Aww this is lovely and thoughtfully put. I'd grow another pip.
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Hmm, aye *scratches chin* may well work that Cynth, ta!
Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Once again, thanks for looking in on my work. Your comments are much appreciated.
Looking at your bio I see you have completed some screenplays. I've done 3 myself, had them read by the BBC but not taken up. Others just come back in the post marked 'unread'. Poetry is so much simpler . .
Best wishes, Steve
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
don't want much there, m8. made me smile! agree with steve too. a bit of trimming may help it's impact more on the page.
Comment is about Dear Santa (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
This surely touches a chord with all who have
moved on. Back in the early 60s, my parents
lived in a small house in the sticks on the
Wiltshire/Berkshire border. Not long ago, my
brother and I took a motor trip on my birthday
to see the place. It was strange to see how
much it had been altered by occupants since
our time there. It was another home entirely -
even had an extension added. The lines above
capture perfectly the oddness one feels when
witnessing the palpable passing of time in this
"concrete" fashion.
Excellent!
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Time takes its toll but also contributes to the
"sum" of things...you could say it's "balance in
action".
Fit and fast and fancy-free,
Now old and slow and contented - me!
Comment is about I Miss The Man That I Used To Be (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hi Aaron - welcome to WOL. Be great if you felt like putting some of your poems on the blogs section. More people see them there than on the profile page.
Comment is about Aaron Dinsdale (poet profile)
Original item by Aaron Dinsdale
Hi Ernie - welcome to WOL. Be nice to see some of your work on the blogs section :)
Comment is about Ernie Burns (poet profile)
Original item by Ernie Burns
Hi Stella - welcome to WOL. A powerful piece here. It's good to write!
Comment is about Stella Stilinski (poet profile)
Original item by Stella Stilinski
Hi Isobel,
sometimes its foolish to look back at better times, but who can help it? -I certainly can't. Thanks for reading, Steve
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Chris,
Sorry I missed your Christmas do (not home in time) Still recovering. When recovered then back to the fray.
Love to Natalie and Glynis
Comment is about Chris Co (poet profile)
Original item by Chris Co
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 11th Dec 2013 22:19
theres a lot to be said for simple(no disrespect intended)humour.Nice one Thomas.x
Comment is about Billericay lido (blog)
Original item by Marnanel Thurman
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 11th Dec 2013 22:14
<Deleted User> (9882)
Wed 11th Dec 2013 22:00
Lynn,nice to see you blogging again,but! when do we get to know what-IS-'beneath the petticoats within'? is it a hot water bottle,or thermal bloomers? lol!x
Comment is about Secrets of the Willow (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Thank you for your welcome, glad to be here.
Comment is about Leslie Smith (poet profile)
Original item by Leslie Smith
I love this poem, Cynthia - it is so poignant and true and well written.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Very moving poem Cynthia, with a lovely balance of the structure and discipline of the tutor and the damage and poignancy within the boy.
I would imagine there might be a fair bit of 'disclosure', for want of a better word, when you are tutoring kids who do actually need more attention paid to them, as they are struggling elsewhere in their lives. I was a classic underachiever in school.
I saw the initial blog btw this morning, and came back to comment, and see you have made the changes. Great stuff.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
I'm glad you've put it to paper, Cynthia. Something like that would haunt me too. It's a strange thing this poetry business - it does allow you to exorcise stuff that otherwise would lay there - as if in some way you're making amends, by drawing attention to it.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
It sings - with great poetic skill.
Darren's point is excellent. So is yours. Perhaps you could combine the two. I think it works really well - honours the 'homage' idea and yet avoids a direct 'copy' effect that does jar your own line.
'May your flame spark gently in sunset tonight - unsurpassed.'
Comment is about McGarrigle’s Glasgow (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Isobel, thank you so much. My Mother Says is barely 'just finished', a couple of days only. I don't often post so quickly. Your comments are excellent and are now incorporated. This has been a work of the heart, on my mind for a long time. I couldn't have asked for a better response. I did consider calling it 'The Tutoring Lesson', but opted for the circular closing to optimize the 'shock' which I felt when this 'story' actually occurred. I'm hoping more than one theme runs through this work.
