<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 15th Apr 2018 08:46

I like this Trevor. It reminds me of a chap who lived next to us when I was a kid. He had a white Cortina or Escort - can't remember which - that he kept in gleaming condition. Even cleaned the engine with a toothbrush. His wife's brother was a loner with mental health issues who would often get half way round the close before turning back the way he'd come. He rarely made it to their door. They had twin girls who were a bit creepy. I won't mention the other neighbours. It was all a bit too surreal at times. Thanks for posting this Trevor. Col.

Comment is about Car Of His Dreams (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

<Deleted User> (18980)

Sun 15th Apr 2018 08:27

I disagree. The die needn't be cast. Get out and do something about it. Or sit there feeling sorry for yourself.

Comment is about The Void is Cast (blog)

Original item by J F Keane

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Tia Lattanzio

Sun 15th Apr 2018 07:49

I like the "word"-play in this! (excuse the pun). It is punchy feels fun in the mouth to read. Thank you for this!
Tia Rae

Comment is about Words (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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John F Keane

Sun 15th Apr 2018 02:42

I can see that fox bright as fire in the cool November sunset...

Comment is about Autumn in the Wind (blog)

Original item by Wood

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Hazel ettridge

Sat 14th Apr 2018 18:43

Goodness me, I thought I had already thanked Graham, Martin and Brian. So much for brain closing down.

Comment is about Why cant she write poems....? (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

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Hazel ettridge

Sat 14th Apr 2018 18:41

Thanks for the comment Adam and for the further comment Cynthia. I think it's to do with the part of my brain that lights up and the part of my brain that closes down when I'm in certain frames of mind.

Comment is about Why cant she write poems....? (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

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Laura Taylor

Sat 14th Apr 2018 15:54

Hi Ray - thanks for y'note on Charity. Aye, it was the faux jolliness combined with Big Brother - got to me a bit! ? I'm a socialist - that comes out in almost everything I write ? Thanks again!

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

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Adam Whitworth

Sat 14th Apr 2018 11:35

Hi Hazel

In answer to your first line perhaps we can simply say- Try Harder! As your last line indicates, a difficult challenge can be a joy.

Comment is about Why cant she write poems....? (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 14th Apr 2018 11:00

I don't agree with Graham, or you too, I suppose. But, I do agree that readers seem to want more of the 'angst' poetry than the celebratory. I appreciate that the reader's viewpoint is not the purpose of the poem at all. But, still, the 'reader' is always there in the poet's mind, or I doubt that we would write. I think that poetry is about 'sharing' the human condition. Writing is communication, a two-way street; it requires reading. A kind of 'immortalization' of our personal space, as only 'we' can 'say it.'

That said, this is really an excellent little poem, the sort that 'sticks in your mind' like that famous little piece 'Leisure' which, once memorised, or even read, burrows into your head and lives there forever.

Comment is about Why cant she write poems....? (blog)

Original item by Hazel ettridge

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Sat 14th Apr 2018 03:59

Snap Margret ;
And thanks
Tommy

Comment is about Lilly Love (poet profile)

Original item by Lilly Love

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Sat 14th Apr 2018 03:58

Snap Margret ;
And thanks
Tommy

Comment is about Drunk (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Wood

Sat 14th Apr 2018 03:24

listened in on the journey.
thank you.

Comment is about Our Child (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Sat 14th Apr 2018 02:07

Listened to them both Col.
I've decided to make some small adjustments.

Tommy

Comment is about Drunk (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

<Deleted User> (16099)

Sat 14th Apr 2018 00:25

where have you gone we have missed your presence here.. thoughts and prayers always to you...

Comment is about Sarah Mae (poet profile)

Original item by Sarah Mae

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Wood

Sat 14th Apr 2018 00:23

hello
just so gentle on the mind.
nice, enjoyed. Thank you.

Comment is about PENSIONER POET (blog)

Original item by ray pool

elPintor

Sat 14th Apr 2018 00:04

Hi David. You can't know if you like it 'til you've tried it. I like to believe that I can tap into it when I feel the need to escape the mundane, but then I remember that I was never really in control--in reality, it was more like something that tapped into me. Subsumed is a word that comes to mind. Maybe I should post a blog about it...

I don't speak directly of inner experience often, Ray. And, this is probably as plain as anything I've ever posted. Though the need for change still seems to come as the voice of tumult, past experience sometimes forces me to walk each step in trepidation where I once would not have feared to tread.

Thanks to all of you for reading--I'm glad to see that it hit its mark.

Rachel x

Comment is about frostbite (maybe come next spring) (blog)

Original item by nunya

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:44

Good times indeed.

Comment is about One of these days (blog)

Original item by Dominic James

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:41

I just came back to re-read this piece, as it has that power than can only be gained by a return trip to the source. Always fly your colors!

Comment is about Rebellion On High (blog)

Original item by Jacqueline Phillips

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:36

"Come stroll with me" - Hook, line, and sinker.

Comment is about Endcliffe Woods (blog)

Original item by Chris Bainbridge

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:35

Not enough tribute poems to the poets that have left us. Maybe that's why very few, even in a circle of poetry, seem to know a fraction of poets not deemed popular. Good read.

Comment is about Hidden Chains (blog)

Original item by Chris Bainbridge

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:28

Damn, took me a bit to read thoroughly all the way through, but well worth the effort man.

Comment is about Albert Lemmon Sees The End. (blog)

Original item by Javis T.

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:26

I'm not surprised you feel so strongly, since you've shown strength via poetry since starting on here.

Comment is about I Am Not Okay (blog)

Original item by Chiari Warrior Soldier

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:24

I'd press 'Like' if I could, but I see no button.

