re '...and thus it goes.'

I think you are close here.

Tommy

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

re '...and thus it goes.'
you got it all wrong Cynthia.

Tommy

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks, Ray - not sure about the "old, red-polled" suggestion - the internal rhyme might be better but how would it fit into the dactylic rhythm of the piece?

Anyone recognise why it follows that rhythm in any case? Who provided the (unfashionable) inspiration?

Comment is about Meadow Melody (blog)

Original item by C Richard Miles

I've been to the school play myself today and discovered, to my surprise, that we've a daughter who can act!

In crammed airless hall

Two hours of my life stolen

That's from a previous poem on same subject?

The "be it bark, be it hide" is a good line.
I thought you made too much of the piss, though, to be honest. I felt it would have been a nice humorous aside but as it is it's dominating the poem.

Comment is about The School Play 2 (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Enjoyed this,Dave.
This is a great line

Our optimised projections bring it out at eighty two

I think the rhyming of all with all near the end is a bit unfortunate.

Comment is about Political Statement - The Latest Decree (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

You do good sonics. 2nd and 3rd verses are best, I think, though dimness is better than dim sense? These 5 lines are really good.
All summer long in the strong, blinding sunshine, the kine graze,

Nibbling the timothy, fescue and rye grass, that high grass

Hiding the hollows, where tussocks of sedge deck the marsh edge.

Should be "old, red-polled" I think.

Bulls on the hillocks are wickedly bitten by big ticks.

Under the sun comes the hum of the irritant insects

Comment is about Meadow Melody (blog)

Original item by C Richard Miles

hmph ! s'all Greek to me

Comment is about Political Statement - The Latest Decree (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

Amy Houston, you've said some very kind things, thank you very much. I'm really not a fantastic poet - I write the occasional good one like The Care Pathway, but I also write a lot of dross. But I do try to turn the dross into gold - I am persistent!

Comment is about Amy McCawley (poet profile)

Original item by Amy McCawley

Frighteningly true!Sometimes humour can highlight what is wrong with our society more that rants. This, all though funny, is incredibly perceptive and hits the mark!
Cate xx

Comment is about Political Statement - The Latest Decree (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

Thanks, Steve and Isobel. So many Jeremies, so little venom. Actually, you know, I really love this poem, one of my favourites.

Comment is about Jeremiad (blog)

Orr Im almost there with you this is so vivid! Ive been there many times..... although the urine is a new one... how unpleasant! Im sure Maria was wonderful her confidence is quite remarkable for one so young. I loved reading this!
Cate xx

Comment is about The School Play 2 (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Shame I'll just miss it. I'm coming up to Yorkshire for the first couple of weeks in August to visit relatives. It would have been nice to meet up with some of the poets on this site and revisit one of my favourite spots.

Hope it goes well & without too many midges (even at Midgehole!)

Comment is about Join fellow poets for a walk in Ted Hughes' stamping ground (article)

Original item by Julian Jordon

Like this Ray. going to show a few of my student friends. Will send you feedback. I have a feeling they will enjoy this.

Comment is about The Student (blog)

I really liked reading this Ray. Short but very sensual and suggestive.

Comment is about Mmmm (blog)

I really enjoyed reading this, if I am completely honest I cried Ray.

What need of teeth!

A swallowing reflex defunct

as your speech and vision.

You can only listen

to the insistent dripping

of metal and plastic.

A thousand unanswered phones

are the music you die to

This verse really got to me (my Gran, who raised me had multiple strokes before the end), you are such a fantastic poet. I love reading you, you find such a way of sharing the things we struggle so hard to face in a way that inspires me to face my own shit in my writing.

Comment is about The Care Pathway For The Dying Phase (blog)

Excellent.
If only we had scratch and sniff poetry.
Dave

Comment is about The School Play 2 (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I enjoyed your other posts today, Izz, but particularly liked this. So vivid.

Comment is about The School Play 2 (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Alan,
I too like form poetry and enjoyed this.
I like vague galactic visions' aftermath.
Dave

Comment is about Inevitable [a sonnet] (blog)

Original item by Alan Morrison

Thanks. The last line is from Aleister Crowley (often referred to as the father of modern satanism, but he was actually the founder of a religion rather than a satanist) and it basically says don't stress over petty ethical issues of ambiguous value. The piece was written in response to hearing an Alan Ginsberg about seeing a sunflower growing amongst a heap of junked cars and him somehow thinking that the sunflower was in some way better than the junked cars.

