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Paul Waring

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 19:55

Ray, so clever and funny, right up my street, a crack-er 😂

Comment is about THE CAVE IN THE SIDE OF A CLIFF (blog)

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Paul Waring

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 19:51

David, great imagination and funny, too. Could you write one about the Smash potato characters next please? 😂

Paul

Comment is about EXTERMINATE! (blog)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 19:44

OK here goes, I am often astounded by your submissions, and can only hope that you are posting them from a secure inescapable compound.

David.

Comment is about The old Virgin (blog)

Original item by Louis Audet

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Paul Waring

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 19:41

Col, inspired writing, deep and meaningful without the merest whiff of preachy pretentious cheese.

I'm so taken by the temptation to think 'next time I'll not share the beauty of what I see/know'. The moral: you can't trust human nature 😟

I'm not trying to over-inflate your hot air balloon but Col this, for me, is top notch. Great stuff.

Paul

Comment is about Scene Unseen (blog)

Original item by Colin Hill

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Paul Waring

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 17:58

Thanks so much Frances and Colin, wonderful comments and I'm so grateful to you both. Steely Dan, loved them for 40+ years, this poem was partly inspired by the track!
Sorry short reply, internet problems here...

Comment is about a glimpse through the side door of paradise (blog)

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 17:06

thanks for the comments and likes chaps :-)
Ian

Comment is about Old Romantic (blog)

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 17:06

thanks for commenting on 'Old Romantic' Colin - glad you liked the line
Ian

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 17:05

thanks for the comment on 'Old Romantic' Harry - my purpose in life is to ruin the mood *wink*
Ian

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 17:04

thanks for the comment on 'Old Romantic' MC :-)
Ian

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Greg Freeman

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 16:36

Enjoyed hearing this at Write Out Loud Woking on Monday, Karen. Clever and timely. Thanks for posting!

Comment is about Echo and Narcissus (blog)

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Greg Freeman

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 16:29

Grateful thanks from comperes Rodney Wood and Greg Freeman to all those who came along to read on Monday night - that's Tricia McNamee, Amel Oudjida, debut reader David Atchinson, Simon Wright, Eddie Chauncy, Denise Bundred, Peter Taylor, Amanda Briggs, Andy V Frost, Ray Pool, and Karen Izod. We're delighted at the mix of voices, as well as the sense of camaraderie that Write Out Loud Woking has encouraged. And we triumphed over Sutton v Arsenal, too!

Review is about Write Out Loud Woking on 20 Feb 2017 (event)

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Nicola Beckett

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 16:16

😊

Comment is about Eyes that Meet. (blog)

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raypool

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 16:10

A sort of exhortation to keep sacred what you treasure, and expressed in a very pleasurable almost seductive way, having laid out some quite complex ideas . This has a real grasp of fundamental issues. In here is I think also an implied idea that dreams can be destructive if too exclusive.

I like that you have raised awareness from a sort of distancing stance..

Raymondo

Comment is about Scene Unseen (blog)

Original item by Colin Hill

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raypool

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 16:03

Ah ! Col. I've checked out Slinkachu and was amazed by those images ' quite spooky, and they remind me of the fifties' film The Incredible Shrinking man" which was quite impressive for those days. I'm glad you got the double meanings - sometimes things just seem to slide into place!
I wonder what a shrink would have made of it. Fortesque-Smythe I think was in the other poem. Thanks so much.

It's strange, but I didn't conceive of the parallel idea but I think it also holds water. (So I have been told). Your comments are gems in themselves. Thanks mate.

Karen, I hardly know what to say to a lady such as yourself. Like the cave itself, its quite difficult to come out when you've been in I suppose. A cave IS just a cave - the fundamental things apply as time goes by....

Appreciate you looking in x

Comment is about THE CAVE IN THE SIDE OF A CLIFF (blog)

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Stu Buck

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 15:27

cheers all, such fine responses to such a hastily scribbled ditty. as ever, much love and appreciation

Comment is about i am lost and you are lost so maybe we are not lost (blog)

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raypool

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 15:25

A clever parallel of ideas , I like the idea of movement and then none. There should be a follow up - After the extermination, a world free of pollution ; i'm sure you have some ideas, David.

