing me in her direction. I'm watching her perform at The Royal Court and am blown away.

Yet again I'm reminded of how high the bar is!

Nic x

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

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Paul Waring

Tue 10th Jan 2017 11:16

Thanks Graham, dirty postcard humour sauciness got the better of me for the final lines....😉

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 10th Jan 2017 10:06

There is definitely something about this piece!
There's a mystique which defies my ability to get to the heart of this.
I want to know more Alex!

Comment is about 'The carbon cycle' by Alex Smith is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 10th Jan 2017 10:03

Yeh! Well put like that I guess you're bang on Paul.
It could be any of us (blokes). Less said the better 😜

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Paul Waring

Tue 10th Jan 2017 09:58

Thank you Col, I'm incredibly grateful to you for such glowing appreciation of Adolescent 1972, honestly, I'm deeply touched. It's strange and wonderful this process of writing poetry, isn't it? Once I had the first 6 words and the idea to describe the boy to man transition, I soon had a head full of lines! I decided not to include several other lines about clothes (button-downs, parallels, como shoes and Crombie coat) as they distracted from the last line! Paul

Comment is about Colin Hill (poet profile)

Original item by Colin Hill

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Paul Waring

Tue 10th Jan 2017 09:39

Thank you Col, I'm incredibly grateful to you for such glowing appreciation of this piece, honestly, I'm deeply touched. It's strange and wonderful this process of writing poetry, isn't it? Once I had the first 6 words and the idea to describe the boy to man transition, I soon had a head full of lines! I decided not to include several other lines about clothes (button-downs, parallels, como shoes and Crombie coat) as they distracted from the last line! Paul

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Paul Waring

Tue 10th Jan 2017 09:24

Ray, I love this too, it captures the sharp and stealthy nature of the fox so well, and more great lines, including "nuzzles the bins, their humpty backs". Thanks for posting this. Paul

Comment is about FOX (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 09:11

this is very enjoyable and trips off the tongue joyfully Sharvari 😄

Comment is about My Story (blog)

Original item by Sharvari

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 09:07

love this and love them.

I like that you get straight to the point with 'sad ignoble fox' - that Mr Fox has been forced to come to the big city to make a living and has now become a scrawnier version of his country cousin.

I can't help but think there is an analogy hidden here - with migrants past and present who have moved from country to city and ended up scraping a living in the slums and shanty towns of the poor - where they 'may strive may thrive' and 'where death may hide' in the search for food and a better life.

Cheers
Col

Comment is about FOX (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Raj Ferds

Tue 10th Jan 2017 09:03

Like it Aishah,

It looked like it was heading for a fatalistic end and then the twist. You rise again like the phoenix...
"blissfully climb forever."

Raj

Comment is about You're too complacent (blog)

Original item by Alonelymouse

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:57

excellent Paul - the first two lines are a masterclass in how to start a poem with just 6 well chosen words spread equally over two lines and you follow this with liberal smatterings of x's and double consonants - seed, shedding, bumfluff, uttering, attract, bass, opposite. As Rose pointed out, simply written but the language is beguiling and breathtaking in equal measure which makes it a joy to read. Top stuff. Col.

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:49

some great lines here Leo - in order of personal preference I would say verse 4, then 1,2,3. Thanks for posting, Colin

Comment is about Winter's Wolf (blog)

Original item by Leo

Gideon Puccio

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:29

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:25

interesting idea although I find the explanation of the idea at the end somewhat unpoemy and wonder could it have been expressed another way within the main body of the poem? Just a thought but this made me stop and think and read a few times so thanks for posting EJS.

Comment is about Stellatus (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:20

show me laughter
more beautiful
than a poem

Comment is about Show me (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:19

Brrr!!!

Comment is about SILLY OLD MAN (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

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Colin Hill

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:17

mixed emotions - interesting concept for a poem which could be expanded and made more complicated - thanks for posting Piper.

Comment is about I Hate You (blog)

Original item by Piper Mandle

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Hazel ettridge

Tue 10th Jan 2017 07:15

Love the last 3 lines.

Comment is about SILLY OLD MAN (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

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Raj Ferds

Tue 10th Jan 2017 07:12

Frozen assets come to mind Lynn.
Keep them coming!!

