Really effective formatting; pumps like blood through the head and heart. The title is superb.

And you're concerned about 'good' and 'better' writing! You are always your own best judge. There are really no 'rules'. Just results. And you have innate power.

Comment is about grief in e-minor (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

The image is deliberate Cynthia.
The Buddha never fails to enlighten me.

Raj

Comment is about The elusive sage (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

On the other hand, I don't feel so much 'pain' as rogue-ish hilarity. I think laughter is a huge benefit to any relationship. Fab subject. Good rhyming!

Comment is about MARRIAGE VOWS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Imaginative format, and insightful concept of Universal Love. Is the particular image deliberate, or whimsical?

Comment is about The elusive sage (blog)

Original item by Chakraj

A very personal heartfelt poem and I think it has a lovely resonance , a hard and final quality that got my attention . Some experiences are so real when put into words like these.

Ray

Comment is about The Passing of love (blog)

Original item by Neill Barnard

Uniquely descriptive like a torrent hardly contained - an unmistakeable style you have made your own Stu. This makes us sit up and take notice - it feels like examining a wound.

Ray

Comment is about grief in e-minor (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Thank you for the comment elP ?

Comment is about Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus (blog)

Original item by Simon Widdop

Thanks elP, you've sparked my interest in Harrison Bergeron, I've been reading about it on wikipedia. And you posit something else that's got me thinking about the awareness and frustration about not having the same energy/hunger/drive/or whatever that we had in our 'prime' to be able to utilise and capitalise on the knowledge and wisdom we've aquired. But, having said that, I wouldn't want to turn the clock back (well not until last week of October anyway!).

Thanks again elP for reading and for your stimulating comments.

Paul

Comment is about A So-So So and So (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Gripping stuff Stu, really raw emotion and pain running all the way through this. Marvellous read.

Paul

Comment is about grief in e-minor (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Cor Ray, maybe there is a fate worse than death after all ? I can hear and feel the pain here....?

Paul

Comment is about MARRIAGE VOWS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Thank you for your comment. How right you are. Keith

Comment is about darius manning (poet profile)

Original item by darius manning

Thanks for the kind review Martin. I am aspiring to continue evolving as a poet...I wrote this with a thesaurus handy because I really wanted to paint a vivid picture.

Comment is about Delightfully blown away (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

It's a short story so much the shorter. The images within are beautiful and sad, and the ending is breathtaking.

elP

Comment is about Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus (blog)

Original item by Simon Widdop

You know, Maria, I can remember saying the same thing. But, though I know the roots of the double standard you speak of run deep, I believe that human kind will overcome. I am a single mother of a teenage son and have done my utmost best to talk with him about the realities of our human sexuality. Maybe, as sexism becomes less prevalent, more mothers are learning to talk with their sons more openly and to share the feminine experience with them. We should be proactive in preventing violence, of all kinds.

elP

Comment is about Asking for it (blog)

Original item by Maria Renea

I'm happy to hear there's an upside to this for you, Martin. You'll be in my thoughts as you mend.

elP

Comment is about I am arisen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

whoooah..I shudder at the thought...

elP

Comment is about MARRIAGE VOWS (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Hello, Juan. I wanted to respond to this when you first posted it, yet, I was simply too exhausted from work. Anyhow, if you care to, look into the history of IQ tests and some of the nefarious purposes for which they've been designed in the past--you may be truly astonished. I don't doubt that most true scientists would readily relinquish all bias, yet, there may be a remnant who would disguise falsehoods within the cloak of science for the sake of furthering one agenda or another.

It's a very interesting topic, Juan, and one worth exploring.

elP

Comment is about Test the test (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

I don't mean to make too far a stretch, here, yet this does remind me of "Harrison Bergeron". I mean, what are the chances that there's an additive in the water that makes us age at an increased rate in order for the powers that be to make sure that our wisdom doesn't catch up with our youth and enable us to really shake things up?

