Charity Begins At Home

(to the tune of 'The Holly and the Ivy')


There's cameras in the holly

way above the line of sight,

and a neon sign on the roundabout

"One punch can kill tonight".


Well thank you for the warning

and increased security,

I'll be double-sure not to shoplift

now you're looking out for me.


It's nice to be surrounded

by markers of your greed,

and a lack of faith in the human race

so frequently displayed.


I love the warmth of Yuletide

and I think of Jesus Christ

when there's metal spikes in the doorways

and Space Protection Fines.


And you never give the beggars

any money, cos in truth,

they will spend it all, not on healthy food,

but on fripperies like booze.


But as long as tills are ringing

and we are all policed,

the rising sun and the running deer

are irrelevant, it seems.


So stick your NIMBY charity

right up your pious hole.                                                      

Go and sing your hymn and be grateful

that you even have a home.


Should you fall from grace with your god

and you end up on the street,

feed your family from the foodbank

that you sneered at last week.


Ho ho ho.




◄ Subjects of Denial

Just The One ►


Profile image


Fri 13th Apr 2018 19:47

This is a great and tricky effort Laura - pretty much paid off with the metre etc. In these urban scenes it always saddens me to think of the excessive presence of CCTV - useful in catching crime, but perhaps in a wider context pre supposing it, which says nothing to optimism or real investment in people. (My view only). I think a social conscience comes through in the verses.

Cheers. Ray

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Fri 13th Apr 2018 15:59

I remember the last shoplifter I challenged, a surly violent
individual who Ieft a certain store unchallenged and was
at it again down the road. His luck ran out as we
scrapped, when a couple of passing coppers were alerted
to the sight of two grown men doing a pavement tango
on the opposite side of the road.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Fri 13th Apr 2018 13:27

10th poem for NaPoWriMo 2018 – today's prompt was about reversing images in a well-known phrase. Not entirely sure this fits rigidly, but hey ho. The first lines for this have been sat round for months doing nowt, after being inspired by the CCTV in The Range at crimbo.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message