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Isobel, thank you so much. This is barely 'just finished', a couple of days only. I don't often post so quickly. Your comments are excellent and are now incorporated. This has been a work of the heart, on my mind for a long time.
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
I really like this.
I wonder if deep into the night
our voices from years ago
Might penetrate the years
and our echo may softly rebound
Across the walls we used to own.
I've gone back to areas I used to live in and looked at houses my kids grew up in - and it's a sad experience - beautifully expressed in those lines.
Comment is about Our House (blog)
Original item by Steve Higgins
Well put, classily considered. I couldn't agree more with your premise/s. It took three readings before I settled in to the ideas expressed because they are a 'mouthful' (as 'thoughts' themselves most definitely are.) Check your last stanza for a spelling/computer glitch. Great to see you on line again. I actually thought of you a couple of weeks ago, wondering where you might be. Compliments of the Season.
Comment is about Thoughts (blog)
Original item by Joshua Van-Cook
Oh - this is so sad Cynthia - but excellently portrayed - I can see the picture so clearly in my head.
If you were looking for any form of critique on it, I think I'd make it clearer somewhere that you are not the mother - I'm presuming that you are a tutor - perhaps you could say 'beside the tutor's table'?
I'd also get rid of some of the capital letters at the beginning of sentences, particularly in the verse which is all speech.
Finally, and I don't know quite why, for me it would work better if it was all reported in present tense - it would make it more immediate somehow.
I love the way the end ties in with the title - it's a poem with a punch!
Comment is about My Mother Says (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
You don't want much Ian!
I have to say that I'd be tempted to cut a few verses and make this shorter but thats only a personal feeling. Great poem.
best wishes,
Steve
Comment is about Dear Santa (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
this poem was written about 2003, things were a bit better than. I know myself a few ppl with varied degrees, not worth the paper theyre written on. quite bad considering the study and effort time. nevermind no jobs now. they agree on the number of jobs are less now.
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Nowadays, even people with degrees in demanding subjects are struggling to find jobs:
Angeline Scorgie, 21, biological sciences
'After graduating, Angeline did some temp work with an insurer but since then has been looking for work. She is now back living with her parents in south-west London. "I have struggled with the fact that a university degree doesn't mean anything anymore," she says.'
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
Since when did liberal arts/humanities degrees secure high incomes?
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/dec/05/graduate-employment-housemates
In fact, since when did they secure jobs?
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
i'm university educated actually, Nick. have been among it to a degree. hated it.
can't blame you for writing what you wrote here. too much snobbery in it.
good piece however.
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
nice piece again, emmy. the last line is particularly strong and finishes the piece off lovely. excellent.
Comment is about coming back (blog)
Original item by emmy92
here is my humble tribute. a great man without doubt. wish some of our recent PM's had been half as good.
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=40100
Comment is about Nelson Mandela: lighting candles around the world (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
projectRAW
Tue 10th Dec 2013 09:23
The RAW mic events at Annie's Bar (now called Hoot'N Annie's) are on hold over Christmas and New Year. Notice will be given as to when RAW mics and workshops commence again. For updates, be added to the mailing list by emailing projectraw@loudnlight.com
All the best to all creative people
CT/CamTan Ringel - CEO of Project RAW
Review is about RAW mic and poetry workshop on 30 Dec 2013 (event)
A whispered tickle of birdsong.
Why can't I think of words like that? A quite lovely piece.
Comment is about The Evergreens (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
I would just add to these above -
The company of those I love.
Comment is about Dear Santa (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
It is a really lovely poem. So well written, as ever.
Comment is about The Evergreens (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
A lovely poem, full of optimism, of that old 'putting things into perspective'
Comment is about Prison - Mandela thoughts (blog)
Original item by Ian Beckett
Fantastic poem - I absolutely love this, and identify with it very strongly.
Comment is about Poem for Nelson Mandela. (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
thank you Isobel, it is lovely to think you share same the same feeling.
take care.
Comment is about The Evergreens (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Isobel - I can put you out of your misery. Goose cheese comes from the goose and not the gander.