Comment is about Building the future (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

As a person who takes ages to throw away flowers, even after the petals have fallen off - I love this! "beauty in decay"

Comment is about Ring of Roses (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Very moody!

Started out so pleasantly, great descriptions, liked the imagery and then the seeming meaness of trampling the dandelion caught me off guard...

Overall I enjoyed this piece and the last line hangs ponderously.

Comment is about Building the future (blog)

Original item by Dermot Glennon

Such a lovely piece, flows well, mesmerizing and romantic with enough ambiguity to keep the reader guessing...

Comment is about Inevitable [a sonnet] (blog)

Original item by Alan Morrison

Been there, done that, got the ... 2 glasses??? -- what brew were you drinking?

Comment is about Tainted Wings (blog)

Original item by Isobel

John, thank you for the comment on "Inevitable". I love form too. Especially the sonnet. To me, it is perfection. No room to be trendy in a sonnet! :-)

The word "did" just came naturally. Honest! It's the old way of talking tensewise. I'm old-fashioned that way. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from writing thees and thous! I think I come from sometime between the 14th and 16th centuries :-D

Thanks again for the comment!

Alan

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Good morning Ann.As to my clothes being'loud and never square' you would have been right had this been the sixties.One fad in that era was emulating the Hendrix style,I can just see myself now long black trenchcoat,stripey flare jeans,white patent leather slip-ons,
pyschedelic shirt complete with cravat,and a backcombed hairstyle that stood up twice as long as Ken Dodds(hair) and sporting a mexican moustache.Dressed in that fashion I once walked into the vault of our local pub,mostly frequented by flat cappers and ferret lovers.I have always wondered why a hush suddenly fell over the room? as for my present day sackcloth attire?well at least it matches the dozen hairs on my head-not to mention my skin-all over(as it usually is) cheers-Stef.xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

John, thank you. I love form too. Especially the sonnet. To me, it is perfection. No room to be trendy in a sonnet! :-)

The word "did" just came naturally. Honest! It's the old way of talking tensewise. I'm old-fashioned that way. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from writing thees and thous! :-D

Thanks again for the comment!

Comment is about Inevitable [a sonnet] (blog)

Original item by Alan Morrison

Excellent Alan.
I'm drawn towards "form" and this is very good.
I particularly like the way it can be read seemingly without any heavy rhythm, but with that persistent iambic heartbeat underneath.
(Not terribly keen on the word "did" in the 10th line - it feels like a bit of a spacer to make the syllable count up (I think I'm being picky!).
Very enjoyable.

Comment is about Inevitable [a sonnet] (blog)

Original item by Alan Morrison

love your poem mum, i like the way its not sentimental about the nature of the sea. Ive heard that drowning is in fact very painful as your lungs explode with water!! I agree youve caught that beguiling nature.
its fun to think the moon and the sea might have an army of mermen and that they want to claim female souls, probably maxed out on smelly male sailors ;) keep posting.

Comment is about silver lady midnight moon (blog)

It is such an evocative smell. One came through our station the main line the other day and sent me right back to childhood.

Comment is about I close my eyes (blog)

Original item by John Embley

haha-I answered before you Lynn-cos I can read your mind as I can right now...lets see...oh you are awful!-but I like you.-love as always-Stef.xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

maybe-

like toxic kisses?

very neat all the same-thanks Charlene.

Comment is about Second haiku (blog)

oh that old sulphurous smell from soot throated funnels eh John.And indeed how mums to wipe little faces with licks on the hanky-blimey! that takes me back.enjoyed the poem.thank you.

Comment is about I close my eyes (blog)

Original item by John Embley

those two lines hit me-

'I don,t mind either
or anything'

great poem-ta Josh.

Comment is about Proudly Idle (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

Brilliant news!

