This is an intimate moment well rendered, like a personal photo peeped at, almost causing a guilty feeling.
I don't think you need 'poetical license' with 'o'er'. 'over' seems fine, and fits with the type of poem.

Comment is about Lucy (blog)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

The Master of Mood strikes again. Your choice of vocabulary is superb, the deliberate contrasts that heighten horror, the internal rhyming. Your craft in combining these words is marvellous - making sheer music play through your lines by using all the finest 'poetic techniques'. The innocuous 'dead of night', such a cliche, is a striking clincher. Oh, so clever, Gus.

Comment is about Jack Came Dancing ( Re - Post Oct 2008) (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Very clever, Phil. I enjoyed it. I'm sure the overall diversity of image is a direct hit to the political situation in which we find right now ourselves. Not easy to copy such an 'old' style, rife with rules. Good to hear from you.

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

I didn't vote this month simply because there were quite a few entries which to my mind were equally worthy of being 'walloped'. In the nicest way possible of course and it only serves to confuse whoever is running it.

Congratulations to Ray, it's lovely when contributions are acknowledged in a positive sense. Well done. :-)

As for me? well this post in its whole has confirmed it is time i moved away from wol blogs. That's not to say i will stop visiting discussions and the Features or some poetry gigs when the opportunity arises so please don't think i've given up completely.

Janet.

Comment is about Write Out Loud Outstanding Poem For March (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Congratulationsto Ray,and thanks for this very interesting analysis, Dave and Anthony

Comment is about Write Out Loud Outstanding Poem For March (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hey I am an Olga.
Olga is a title not a name.
It comes from the wet end of the wind, the soggy shinka where the wind is still extricating itself from the water. We are the sonar that locates the unspoken.

Hey there, Collapsible!
This is a recipe, a formula for rummaging.
There are bedsheet ghosts
and there are tablecloth ghosts who are quite a bit floppier.

Tonight you will see syrup.
Tonight you will see Mr Meerholm’s Jellyfish chutney

Follow the Welsh Rarebit into the hole
Rummage around for a correct assessment of your height
Among stock cubes

Who are you with your ridicule squeezing from a clabber-lipped plastic tomato dispenser?
Even marmalade contains riptides

Comment is about Get Creative! (article)

Very strong images, agree with Ann - intense. Your words are always very interesting.
Cx

Comment is about For Time’s a Thrifty Whore (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

Being 'cut by the past' is painful, nice to see a note of optimism here; and nice to see you again Melissa, hope you're well.
Cx

Comment is about Talk of Love (blog)

They loaded the sparsely decorated room into the Scottish ambulance,

Inserted an intravenous drip feed of swatch-matched matt emulsion

With nought point two percent upright, cherry wood carcass piano for character...



The paramedics stopped, briefly, to skewer tangerines 

Onto an angus bull's dilemma



Then off toute de suite
 to the Scottish Hospital specialising

In silhouette microsurgery

And insect to human organ donation


There, the room was rushed into theatre on a beveled looking glass

And given the internal mannerisms of a roadkill bee


Three months deeper into the calendar,
the room beat unremittingly against its own casement windows

Humming in expanding horror


Twisting its entirety out of the first fully opened door --

To start the reversal from fruit to flower 

From window to when


Comment is about Get Creative! (article)

A really strong, ernest, intense poem. The last two lines really made it, for me!

Comment is about For Time’s a Thrifty Whore (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

Happy Birthday Steve : )
Wishing you a fabulous day!

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Hey Sian--
Thanks for the comment on my profile, and please excuse the tardiness of my reply (I haven't been on the site in a while).
If you're interested, you can hear more of my stuff at http://jeffcottrill.coffeehouse.ca or http://www.reverbnation.com/jeffcottrill. Cheers!

Comment is about sian howell (poet profile)

Original item by sian howell

I think that more traditional lilting irish background music might have gone better with the message of the poem, Tomas. The words and message are so powerful and sad, reminding us that dark side of humanity exists in every race - no matter its colour, no matter its history.

Comment is about "Just a Boy" - Toyosi Shittabey Memorial Poem (blog)

Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

Kealan's right I think. Liked the esscence of this Christopher... Maybe a line space after 'pain.' would give the reader chance to pause before the final 2 lines.Win

Comment is about To Love or Not to Love? (blog)

hi Tomas... liked the vid and the poem. Have lookrd st s few of your picture/word/music combinations and think you have done a great job. More difficult that it seems. Please keep posting the links on here Win x

Comment is about "Just a Boy" - Toyosi Shittabey Memorial Poem (blog)

Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

P.S. 4th line You'r is missing an e :-)

Comment is about I'm Simple this way (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Tommy... loved this one. As ever, not mainstream. no problem there.