Lady Ha Ha - Yes indeed. I try to
"speak of things that matter
with words that must be said"
Comment is about Fairy Lights (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
It would be good to welcome some new (and returning members). You need to come in by the side door since, for security reasons, the front door isn't opened in the evening. Ring the bell for access. This sounds a bit like GCHQ, but we are not clandestine at all and really rather nice and welcoming! See you there, Maggie
Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport on Monday (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
leah
Sun 8th Dec 2013 14:03
RICHARD TYRONE JONES is 'all heart' at October's Write Angle
The rains didn't stop Write Angle from entertaining a full house – with Guest Richard Tyrone Jones and the Open Mic, as popular as ever. .Nor did it stop him arriving same day almost 'sleepless' from Seattle. An eventful journey included an unexpected airport return, just after ascent! Richard collapsed and couldn't breathe. Not enough beta blockers. He was rushed to hospital – as his plane resumed its flight!. Not a great way to arrive at your own performance – but if that doesn't define professionalism in show biz, what does!
Richard, 34 years old, had a suspected blood clot, stroke and enlarged heart (by 2 cms) at age 30. 'My heart almost died, (it stopped for 4 mins)' he said, and all I got was this lousy tee shirt' , he held up a gift given by a friend. Taking the humour of his health a step further, 'at least I got a book, show and CD out of it'. I don't think he's recommending anyone else go through what he did but he's created some great and witty poetry and stories, including describing the great specialist who treated him. 'How could he not have been. He was an 'ultra' sound man!' - the doctor who touched his knees 'a bit too often' and the stunning Italian medical student they sent in, whose multi-questionnaire made Richard fantasise that she was in love with him. When asking compère Jake 'how much time do I have left?' Jake's response led him to 'You're right. I'm now immortal. If I want to die, I'll have to cut my own wires!' The audience laughed.
He does wonder if holding a mock funeral on his 30th birthday, 'with many fatherless red haired children' (he has ginger red hair) didn't attribute to what followed.
His poem 'Passing', a tribute to 'any artist silenced by the government'. 'They took away her audience. They cut out her tongue. They lobotomised her so she fantasised. Finally, she scribbled on the sky'. A love poem, 'Security Marker' about a man painting all his valuables. 'He painted her every surface. When she stepped out naked on the balcony, those who saw a ghost, were wrong. Those who saw a spirit were wrong. Those who saw an angel, they only saw what I saw'.
Richard's poetry and stories, built around his heart, are 'full of heart' and he performs with confidence and emotion.
The Open Mic had a happy John Meriton guitar/singing 'It Wasn't So' , about seeing someone you think you know, and it isn't'. followed by 'Maybe all insects, like us, are looking for love'. (why not) He then was suddenly joined by audi maserati who as ever, creates humour as he steps on stage. 'I was hoping he'd come on' John told the audience. A great rendition of John's 'Rachman' song played along with Audi's, 'The Elegant Tony Ritz'. Both about evil men to whom money came first! The audience loved it.
Audi then announced, 'I just wanna look like a rock star' and, recited 'Cowboy Poem'.. Raised by she-wolves, had a bad childhood, killed for fun - his life changed when 'the theatre came to town. He met the girl of his dreams. Great poem. Great presentation – or should it be said 'he's a winner every time!
Bernardo Garces, first time at the mic, after attending WA often, translated a piece about 'Books' from Spanish to English.. 'I would ask for half a piece of bread and a book. Books are the same as saying love'. Every word spoke emotion.. Another welcome newcomer, recently from Spain, Andy Barker, read a rhyming story of a bullfighter, his wife, the Matador and the horse. It flowed easily and gave view to Spain's almost extinct sport. He talked of his 'other self' writing serious poetry while in Third World countries.
Barry Smith, just a 'wee bit' cynical, read of 'things ordered on computers. Stuff you really don't want but others believe you do!' 'Hello! Hot offers just for you!' Combat chapped lips, skin taped jeans – gears of war, the new judgement game!' Having been to an exhibition, where he was meant to be inspired by the paintings, he found the 'autobiographical reference of artists' stirred him more.. In 'Synoptic', 'Monet had myopia. Picasso couldn't wait to take his models apart'. Pollock splattered his way as Jack the Dripper'. Clever stuff. The audience was hysterical. Then, 'Vital Statistics', 'I know it's true – because I read it in a book! (laughter was heard) '5% of the Universe is made up of atoms. 95% of the oceans are unexplored,.and on, up to 50% of the human genome is shared with a banana'.A strong poet with a good sense of humour and exploring mind!