Ray

Comment is about EXTERMINATE! (blog)

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raypool

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 15:16

This post had me with the small hairs rising Greg. Sometimes you just feel as if you have been caught up in a spiritual maelstrom and racing up the helter skelter of progress. That evening at the Bar des Arts was my first foray into live reading and of course your revue brought it all back . I have a signed copy of the Bernard Kops book and was graced with his comment about "I have a good face," and to call myself Raymond . (One already exists of course)! I remember Chrys Salt on a stick and playing it down. I spoke to you and thought you were an actor, whose name I still don't know but saw on an old re-run of Booth.
Janice is suggesting a book launch for my pamphlet so no doubt all will be revealed. And Lynn hasn't left me yet!

Regards. Ray

Comment is about Playwright and poet Bernard Kops, and a library that changed his life (article)

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Joe Williams

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 15:16

Thanks Frances, I'm glad you liked it!

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ken eaton-dykes

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 14:59

Wouldn't like to fall out with you

Comment is about Alt-Prayer (blog)

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elPintor

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 12:33

Ahh--iniquity..when you aren't born onto a level playing field, it's all you can expect without disappointment.

Thanks for commenting, David.

elP

Comment is about traveler (la revancha) (blog)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 12:25

Hi Colin,

swarms of locust, aren't we.

Strangely I see a link between our submissions today, my rather flippant "EXTERMINATE" and this.

They both speak of mankind's eagerness to consume the planet with an almost disinterested shrug of the shoulders or scratch of the groin so to speak.

Your piece is a little more refined than mine, and reminds me of the style of the Grasshopper dialogue in the opening scenes of "Kung Fu" which is quite endearing altogether.

A well written piece, I enjoyed it.

David

Comment is about Scene Unseen (blog)

Original item by Colin Hill

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elPintor

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 12:23

Wow, Laura..I'm glad I finally sat still long enough to watch this. It's my first viewing of a reading and I really am impressed. Your facial expression and the emotional conveyance in your voice enhance the writing to such a great degree that it becomes apparent exactly how much a reader can potentially overlook--a real sense of anger, disillusionment, and disgust.

Thanks immensely for posting.

elP

Comment is about revelations - film (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 12:17

phew!

Comment is about EXTERMINATE! (blog)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 12:15

Haha, should I be upset by that?

No, of course not. It wasn't meant to be autobiographical, but why not, I'am as guilty as anyone is.

Thanks Colin,

David.

Comment is about EXTERMINATE! (blog)

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Chris Hubbard

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 11:37

Hi Colin,

On the choice between "I am" and "I'm", I must say that I often have this sort of internal debate about the formal versus the informal in my poems. They usually resolve into questions such as what tone, style, context, and so on am I attempting to portray.

If, for example, I was writing largely in the active voice to emphasize the immediacy or clarity of a line of stanza, I would be more likely to use 'I'm'.

In a contemplative, quieter mode I may tend, all else being equal, towards 'I am'. I would be looking to construct a careful, perhaps melancholic frame of mind for my protagonist. In that case I would tend to go more for the passive voice - being softer, or more conciliatory.

Another issue, I think, is the extent to which the poet, as narrator, wishes to indicate distance of familiarity with the content and context of the agent's story.

Cheers,

Chris

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karen izod

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 11:36

sometimes a cave is just a cave!

but love some of your imagery - Freud would be proud of you!

Comment is about THE CAVE IN THE SIDE OF A CLIFF (blog)

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karen izod

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 11:36

sometimes a cave is just a cave!

but love some of your imagery - Freud would be proud of you!

Comment is about THE CAVE IN THE SIDE OF A CLIFF (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 11:19

thanks Hazel - my radar failed to spot your incoming comment - whoops! can we not tell anyone? 😉

Comment is about Haiku Whoops Apocalypse! (blog)

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Chris Hubbard

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 11:13


Hi Frances,

Thank you for your interest and information about the poetry scene in Perth. I'm certainly aware of KSP in Greenmount, the Fellowship of Australian Writers in Swanbourne, and the Peter Cowan Centre at ECU, Joondalup.

On the latter, and Glen Phillips, surprisingly enough Glen was the catalyst for my awakening to poetry way back in 1994, when I attended Glen's First Year Creative Writing class (I stayed at ECU for over seven years doing my Doctorate and followed his work for quite a while).

I'm aware of how important he is for the Perth poetry scene past and present, and it would be a real pleasure to re-make his acquaintance after so many years.