I was looking at a poets works recently and wondering why it appealed so much?? took me a while but I think it was because all the words were short and simple well known words. same here with your piece. Most complex word is probably 'grasp' so there you go. Liked it a lot Tommy. will bedrawn back to it tomorrow. win x

Comment is about I'm Simple this way (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Rules ha ha what rules.... being a closet anarchist, rules are made to be broken... Cyber comms do have thier advantage, Anonymity, and say I mean look at my Avatar's sexy outfit heh heh.... but this poem is a little perplexing....TC XX

Comment is about no connecting(for Janet and all loud writers whom I love...without connection) (blog)

Original item by Beulah

'A visit to every room...', I like that - been there, done it miself a few times. Jo

Comment is about I Don't Know (blog)

Singled Out

A clementine, singled out, excluded, because orange is not pc in poetry.
Virtually kicked from a great height,
in flight it squashed a bee which skimmed the surface of a chemical trail, its bloody insides scattered across a pale blue sky..

and in a parallel universe the shadow of a ghost stretches out along a floor as the reflection of a woman stands immortalized in the mirror.
Her eyes, empty and withdrawn cause mine to stray to an animal's horn, plastered to the wall.
The only clue as to what happened to a solitary bull in an open field and the bloodshed which might have occurred..

and in the next room the dull glow from a bulb, its true colours and brightness dimmed by a shade, too big for the stand, concurs with the silence emanating from a standard piano, black and white concealed and musical scores packed away.

In the absence of police, an individual whose identity cannot be revealed, reported the aforesaid atrocities to the Scottish Ambulance Service who said,
''Sorry mate, you're on your own. It's out of our jurisdiction.''

Comment is about Get Creative! (article)

Thanks Thomas - I loved writing it. Sorry I don't do Facebook (or anything that begins with 'T'. It is easy to find your way to me if you so wish.

Comment is about Barrie Singleton (poet profile)

Original item by Barrie Singleton

A PENGUIN POEM FOR ANN FOXGLOVE'S PENGUINS

I’ve hollowed out a penguin
To make a lantern
The penguin’s giblets remain alive
Inside a donor-organ-box-style igloo

There’s also a polar bear standard lamp
And several seal bedside anglepoises

I’ve lowered one or two fish flashlights back beneath
The ice hole
The pop-up whale lighthouse stranded on a floe
Guttered a month back
But its foghorn function persists


(your penguins have welsh rarebit awaiting them in the Antarctic Cafe -- plush a slush puppy each).

Comment is about Win a Trip of a Lifetime to Reykjavik (article)

The penguins march
in their jolly bouncy way!
They've got cheese on toast for supper,
their favourite, today!
And all will be alright
now that Hatta's back in town.
And the little whales start to sing.
"oooh Ooooh! can we have some cheese
toooo?"

Comment is about Win a Trip of a Lifetime to Reykjavik (article)

Hello, I'll be posting my stuff in the gallery again soon. Had a bit of a arghhhhhhhhhhhh (as we all do from time to time) but your lovely message has brightened my day and lifted my spirits. Thank you. xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Oh, I love your snow poem, Ms Foxglove! The penguins are strong and resolute they deserve eternal snow.

Comment is about Win a Trip of a Lifetime to Reykjavik (article)

The polar bears
are out in force tonight.
They're on patrol.
They pace.
The little penguins are
all over the place.
Because the polar bears
are out in force tonight.
It's a no-go zone
in the snow-go zone.
And the ozone is in denial.
It's been a while
since the penguins
stood their ground.
But stand their ground they must!
Til all the snow heats up
and turns
to dust, dust, dust.

Comment is about Win a Trip of a Lifetime to Reykjavik (article)

Carol Ann Duffy is muffled tonight

By the snow

She employs a number of session drummers

To run around her shattering the flakes with their drumsticks

She has fetched along her local GP

A Mekon-fingured

Trotter-footed cavaliere

Called Adenoid Still 

He's pinned frills and flounces to his stethoscope

He's listening to Carol Ann Duffy tinkering

With the pupils of her eyes

Adding printer ink from a glass dropper

Floating tiny snowballs over her irises



Poetry is a lady

With buttocks surgically realigned with her stomach 
Poetry is a man with an air kiss rifle

He aims, he shoots

Moi moi moi moi moi 

The sound of his weapon is like a rice paper canoe



Comment is about Win a Trip of a Lifetime to Reykjavik (article)

SNOW MARK 2 (translated from the Icelandic)


Hey wake up you solids!