Chris Sangster read 'Autumnal Theme', sharing memories of his holiday in Corfu. 'Seasons drawing to a close, toys hang listless in the breeze', the stirring reds and golds soon to be winter – to grow and re-new. - appropriately timed -. Jake Claret, Compère, read 'No Surprises', about his daughter's new tattoo. 'I knew you wouldn't mind me being nude...but that tattoo!'. Then, 'Rood Words' referring to an Ecumenical conference in Westminster Cathedral. '99 people of all religions speak of peace. Do they really want it'. Leah read about her dream that Carphone Warehouse told the truth about mobiles being rubbish. David Roberts read 'Anything Else', a conversation between passenger and taxi driver. (Not Woody Allen, was it?) followed by 'why do Hollywood endings have to be happy. Don't sad endings say so much more?' - (hoping that didn't apply to David's last poem about Madeline McCann)!
Duncan Filer performed his first poems from memory! (good work!) - about politicians. 'People, people, people..let us make hay on this bright Orwellian day'. Then, ''We're fighting the wrong war. Maybe we should be fighting plasma TV, and a boy playing modern warfare!' Dave Allen took all summer to write a poem about the beach, excluding nothing! The threatening sky, 'how can feet get grilled when you're so chilled' – the guy in speedos sees those torpedo. What torpedoes? Enter 'Alsatian invasion'! (why does Attila the Stockbroker come to mind?)
The audience travelled with Dave all the way to the bitter end, howling between laughter and horror but so painfully beautiful! Dave's got to make it up there! So much talent! Finally, Sven Stears, doing 'The Old Man At The Bus Stop'. - a lifetime of journey painted on his skin, leaving scars of maps for someone to follow'. Then, 'Career Advice'. Pointing to various audience members, 'You should be an elephant technician where endangered conversations weep'. 'You, a consultant to the barrier reef', - a paparazzi to the stars. No one wants to be a zero in their own fantasy'. Sven is now in Canterbury having been commissioned to write a poem. We wish him luck!
All in all, a very good evening with lots of variations and themes! Not to forget the lucky winner of two free meals at Tai Tong, the wonderful Chinese restaurant right in Petersfield
Review is about WRITE ANGLE POETRY & MUSIC +OPEN MIC on 15 Oct 2013 (event)
thanks for the comments on 'moving on' Steve - very kind of you
Ian
Comment is about Steve Higgins (poet profile)
Original item by Steve Higgins
thanks for the comment on 'Moving On' MC - I've been going through a very inward-looking phase recently - I'd better give myself a kick up the jacksie and start thinking more positively.
BTW - just seen a brilliant documentary on the Discovery Channel called 'inside the target car' which shows, once and for all, that there was only 1 shooter and that shooter was in the TBD - fantastic use of state of the art forensics to duplicate all possible conditions and trajectories - if you get a chance to see it it's a must for laying some of the myths out flat :-)
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
thanks for your kind comment on 'Desolation Alley' Andy - pleased that you liked it mate
Ian
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
they can stick to their own little prissy worlds and clicks if you ask me. I do what I want, write what I want and this is an example lol. they live on a different planet.
Comment is about ROUND ONE (blog)
Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER
cheers, andy. started as a gag this one really, but as they say i believe you always end up putting part of yourself in any poem you write. in this case, i'm still not saying which bit of course - lol
Comment is about Strange Love (blog)
Original item by Gray Nicholls
Hi Ann - yes the comment was a response to the whole thing - poem film and soundtrack. It works well - looking forward to more.
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Sat 7th Dec 2013 17:41
Thanks M.C.
Expected hate mail
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Thanks for the kind comment on my owl poem. But I hope you were able to access the film and soundtrack too? Just click on the link - cos the poem itself is an oldie :)
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Starfish
Thu 12th Dec 2013 15:12
Marauding Vikings, fairy lights and now this excellent, poignant piece. What a varied repertoire.
Comment is about I Miss The Man That I Used To Be (blog)
Original item by John Coopey