Poetry Blogs (2017, heartbreak)
is not yet an old soul. Such apprenticeship has not yet begun.
Studiously she watches as you cite your second hand wisdom.
Bested by her innocence, such familiar nostalgia withers like the thick layer of dust it hides beneath.
Shaken and bruised like brine against an ice cube, the vermouth of your ideals is poured into an ill fitting glass.
Left feeling dirty you turn to d...
Saturday 23rd December 2017 6:57 am
it might just be you
i don’t know when
i started thinking of this
can’t put a pin in where it all started
over a year ago, i’d say
maybe you were a charmer and
maybe i was easily charmed
you’ve always had a spot
a spot if you ever wanted it
can honestly say i would
to just try us
to just try what we could be
Thursday 14th December 2017 6:07 am
I’m not even angry at you
And I never was
Frustrated, yes, but from confusion
I can’t be angry with you
Or at you
But I am angry
I’m angry that I put my best effort
That I tried so hard
I’m angry that this happened again
My best was not good enough
I’m angry that I ignored the signs
Such small flags
Warning me from the beginning
Tuesday 28th November 2017 8:03 am
Your Skype signed in again
It’s so tempting to call you
There’s a voice screaming at me to just
Pick up the phone
Just pick up the phone
Against every urge
I’m silent, all except these prose
I must stay silent
Wait for what?
For the message, the text, the phone call
Another voice tells me
That will never happen
Selfishly, I want you to miss me
I want to make you miss me
Sunday 26th November 2017 3:22 am
Is there no hope of returning
Relative happiness is nice
A ping in my brain
A twinge in my heart
These pulses of ice in my veins
Never want to stop
Every moment distracted
Please, please don't cry
Every attempt to want to understand
Another wall is slammed down between us
Please don't push me away
I can be goo...
Wednesday 22nd November 2017 3:20 pm
A woman cries for now she knows
Her love is unconditional
Weeping at the empty kitchen table
One, two, three in the morning
None are awake but her
Right hand reaches out to air
“There was no choice to make!”
Yet she always knew, in some way
Either too much to handle
Or not enough
But always cast aside
Anger will not manifest
Tuesday 21st November 2017 7:57 pm
I’m scared that this is who I will be from now on
I’m afraid of what I might become
I’m scared that I’ll never have a healthy relationship
I’m afraid of losing everything again
I’m scared that any person who comes close to me will hurt me
I’m afraid of being isolated
I’m scared that I may be better off alone
I’m afraid of these thoughts racing
I’m scared th...
Monday 20th November 2017 8:31 pm
Keep finding bits and pieces of
Myself strewn across my mind
Only to be blown away again
And what little pieces I have left
Shake and shiver in fear.
Knowing the horizon has better days
I strive onward, searching
There will always be a place
Not a hole, but a safe space
In my heart
For you to rest your head awhile
And know that I will always love you.
Monday 20th November 2017 8:08 pm
Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart...it betrayed me one to many times.... I love to deeply. And care too excessively... Then I hurt! And the hurt is like so many hurts I have endured...yet so unlike any... Each time its new...somewhat unique in its anguish...lingering... Stalking me during the day...and as night falls so does my reserve... Proclaimed by the world as a 'strong woman' if only th...
Thursday 19th October 2017 1:46 am
Conversations heart says to brain
Let me in
I'm sorry H
I can't open the door
don't want to fall for love anymore
It's different this time
that's what you said the last time
come on B
you gotta learn to open up
not Gonna happen H
if it's the same
then the door stays shut
B how you gonna know
if you don't even try
we gotta learn
Saturday 7th October 2017 7:29 pm
It all felt like it happened yesterday
When you and I finally stayed away
I love you is an empty word we say
When we have no intention to stay
We never stopped trying
Keeping us from hurting
More than what is intended
From all the past lies
Beneath our shaking hands and hidden scars
Of broken promises and empty vows
Loaded guns that fires the bullet
To the st...