Raj.x

Comment is about SILLY OLD MAN (blog)

Original item by lynn hahn

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Nicola Hulme

Mon 9th Jan 2017 21:32

A wonderful night again, thankyou Stockport WOL. For David and John, the poem we were trying to remember was "Adlestrop" by Edward Thomas (1878-1917). I had to find it or I would have been awake all night!

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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Hazel ettridge

Mon 9th Jan 2017 21:02

Love this. Clever, funny, nerve touching. Best line for me 'remains to be seen'. I hope so - speaking as a remain.

Comment is about Politicks and other creepy crawlies (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

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Paul Waring

Mon 9th Jan 2017 18:04

Thank you Rose for another warm and encouraging response. I have read your bio and fully agree with you about writing using simple language and I too find Larkin's writings an inspiration. Thanks to the encouragement from you and others on here, I'm enjoying writing like never before! Paul

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Rose Casserley

Mon 9th Jan 2017 17:23

with all respect Paul,although a simplistically written piece,you have very cleverly used those simple words to carve out some brilliant images.

When,and if you would like to read my bio,you will see there how I hit on the fact,that in my opinion,it is actually harder to concoct such images-with-the use of simple words.

Hence my adoration,of most of Larkins poems.Brilliantly clear,understandable and above all sooo relatable.


Keep them coming-please!




Rose 💋

Comment is about Adolescent 1972 (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Rose Casserley

Mon 9th Jan 2017 16:55

thank you gentlemen.A terrible affliction indeed.VERY spooky that you should have made a reference to loud music etc Col.That is also referred to in my next poem.

My beloved Grandfather passed away some time ago,and is now at peace.We have all rallied around my beloved Grandmother ever since.Tough,funny girl that she is.


Thanks again Colin and Paul.



Rose 💋💋

Comment is about early symptoms (blog)

Original item by Rose Casserley

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John Coopey

Mon 9th Jan 2017 15:55

Paul/Colin - thanks for your thoughts.
I did melodise my passion for sheds (I've got 4) with a re-work of the Cat Stevens song perfected by PP Arnold, "Your First Hut is the Cheapest".

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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raypool

Mon 9th Jan 2017 15:29

Thanks Mark, indeed a tragedy when seen from a global perspective; my thoughts went to the lone drifters.

Ray

Comment is about APRIL 14 1912 (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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raypool

Mon 9th Jan 2017 15:16

This really needs concentrating on to get the full benefit, Steve and having read it carefully it revealed a lot , out of random objects possibilities are considered and highlighted. A very revealing insightful poem.

Ray

Comment is about What is it and what could it be? (blog)

Original item by Steve O'Connor

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Trevor Wainwright

Mon 9th Jan 2017 15:07

Great comment on Which Rev, love it

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Trevor Wainwright

Mon 9th Jan 2017 15:06

Thanks for comments on Which Rev

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Raj Ferds

Mon 9th Jan 2017 14:48

Thanks Trev. Worthy extensions.

Raj

Comment is about WhatsApp Geezer? (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

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Colin Hill

Mon 9th Jan 2017 14:34

'bout bloody time too lad, bin missin' yer 🙌 welcome back!

Comment is about I (blog)

Original item by Matt

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Paul Waring

Mon 9th Jan 2017 14:14

Thanks M.C. I'm sure what you say passed through my Dad's head but, fortunately, his respectful and gentle nature helped him to avoid losing self-control.

And thanks again to everyone for taking the time to express such caring, thoughtful comments. Paul

Comment is about JustGoJustGoJustGo (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Paul Waring

Mon 9th Jan 2017 14:04

John, enjoyed reading this very much and the nice touches of humour. I can't really say much more due to an overwhelming feeling of shed envy!! Paul

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Colin Hill

Mon 9th Jan 2017 13:32

you need a shed extension JC - might we see you featured on a future edition of George Clarke's Amazing Spaces?

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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John Coopey

Mon 9th Jan 2017 13:28

Thanks for the suggestions, MC. I am struggling for room for more conveniences. I have a filter coffee machine, kettle, microwave, log burner, radio/CD player, library, wardrobe, Christmas tree and gas barbecue in there now. It really is just the bed I need.

Comment is about VILLANELLE FOR A SHED (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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