Comment is about Jailed Bahrain poet is freed (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Kealan, dunno whether you're male or female. but you have some fantastic literary skills. I get the feeling you're quite passionate about your writing. and i guess that when you're in the zone you cannot get the words down quick enough. this to me shows real talent and you know I am feeling envious of you for the talent you have. just brilliant work Kealan and don't let yourself down by thinking that you're 'shit,' at it.

keep on, you got the gift.

best wishes

mike

x

Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Aw! The last stanza is a tearjerker.

Brilliant yet again. I am not going to post any more comments for now. Your work has blown me over. And i don't want to seem an obsessive about your work but fekk me Kealan, you got some real talent.

Stay well

Mike

xxx

Comment is about The Volunteer Creature (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

HURRAH-HURRAH-HURRAH! wifey and I are well chuffed that you are okeydokey Lynn-now get those blummin fingers typing! lotsa love from uz-xx...ps-catch you later-just off for a butty.xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Kealan, yep, i can hear the humor in this work. Yet it also speaks of obsession to me. It reminds me of the thinking of the main protagonist in the novel, American Psycho by Brett Eastern Ellis. He often goes on a ramble or rant, and even though it is well written, the obsession itself can be rather toe curling. If you ever pick it up, and get to the part where he is bathing you will understand, although the content in this is different, the obsession is there. A positive criticism i would give it, is to not use too many full stops and commas, for the fluidity is a little lacking. But yes, despite the bitterness you get the feeling of its humor and the last line makes it all worth while. I have tried something similar, writing train of thought about my experiences on return from the Gulf. in my rant i mention the food, the potatoes and eating in such a manner one could get the impression i 'know' about starving. This work does actually say something of this to me too. Yep. Brilliant Kealan. You got talent, don't waste it. Keep writing.

best wishes

Michael

xxx

Comment is about Excerpt from novel. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Hi Marc, some very impressive poems here, will have to come back for another read. Thank you so much for your kind comments on mine. Lynn x

Comment is about Marc Anthony (poet profile)

Original item by Marc Anthony

I gots to say this in a streetwise kinda way to imbue upon you how good this work is, so i just wanna say,

FEKKIN DECENT KEALAN, FEKKIN DECENT.

ahem! Sorry about that, fantastic work kealan. just absolutely fantastic.

Mike

Comment is about Nocturne (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Yep Kealan, some fantastic lines in this work. Brilliant.

rgds

Mike

Comment is about Keeping You Warm (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Hi Kealan, I really like this poem. I have not yet fathomed all its meaning and this in turn leaves me a little intrigued. But what i can gather is well thought out. In such short verse you have conjured many descriptive meanings and that takes talent. I suppose you may have to enlighten us as to the experience that has moved you to write these words. Good read Kealan.

Thanks for sharing,

keep writing and posting. You are one of the poets I make a point of reading whenever i see your work. It's good quality.

stay well

Best wishes from Mike

Comment is about Upas (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

(1st pikky)Anne thinking of Mark Philips-
...as though I have,nt had enoughof little pricks.
(2nd pikky)Jabba The Hutt to Beaver
are you still there....over..sorry....under!

Comment is about CAPTION THIS PIC! (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Thanks for your comment on MY CV John. I think I did feel like that for a short while after I retired but not any more I'm far too busy.

Comment is about John Embley (poet profile)

Original item by John Embley

thank you Steve I will look for Ann's piece :)

Comment is about silver lady midnight moon (blog)

There's not much which evokes fond memories of past childhood better than railways.
What will evoke such memories of today's kids I wonder - plane travel? i-pods? alco-pops? Don't seem to have the same pull, do they?

Comment is about I close my eyes (blog)

Original item by John Embley

Thank you for leaving me a comment Andy x

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

I don't know why this particular memory popped into my head, but it was insistent, and I couldn't get it out until I wrote these few lines last night ... sorry it's none too polished!

Comment is about I close my eyes (blog)

Original item by John Embley

This is a moving one. Lovely to see a brother voice these emotions also. Big northern families - there's nothing like them!

Comment is about the day of her leaving (blog)

You missed out Paxman...

Ha - this reminds me of a verse out of one of my old performance poems where I took a good pop at Jeremy Clarkson.

Fun and light hearted. I enjoyed it.

Comment is about Jeremiad (blog)