Comment is about The Clearing (blog)

Original item by Shaakiera Schroeder

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:20

Very unique rhyme scheme. I've seen a lot of the same types on here, and I've yet to see this. Well done.

Comment is about A Beautiful Tragic Silence (blog)

Original item by Skye

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 23:10

Never settle for second best when you can have it all.?

Comment is about My Best Friend (blog)

Original item by Ella Raine

Big Sal

Fri 13th Apr 2018 22:50

Genuinely good read.

Comment is about The good housewife (blog)

Original item by Lilly Love

<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 13th Apr 2018 21:46

Agree with sentiment

Comment is about A taste of hell! (blog)

Original item by A Scallywag

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raypool

Fri 13th Apr 2018 20:02

Powerful writing Rachel. Obviously you have inner experience to put this across, and it works in a subtle and descriptive way. I feel the terrible dilemma involved.

Ray

Comment is about frostbite (maybe come next spring) (blog)

Original item by nunya

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raypool

Fri 13th Apr 2018 19:47

This is a great and tricky effort Laura - pretty much paid off with the metre etc. In these urban scenes it always saddens me to think of the excessive presence of CCTV - useful in catching crime, but perhaps in a wider context pre supposing it, which says nothing to optimism or real investment in people. (My view only). I think a social conscience comes through in the verses.

Cheers. Ray

Comment is about Charity Begins At Home (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Damon Blackery

Fri 13th Apr 2018 19:47

Okay then.

Comment is about Rambling of A Madman (blog)

Original item by Damon Blackery

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raypool

Fri 13th Apr 2018 19:33

Touch of Seamus Heaney here Chris. A pleasure to read, as it takes it through a timely ritual of toil and tilling.

Lovely stuff. Ray

Comment is about Grassland (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 13th Apr 2018 19:18

Get a room you two! ?

Comment is about Rambling of A Madman (blog)

Original item by Damon Blackery

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Damon Blackery

Fri 13th Apr 2018 18:33

No thank you I'll just wait on this one until I pass away

Comment is about Rambling of A Madman (blog)

Original item by Damon Blackery

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Damon Blackery

Fri 13th Apr 2018 17:49

Thank you again Anya. I got this bracelet that reminds me that I should have hope Firefly gave it. So yes I'm okay.

Comment is about Rambling of A Madman (blog)

Original item by Damon Blackery

<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 13th Apr 2018 16:22

Always best to plough your own furrow Chris.

Comment is about Grassland (blog)

Original item by Chris Armstrong

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 13th Apr 2018 15:59

I remember the last shoplifter I challenged, a surly violent
individual who Ieft a certain store unchallenged and was
at it again down the road. His luck ran out as we
scrapped, when a couple of passing coppers were alerted
to the sight of two grown men doing a pavement tango
on the opposite side of the road.

Comment is about Charity Begins At Home (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 13th Apr 2018 15:51

Lay off the booze. More tea vicar?

Comment is about The Unlucky Vicar (blog)

Original item by hugh

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 13th Apr 2018 15:50

Ho-ho - a case of
Don't go astray - or (heaven forbid) quicker
If you happen to be a car-driving vicar!

Comment is about The Unlucky Vicar (blog)

Original item by hugh

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Rich

Fri 13th Apr 2018 13:39

Hi Laura - thank you.

I probably do mean 'mould' - I wasn't sure of the spelling!

Comment is about Snails (blog)

Original item by Rich

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Laura Taylor

Fri 13th Apr 2018 13:27

10th poem for NaPoWriMo 2018 – today's prompt was about reversing images in a well-known phrase. Not entirely sure this fits rigidly, but hey ho. The first lines for this have been sat round for months doing nowt, after being inspired by the CCTV in The Range at crimbo.

Comment is about Charity Begins At Home (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Frances Macaulay Forde

Fri 13th Apr 2018 13:23

I agree with Colin; lovely stuff, Chris.

Comment is about Caravan Planet (blog)

Original item by Chris Bainbridge

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Laura Taylor

Fri 13th Apr 2018 09:38

'her foot was all rumply' - lovely phrase that.

Did you mean 'mould' though?

Comment is about Snails (blog)

Original item by Rich

elPintor

Fri 13th Apr 2018 00:51

elPintor

Thu 12th Apr 2018 23:29

A line in your piece reminded me of this..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blmnnwfa0mE

I hope you like it, Racha.

Comment is about reversed (blog)

Original item by racha

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Trevor Alexander

Thu 12th Apr 2018 21:53

Thanks Colin. Yes, that line was a bit clunky and I may well change it. I just put myself under pressure to finish it for the NaPoWriMo thing, so I could start thinking about tomorrow's.

Comment is about Conversations (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 12th Apr 2018 19:37

I think it works pretty well Trevor and a great idea for a poem. The only thing I would personally consider changing (if it was my poem) is the 'hard' line. Maybe something like 'but we get nowhere' or 'but it gets too complicated' or 'but we disagree'. Just a thought. All the best, Colin.

Comment is about Conversations (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 12th Apr 2018 19:28

lovely stuff Chris. I wonder how today's generations will look back on their childhood summers when they get to the looking back fondly age? All the best, Colin.

Comment is about Caravan Planet (blog)

Original item by Chris Bainbridge

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Trevor Alexander

Thu 12th Apr 2018 17:05

Attempted allegory on apathy for Day 12 of NaPoWriMo. Not sure it works though - might need a bit of tinkering.

Comment is about Conversations (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 12th Apr 2018 15:56

This is extremely good in its brevity

Comment is about I have broken my own heart (blog)

Original item by Tommy Tomato

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Laura Taylor

Thu 12th Apr 2018 14:44

Lovely write this, Trev.

It's so difficult innit?! I was actually ashamed of yesterday's effort ? Still, I thought it better to try than to just not bother at all.

Comment is about The Flowers (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

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