I will be in the UK for the summer this year, and hope to get to open mics via WOL as much as possible.

Cheers,

Chris

Comment is about Frances Macaulay Forde (poet profile)

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Colin Hill

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 11:00

EXCELLENT!

self-portrait in underpants?

Comment is about EXTERMINATE! (blog)

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Frances Macaulay Forde

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 10:51

"I'm in love with..." made me smile, Joe.
I really liked the down-to-earth-ed-ness and focus on what really matters when attraction strikes...
Particularly how you told us using the 'circle of storytelling'.
Great structure.
I've now added you to my favourites.
😃

Comment is about Joe Williams (poet profile)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 09:51

Hi Rob,

a really well written snap-shot memory. Written with a delicate touch which suggests a great respect for life in all its forms.

Really enjoyed this poem Rob.

David.

Comment is about Losing 'It' (blog)

Original item by Rob J Mann

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Colin Hill

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 09:15

beautiful Rob (note: I omitted the word plumage!)

you could so easily have picked it up by 'its' legs and dumped 'it' in the garbage bin but a burial was certainly more fitting. I suspect a beautiful soul like yourself would never have seriously considered the garbage bin route.

when I was young we lived adjacent to a large park in Shoreham-by-Sea, Sussex. The fat wood pigeons would sit cooing in the horse chestnut trees just the other side of the fence. Every once in a while one would swoop down over the fence and splat into our living room window in the belief that it had a through passage out the window at the other end of the room. It never failed to make us jump. Unlike yours the wood pigeon would usually spend half an hour wandering dazed and confused around the garden before regaining enough strength and dignity to fly off. I remember the glass ghosts too, the perfect impression of feathers on the window.

one of the beauties of poetry is the rekindling of memories and your 'Kes' moment has certainly achieved that for me. Cheers, Col.

Comment is about Losing 'It' (blog)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 09:06

Short and sweet, a picture of iniquity. The kind often experienced in familial relationships, though not exclusively so.

David.

Comment is about traveler (la revancha) (blog)

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 09:02

Hi Ray,

is this advocacy for celibacy? all that work, all that investment in desire and lust, to end up with a cigarette, guilt and a nasty little rash.

Your humor still shines through, as always Ray. Quite an obscure metaphor on first reading, but one that blossoms when recognized.

David.

Comment is about THE CAVE IN THE SIDE OF A CLIFF (blog)

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Colin Hill

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 09:01

this feels like a follow up to The Heart of the Matter if not a connection of themes or continuation of thoughts. I would definitely echo Frances' comments but with the addition that you have written a damn fine piece of poetry Paul.

I haven't heard 'bodhisattva' since I last played Countdown to Ecstasy by Steely Dan. Not the best quality vid but genius live performance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqvjrEyIvP4

Col

Comment is about a glimpse through the side door of paradise (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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Colin Hill

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 08:41

good to see you back posting Michelle - hope all is well for you and yours in Trumpworld? All the best, Colin

Comment is about "The One" (blog)

Original item by Michelle Combe

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 08:37

Thanks Harry. This is my first attempt at a villanelle actually.

Comment is about Weary souls (blog)

Original item by Juan Pablo Lynch

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Colin Hill

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 08:37

I seem to remember you posting a poem about a cave a little while back Ray. Nice to see you return to this theme albeit from a different angle. I have so many questions I would like to ask about this expedition but I'm not sure any of them would pass the moderator's scrutiny!

What is clever about this poem is that on first reading the majority of it is taken quite literally and seriously but on the second reading it is much more humorous, almost uncomfortable in a gynaecological sense, but also packed with meaning. I have to pick out 'and strange vegetation defied a hold' as a favourite.

Have you come across the work of the artist Slinkachu? I would dearly love to see this remodelled in his style:
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=slinkachu&espv=2&biw=1600&bih=770&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwj6uN6MpqPSAhUEL8AKHYM9CUQQ_AUIBigB

Col.

Comment is about THE CAVE IN THE SIDE OF A CLIFF (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Julian (Admin)

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 07:28

HI Chris

The event I pointed out to you from our gig guide is now run by Elio Novello, who has kindly let me know about others in Perth that you might be interested to try:

Perth Poetry Club, every Saturday afternoon
Perth Spoken Word, every Wednesday fortnight evening
Voicebox Fremantle, last Monday evening of each month

We would love to get reports or reviews of the events, and would be very grateful if you were able to take some of our flyers along to them – which we can supply electronically - and let them know they can list on our worldwide poetry gig guide.