The shrimps are shovelling snow from your path


Like polar bears' fur and optic fibre, they are see-through

Turning pink only when cooked or embarrassed



Hey, buy these snap-on rounded protectors

In cotton rich kevlar and pop them on the snowflakes

Because

The snowflakes' needle-ended ice shafts

Have been shared by cloud squatting drug users to inject

Christmas between their toes



I have a tin of snowburps

Would you like one?

Comment is about Win a Trip of a Lifetime to Reykjavik (article)

SNOW


King Cong is anti-monogomy & anti-mahogany,

working as an unqualified doctor

In a hospital made from snow and ice


His broad chest is home to several operating theatres

Each of his fingers is a separate ward

His feet are the pathology labs and his toes the mortuary blocks



He is suffering from hypothermia

The snowflake flurries are as lethal as the strafing planes

That dislodged him from the Empire State building

Like a hundred tonne nightfall

Comment is about Win a Trip of a Lifetime to Reykjavik (article)

Hi Marc. hope you enjoy your 'first definate impulse' onto our site. keep writing. keep posting. Win

Comment is about Marc Anthony (poet profile)

Original item by Marc Anthony

Loved the Fidelety poem...

Comment is about Beulah (poet profile)

Original item by Beulah

I loved "Impure Wool"

Comment is about Barrie Singleton (poet profile)

Original item by Barrie Singleton

All things we desire are as ballons... they seem too shiney, we check them too much, handle them too rough... and then... they POP and are gone... lost and its our own fault...

Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)

Original item by Rachel McGladdery

This is a nice piece, short and effective, one thing though, i find it better wen posting one poem at a time, rather than a couple in a row, people tend to comment more, but maybe thats just me, anyway i enjoyed this.

Comment is about To Love or Not to Love? (blog)

Cool image and a nice poem...

Comment is about A window in. (blog)

I think your Jester character rules the world by friend. Loved the poetry.

Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)

Original item by Kealan Coady

thanks for all your comments cynth, means a lot, especially coming from sumone who is published, yea i'll put, As The Moon Prevails back up maybe next week or sumthing.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

thanks for your answer. which I tend to agree with.
In some ways it is/might be like that egg and chicken thing isn't it? Thanks again though.

Comment is about English Stoicism (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

Hi there welcome to WOL Colin. Great stuff in your profile. Loved 'Getting the hang of it' especially. Winston

Comment is about Colin Watts (poet profile)

Original item by Colin Watts

Hi Colin, I agree with Hatta, your poems are lovely. The Hang Of It is really clever, esp as it doesn't sound forced in any way. And the one about the tree house is really moving, but in that not feeling sorry for yourself way that I love. Hope you enjoy WOL.

Comment is about Colin Watts (poet profile)

Original item by Colin Watts

Thank you very much for the kind welcome and comments on my poetry. I very much enjoyed reading through your own.

Cheers ^_^

Rob

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ab bent Lafft saaa uchh en a ong imme!

Still achin...
Gus

Comment is about A Trip to the Dentist (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

As regards your comment on 'English Stoicism', I believe it is the people that define the land more than the land defines the people. I could be wrong but that's my perspective on it, I mean, it's arguable that we try to attribute meaning to things that really have none and have thusly turned to all types of beliefs in order to justify those meanings but I don't think that a giant lump of rock really affects the overall character of its inhabitants.

Comment is about Beulah (poet profile)

Original item by Beulah

Thank you!! xx (Doe/Doh!)

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Superb piece Max love this to bits!


Gus

Comment is about For Ways To Not Fall In Love (blog)

Original item by Max Wallis

Really nice poem Anne, your reading voice is excellent too.

well done

Like this very much.

Gus

Comment is about doe/doh! (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I like the link words between stanzas which acts like a strand between each one for someone to cling on to, does that make sense? I also like the fog which creeps through each stanza and gives the impression of the I in the poem's state of mind. I like it SK :)

Comment is about Dysphoria (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

Hi Andy!

Thanks for your comments on Dysphoria! What you see as brave, others might see as self indulgent. I just think that if I have something either on my mind or something to say, it's better out than in! :-)

Glad you liked my work though, thanks again! :-)

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Your review of "My Father's Arm" was so insightful. On various levels, I'm working through my feelings about my father every day. I had to leave my family because he wasn't the only one that was so emotionally and mentally abusive. My mom and I became close after many years, but it was just too hard for her to be in the middle. I think it will always be a journey vs. a destination which is a theme that seems to echo in my life. Thanks so much for reading my piece and leaving such an empathetic comment.

Lisa

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I agree with you Jo.(decipher)

Comment is about no connecting(for Janet and all loud writers whom I love...without connection) (blog)

Original item by Beulah