If you pay me,

I’ll say daylight is black,

I’ll say the sun is blue,

The moon’s held up with glue.

If you pay me.

 

If you pay me,

I’ll say the square is round,

Your friend fell through a crack,

The world is safe and sound.

If you pay me.

 

If you pay me,

I’ll give you the nod,

Get you in the squad,

Make room up on the stack.

If you pay me.

 

If you pay me,

I’ll deal you the jack,

Put your mind at rest,

Turn East into West.

If you pay me.

 

If you pay me,

The old will be the new,

You’ll be spotted on the track,

Signed up with the few.

If you pay me

 

If you pay me,

You’re doing me a favour,

Blank spaces I shall savour,

You can sit me at the back.

If you pay me.

 

If you pay me,

I’ll say you need a smack,

But I won’t step out of line,

And risk a hefty fine.

If you pay me.

 

If you pay me,

I’ll pretend I don’t possess,

Something that you lack,

Your jealousy caress.

If you pay me.

 

If you pay me,

I’ll turn on the charm,

Your guilt I shall disarm,

Prevent your going back.

If you pay me.