Tuesday 12th September 2017 4:45 am
I'm tired of being second best
I'm tired of being the one the world rejects
The husband wanted more so he went with the bridesmaid
& even back in primary I never got picked for the school play
Second best is a journey of progression
Always so close to the prize but then comes life's hard lessons
It seems no matter how much you want it and no matter how hard you try
Monday 17th July 2017 1:14 am
Spring was formed in the evening by the residual dew of storms,
When I gandered out the window in the morning,
Looking for you wearing your dress,
With the dreams of a family, I had once had,
I found nothing
In my mind.
Where are you?
I wonder towards old times written in tablets to the tune of women and children,
And I ask,
Where are you about to go and see,...
Wednesday 28th June 2017 7:32 pm
I still remember the first time we made love,
It was simple and easy, with your weight above.
I remember expecting pain and feeling none,
I remember biting my lip when we were done.
It was so long ago, half a decade gone by,
But it still keeps me warm when you're not by my side.
Perhaps it's wrong I know I ought to move on,
But how do you stop an oncoming storm.
I still wis...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 2:26 pm
Always I think of you,
I don't know why I do.
It opens doors I cannot close,
I feel adrift in the chaos.
Each time I look inside of me,
Searching for something to hold to my heart.
A memory of pain or fight or slight,
So I can say it's good we're apart.
I find nothing, there is nothing to find
You were good to me, you treated me right.
I'm lost and lonely I now need ...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 1:44 pm
Carvings of my heart rot on the floor, what was once as fresh as a flower is now shriveled up and sore, I've always been broken but now I am more than ever before, these words they echo again and again ramblings of a mad man run through my head, cutting off the oxygen of my happiness, alas, if I can break past this, I'll find it again
Tuesday 11th April 2017 3:44 am
Tonight I realized its not up to you to decide me.
Its not my job to initiate conversation,
Its not my requirement to put on more makeup,
You don't get to decide what shirts you think look good on me.
Tonight I realized its not my place to lower myself to you.
I don't have to make sure you're satisfied,
I don't need to stop what I'm doing to answer to you.
There's only one of me, and ther...
Monday 30th January 2017 1:50 pm
It was that feeling in my gut
When I heard you say the words,
The words that broke my heart and sent my knees to the floor.
I had imagined our lives, together and apart,
But I never could have imagined the hurt you brought on with so few words.
You said it wasn't my fault, no one's fault at all,
You thought that this was best for me,
But that wasn't your call.
I tried so ha...
Wednesday 25th January 2017 2:34 am
The universe, can play some wicked games.
One day you'll meet the one and fall hopelessly in love.
Just for it to rip it away.
The butterflies and all the highs,
will lead to your ultimate demise.
Through the depths of despair
And a valley of lows;
your world will crash,
All around you.
Your heart will break,
And you soul will crumble.
But time will go on.
You know people say,
Saturday 7th January 2017 11:37 am
Sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing
wondering if others
converse with people who are not there
To those that have torn their hearts
into tiny pieces
the invisible people who were vapor
when their bodies were in the room
Irina Dunn coined the phrase
a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle
I repeat that to myself often
I wonder how ...
Thursday 5th January 2017 5:06 am
In the beginning he would wake at every peculiar sound that came from the babies crib
In the beginning he would bring me a beverage as I fed his son whilst the moon was dimly lit
In the beginning he would rush home from work eager to see the family he created
In the beginning we were the people whom he could be himself and escape with
In the beginning we were enough
Tuesday 3rd January 2017 2:37 pm
I was young .. A simple statement that is the answer to many questions I am presented with
Why did you get drunk, and throw up in the hall way?
Why did you leave school, and truant all day?
How did you get pregnant, at just seventeen?
Why did you marry him, given what you had seen?
Doesn't it feel silly, divorcing already?
You're only 21, doesn't your life seem so craz...
Tuesday 3rd January 2017 2:32 pm