DISLOCATION

Take signs for town centre

two parallel lanes off the ring road

up the ramp for car park -

bollards, newly resurfaced - drive slowly.

Window down, ticket spat out

at last a space, tight squeeze.

Mental note - green A3

joined the celestial starburst throng

sought out visual plan 

on store locator to find the shop

low blood sugar kicking in

Costa like an open wound.

Million kilowatt shops staring back

found mine - paid and left.

In spite of seeking advice on direction

of car park irredeemably lost

entering reverse thrust mode.

Debenhams recalled as in a dream

but wrong lift not going up but down

the car park up up 

came down mingled with the throng

a good half mile traipsed.

Out into fresh air briefly

light banter with youths smoking

back in again new directions

blinded by light

found A3, no sign of car

in the exit area pressed helpbox

"stay where you are" a voice spoke

"someone will come to you."

 

      Mohammed arrived with tall woolly hat

      seek and I will find.    Comforting thought.

      wrong car park, it was the A3 GREEN

      "wait there I will fetch golf buggy,

      you sit in we find car!"

      Across a link bridge disturbingly familiar

an area of massive ducting

sedately trundling - found the car.

"If you want, leave feedback" he said

his name in pencil on the card.

"Would it help your prospects?" I asked.

 

Sometimes you just have to put yourself out. 

🌷 (6)

◄ STITCHED UP

THE GOD APP ►

Comments

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raypool

Fri 17th Nov 2017 16:26

Thanks for sharing that Kevin. So many lost souls in places that have no souls. Ghastly and dystopian. I thought Mohammed was the best thing that happened that day.

Stu quite a compliment. He doesn't know me, so I feel safe in his shadow.

Nice one, Suki. Everyone stared at us I admit - I felt like they were all lost too mind you.

Col: a dichotomy of choice you bounder. The purchase shall remain secret sorry. Clever line about the deliverance, and a great film.

Rob, I suppose the age thing does come into it, but also the feeling of being overwhelmed keeps dogging my heels. The worst of it is when you come out into the open that feels just as strange!

Love youse all. Ray

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kJ Walker

Thu 16th Nov 2017 19:28

Thanks for sharing Ray. I don't feel as daft now, for getting lost last Sunday. Our lift took us into Morrison's, when we came back Morrison's was closed. We had to try two or three before we got the right one.


Cheers Kevin

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Stu Buck

Thu 16th Nov 2017 16:38

as if written by cooper-clarke himself

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Colin Hill

Thu 16th Nov 2017 08:38

brilliant - with a dreaded lurgy thrown in for good measure. Brave of you to vocalise Mohammed but perhaps wise not to accompany this piece with his image. I'm glad though that Mohammed journeyed you from darkness to light.

what was so important to buy that you had to seek it out in such a hellish place? Try Amazon next time, a different sort of god, with next day deliverance.

take care. Col.

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suki spangles

Thu 16th Nov 2017 02:17

Hi Ray,

A kind of 21st Century Waiting for Godot - in a golf buggy!

Get well soon too!

Suki

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Robert Mann

Wed 15th Nov 2017 23:39

Ray - Is it an age thing, or just that town centre multi-storey, wannabee American mall type shopping 'experiences' are so difficult to escape from? I like this piece and the fact that you are brave enough to record your dulcet tones, unlike me!
Rob

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