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Be a Good Girl

Dilute your pant suits,

grow out that cropped hair,

season your long words,

make your language edible -

That's it, baby, be delicious!

By smearing cherry lip gloss on that big mouth of yours,

Hunny, where's the honey on your pale skin?

Why don't you smile more?

You know, that's what we hired your for...

To bring customers in!

I'm talking to you, hey!

Darling! Doll ...

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How prolific your profundity,

To see what others cannot see,

To relate your divine acuity,

To take the time to talk to me,

To advise advice altruistically,

To lower yourself to charity,

To solicit unsolicited graciously,

To presumably pontificate pompuosly 

To offer two red cents for free.


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Ditch Digger

I've heard the world needs ditch diggers too,

Which is good for me and good for you,

Because now we can be important to,

The doctors and the lawyers.


Oh, won't my mother be so proud,

To have raised such an important child,

Who reached the summit in the clouds,

When it comes to holding a shovel.


So, remember not to try too hard,

If you were born substandard,


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