My contact is Elio Novello, Perth Poetry Club - perthpoetryclub@gmail.com and I am sure he will let you know the details.
0417 345 863
+61417345863
Another Perth poet has just uploaded a poem on here about her daughter’s artwork https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=64913

By absolute coincidence I was reading all about Western Australia just the other day. It sounds quite a place, if very remote from the rest of Oz. a bit different from Lincolnshire.

Again, the comments on your work are very well deserved.

Julian

Comment is about 'Lost' by Chris Hubbard is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Raj Ferds

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 07:16

Love the open ended finale so to speak. I can see this was bound to come out. Bitter-sweet Nostalgia.

Most of all I like the melancholic tone.

I can relate to this.

Raj

Comment is about Eyes that Meet. (blog)

Original item by Nicola Beckett

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Raj Ferds

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 06:38

Sadness can be sweet sometimes Kimberley.
You should try this on audio.

Let me guess.... it was written quite late at night.
Billie was an exceptional songbird.

For me this poem achieves its purpose of creating a sombre mood. Excellent.

Raj

Comment is about Songs of Sadness (blog)

Original item by Kimberly Ray

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Frances Macaulay Forde

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 02:45

Wow, Paul - love this!
Great metaphors.
You stuck with the premise and explored it with imagination and consideration of the senses; visual, audio and tactile.
Very well done.
😊

Comment is about a glimpse through the side door of paradise (blog)

Original item by Paul Waring

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elPintor

Wed 22nd Feb 2017 01:45

Hey, Stu..thanks so much for all of your comments on my recent writings. I kept this one brief because I haven't had a whole lot to say lately--or maybe because I can't seem to find enough slack in my jaw to tell it like it is.

Either way, I'm really glad for your reading..take care, Stu!

elP

Comment is about traveler (la revancha) (blog)

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Robert Mann

Tue 21st Feb 2017 23:37

Rich - you are more than welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed sharing my 'Kes' moment. It was possibly my first experience of death, and I'm almost certain it was a Barn Owl that rammed my window with such force it woke me up in the early hours. I assume it broke its neck or scared itself to death from the trauma. The outline shape left on the glass remained until my Mum decided it 'had to go'.
Rob

Comment is about Losing 'It' (blog)

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Emer Ni Chorra

Tue 21st Feb 2017 23:34

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, old shoes. Open communication can prevent a whole lot of mental torture. Pride and fear are some of the obstacles we must overcome.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We need to challenge our own negative patterns of thinking too.

Comment is about When in doubt, Ask. (blog)

Original item by Emer Ní Chorra

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old shoes

Tue 21st Feb 2017 23:16

Emer, I use the same saying your old teacher would say, its a grand one isn't it. Your poem obviously struck a chord with many, even me. It reminds of a saying of mine "Question everything but don't judge, and you will find your place in time" and life leads on from there.

thanks for your addition

old shoes

Comment is about When in doubt, Ask. (blog)

Original item by Emer Ní Chorra

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Melissa Gentile

Tue 21st Feb 2017 23:09

Graham,
I wasn't sure the reader would catch the cohesive value of the last line. Glad to see you noticed. Thanks so much for the feedback!

Juan,
Yes, horribly awry lol. Sometimes I fear that a title will give too much away so I often omit it altogether, but "untitled" seemed to fit this poem well. Thanks for the feedback!

Comment is about untitled (blog)

Original item by Melissa Gentile

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raypool

Tue 21st Feb 2017 22:55

Achingly poignant and resonant Stu. It holds a subtle message , lovely.

Ray

Comment is about i am lost and you are lost so maybe we are not lost (blog)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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raypool

Tue 21st Feb 2017 22:51

Hi Stu and Mark. Your slightly delayed comments are a worthy irony in view of the subject matter (just joking). It's lovely to get them of course. Stu, I recall you mentioning that band before . I'll check out their material for an update!
Mark, yes it must be infuriating for passengers (now called customers) when you can't supply their needs . Feels like someone's got someone by the balls.

Ray

Comment is about PLATFORM ANNOUNCEMENTS (blog)

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