That's a run-on question, I can see..I hope you're able to sort it out..if not, just ask for clarification, if you please.

elP

Comment is about A So-So So and So (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

I have to agree with Martin and David, and might I just say that it's a great observation on how unique we each are in handling strong emotions like grief. I don't know enough to get into the psychobiological factors affecting such things, though I'm sure that there are many elements at play within such confined temporal experiences.

btw, I was just reading that, "the key of E minor is also popular in heavy metal music, as its tonic is the lowest note on a standard-tuned guitar."--very fitting.

elP

Comment is about grief in e-minor (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Hi There, What a surprise to see an Urdu? ghazal on these pages complete with radif & qafia and takkhalus in the last sher etc. could we have a translation I wonder as I and many on here don't unfortunately speak Urdu. Win

Comment is about POETRY PASSION (blog)

Original item by AATIF

A sublime and eloquent homage to the moment of lucid cohesion of heart, mind, and soul. The muse is strong in this one. Btw, i read your profile i thought you might like a quote i enjoy, though I feel you are well aware of it. "The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity."
Robert Anthony

Comment is about Inspiration (blog)

Original item by keith jeffries

Thank you Paul. Let´s press on and write more good poetry. Keith

Comment is about Paul Waring (poet profile)

Original item by Paul Waring

Hi Keith, firstly, sorry for the slightly delayed reply, I have only just spotted your comment. Thank you very much for your kind words about my poems. I was so pleased to read that have you enjoyed what I've written, especially Nostalgia which was my first attempt at writing in this style. I was really encouraged by the response it received.

I hope you are enjoying being part of the WoL community, I have been on here since December last year and have really benefited from it. Sincere best wishes with your writing Keith.

Cheers,

Paul

Comment is about keith jeffries (poet profile)

Original item by keith jeffries

Thanks Stu, your insightful comment has nailed this piece!
Great, as ever, to hear from you.

Paul

Comment is about Stalker (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thanks so much Martin, reading your comment makes me stop and think how mundane I probably am without realising it!

Oh well, what the hell ?

Paul

Comment is about A So-So So and So (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

glad you liked the Joni song Suki. I think The Hissing of Summer Lawns album was definitely one of her career high points. Hope you find time to listen, it's all probably on YouTubious. My other fave is Edith & The Kingpin:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7FP4FEDWrA

when I was finding the link for this I came across a version by George Michael - how inspired, it's as if parts of this songs were written for him:

the big man arrives
disco dancers greet him
plainclothes cops greet him
big man, small town, fresh lipstick glistening

Comment is about Nocturne Dance (blog)

Original item by Suki Spangles

There is so much drama, tension and emotion her Stu to grip the reader, Marvellous stuff. Even better when it's read out loud.

Comment is about grief in e-minor (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

sorry Graham, but no follow up planned. this was a true story (albeit with a bit of a twist on it) and that is how it ended. maybe the end would have read better if I'd have built the story up more prior to the policeman spotting the dead dog.
glad you enjoyed it.


thanks again Colin


Cheers kevin

Comment is about 'Driving through Grimstone Low' by Kevin is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks for that Colin. I know I have to be careful. I don't take this lightly as this is the third time this has happened to me in the last eleven years so I am beginning to watch for the warning signs. Sorry to hear about your dad that can't have been easy for your my friend. Every blessing to you and thanks for taking the time to comment.
cheers
Martin

Comment is about I am arisen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Many thanks Juan, David, Paul and Stu for reading this and your comments. Fortunately I am moving on from where I was when I wrote this poem. I think you have hit the nail on the head David. My biggest frustration has been wanting to get out walk and get back on my bike again. The upside is have spent a lot more time writing a book I have been working on. hoping to get back to work next week.
Thanks again guys
much appreciated

Comment is about I am arisen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

my best wishes too Martin. It was a heart attack that took my father when he was 38 and me just 7. Unfortunately there was no second chance for him but then perhaps in 1971 the system wasn't quite so well equipped as it is today. Every time I feel a little twinge somewhere I can't help but think of him and wonder, is it my turn? Take care. Col

Comment is about I am arisen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

Fantastic poem Pablo, you caught me from the opening stanza, your use of words her is fabulous. I look forward to more.

Comment is about Delightfully blown away (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

Really heart felt piece this poem. there is a lot of reality her which I like in poetry. Nice one

Comment is about The Present (blog)

Original item by Dyphrent

this is a great poem, I love the metaphor with the sea, I particular the line 'wave after wave crashes down on him'
this is s poem that should be read out loud and performed. there is a lot of emotion that is carried in it and it needs to be heard as much as read.
Nice one

Comment is about Submerged (blog)

Original item by Matthew Will

Hello Alem, thank you for the explanation which was both interesting and insightful. I didn't know about the 100 year link between Greece and Ethiopia but I did understand the reference to Lucy and the cradle of mankind. If it was up to me to choose I would pick 'intermingling' over 'cross-breeding'.
All the best,
Colin

Comment is about Unmatched Grace (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

This is a good wake up call I am afraid I am all to guilty of straying into the mundane at times. Nice one Paul

Comment is about A So-So So and So (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

first time around we were making suggestions for alternate endings or a sequel but the honour of POTW is also fitting finale. Well done Kevin.

Comment is about 'Driving through Grimstone Low' by Kevin is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

cheers guys. glad you all liked it, i have been enjoying all your work as well, sorry if i seem a little less active nowadays i am trying to use the computer less in general as its naughty and bad.

Comment is about i am a cloud and when i cry it rains (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

Love the last three lines of this Stu. Very powerful and hard hitting poem

Comment is about i am a cloud and when i cry it rains (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

get well soon martin!

i like this piece a lot, the short lines work well to put home the message of repetition of the days.

Comment is about I am arisen (blog)

Original item by Martin Elder

good stuff paul. eerie and creepy but not because it lays it on thick, but uses clever, subtle lines to enhance the feeling, as the piece progresses, that there is a quiet desperation and longing. reminds me a lot of the technique used in asian horror movies, the creeping sense of unease as opposed to the shock value. far more effective i would say.

Comment is about Stalker (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

like this a lot neil, especially the end which is excellent and takes the poem from a slightly humorous look at a little life into more poignant territory

Comment is about Moth (blog)

Original item by Neil Robertson

Neil, Thank you for this poem written in a style which I enjoy reading and use myself. The poem leaves me in a quandry of thought which in itself provokes further thought. Please write more. Thanks again. Keith

Comment is about Neill Barnard (poet profile)

Original item by Neill Barnard

Thank you David, I'm pleased you enjoyed this and that it made you smile ?. In truth, it only has a smidgen of the autobiographical.

And your words are right about not surrendering to age. But much as I'm trying to remind myself not to lose my mojo, at times I wish I would finally grow up and slow down ?

Paul

Comment is about A So-So So and So (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Hi Suki, how interesting that this put you in mind of that Police song, and thank you for the lovely compliment.

And thanks, too Graham, for your kind praise.

I am really chuffed to read comments like this.

Paul

Comment is about Stalker (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

Thanks you Paul and Suki for your comments. The Iron Maiden was a reputed instrument of torture whose doors opened up to reveal a lining of metal spikes, one example having extra knives that revolved underneath, just to take no chances. It was also known as the Virgin Mary for obvious reasons. An example was used in the film Sleepy Hollow in a dream sequence.

Don't try this at home.

Ray

Comment is about IRON MAIDEN (blog)

Original item by ray pool

I'm a tad superstitious in respect of numbers - love prime numbers , live in a prime number house. So, when at the printer to finalise a random misplaced semi-colon in the 'acknowledgements' of my soon to be unleashed book, "Not For Sale," I mentioned that having 82 pomes made me uneasy he said,
"It's not too late to put one in."
So I added this pome to make the number up to 83 ?

Comment is about Last Summer in Co. Clare (blog)

Original item by Rick Gammon

Thank you so much for your comments and interest in my poems. Keith

Comment is about heartbakedpoet (poet profile)

Original item by heartbakedpoet

Like many of today's dramas on the TV, this finished too quickly and suggests its going to be part of a franchise. The follow-up would be eagerly awaited.

Well done on POTM Kevin!

Comment is about 'Driving through Grimstone Low' by Kevin is Write Out Loud Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

The cleverness of this piece (as the previous comments suggest) is its ambiguity. Deliberately sparse albeit finishing on a slightly threatening note "I'm going nowhere", there is more unsaid than expressed here.

Comment is about Stalker (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring