Hi Ann,

Hope all is well with you "down the road."

Touching The Void is a very emotive phrase - and image. Really good and appropriate title. It was a film too:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379557/

I like what you've done with the "story" the second and the last stanzas stand out for me. If I were to offer one teensy-weensy-niggly-nothing, it would be to lessen the repetition of the title phrase - thinking of the "less is more" principle. It's such a powerful image/phrase that the repetition diminishes it for me. To be used sparingly.

That's all, niggling over!

Thanks for dropping in om my scribbles, and for your succinct, yet perceptive comments.

Regards,
A.E.x

Comment is about touching the void (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ta for the positive feed-back Trae..I have been a bit up and down lately and I guess it is gonna show in my writes..best here as Ann says to post one at a time coz we only really see the last post unless peeps click on your links..its a good site Trae..once you have sorted how to navigate the bugger lol x oh and welcome!!

Comment is about Tracey Bucknell (poet profile)

Original item by Tracey Bucknell

Hi!

I have a changed me poem..and yup does read better and also had to change the below line coz that had cross in it too..so changed it to know and the message works better too!!...sooo big thanks for showing interest and being bovered to add suggestions..much obliged :)))

Comment is about Richie Muster (poet profile)

Original item by Richie Muster

Good for you MC! This week Writeoutloud, next week The Grand Ole Opry! I'm always pleased to see anyone getting their "stuff" out there.

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about SO BROKEN HEARTED - demo version (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

This is a super poem, haven't read the other comments yet but thought 'soothing coffee' might sound preferable in stanza 6 of verse 4. It works better with the perception of your mother's persona as otherwise described. x

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Cynthia, 'Not Guilty as Charged'. Much appreciate the comments. A lot of ground covered in a relatively short space here and, the 'i' in my first stanza supposedly represents the detached observer over aeons of time. CHEERS.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

THIS BRINGS BACK A MEMORY,

Back in the early seventies I used to go (during trade union visits to London) to the Poetry Society place in Earls Cout square. One night A tall apparition dressed in one green woollen-legged tight and one red woollen-legged tight, and wearing a tall, floopy, guy Fawks style hat, `kidnapped me and took me to the Troubador. Does any one know who she was? (I remember there was a sort of stone `niche` from which I was told the poets used to read.

Comment is about Beg, steal or borrow a Troubadour ticket (article)

Original item by Julian Jordon

Charming!

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Now that's what I call great news! Can't think of a better duo - it's gonna be a hoot and I wouldn't miss it for the world!

Comment is about The family way: Darby and Yates at Write Out Loud Wigan (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

"...on the sideboard"?
That's preferable to being "on the side" and
"bored" any day! :-)

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Alan, interesting points about universities' attitudes to open-mic poetry. We have found both sets of attitudes, pro- and anti-, although even the pro- tend to be wary of open/live poetry. The problem seems to me to be one of control; or fear of lack of it. If teachers are in charge of telling you what a poem is about (the 'right' answer), that tends to be within their comfort zone (not all teachers, of course). And of course, they have their notes that can tell them exactly what a published poem is 'about'.
Put the means of production - sorry, creation - in the hands of the students and the teachers are on more difficult ground, where they perhaps feel they might need to give their own meagre opinion, and might expose their lack of understanding, or paucity of hinterland.

Comment is about The Write Out Loud interview: Fiona Sampson (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

John,
As good a `Chopped up prosey` as the best.And that `squeamishness` knocks my `trudging` into the undergrowth.

Lines four and five have an impressive nobleness about them (but the word `allows` makes me wonder...is it about the past instilling a kind of fear -or a kind of fastidiousness - about death)

Either is interesting, but the `allows` (for me) confuses rather than intrigues.

A good poetic (rather than novel-ish) use of free verse.

Comment is about Platform (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

You have had or are having a great life Ian (long may it continue)...
What a delightful poem with delightful words combined in delightful rhyming couplets...delightfully written.
But I don't think I will ever eat another Mc Donalds again!-( Flystrike and what? Scrapie?) lol

Nice one!

All the best - Graham

Comment is about KIND HEARTS (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

Thanks Geoffery, for proving to the doubtful among us that those scholars that work at Oxford are indeed snobbish gits.

What's wrong with poetry being compared to texting anyway? Adapt to survive and all that.

Comment is about Oxford professor Hill takes Carol Ann Duffy to task (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

I Love this Poem so much Cynthia...Yes perfection does not and will never exist in anything we ever say or do but the feelings you felt in that 'Early Morning Light' will always just belong to you!
Hey good name for a title eh?

We have not met Cynthia but I hope u did not mind me commenting on such a lovely piece of heartfelt poetry!

Graham

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I agree with our Bessie (above or below) John...great use of words..great meaning and great rhythm...all we fellow Poets have come to expect from you John as you are a Bard! (but I still like 'Ken Dodd's Dad's Dogs Dead') as well...never forget the power of humour Luke!

All the best mate! - Obi one Robbo ...haha!
Hope to see you and hear again soon (if the wife lets you out)lol...

Comment is about Platform (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Andy: marvellous! - truly one of your best........Dorinda.

Comment is about Prologue to a final solution (Scenes from a film unfinished) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

hiya stella :) i thought i'd finally join, and share some of my poems, aarrghh ..lol xx

Comment is about These Hands (blog)

Original item by Tracey Bucknell

thank you for you comments on " these hands " M.c :) i'm glad you liked it :)

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Oh my god. You threw me with Milky Bar Kid and those glasses on his face and then I realised who he was.

This is fucking fantastic - scuse the french. This will haunt me now. I have goosebumps. Sorry - it's robbed me of my normal gobbiness.

Great great piece Anthony, and brilliantly written.

Comment is about buried treasure (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Am wondering why the third verse is in quotation marks. Also in the same verse, I think there may be a surplus 'not' - in this line "I cannot not believe my good luck"

Lovely poem. Again, happy mummy stuff always makes me feel a bit...envious I guess...wistful. Jealous of the joy in someone else's childhood. How very grown up of me.

This is beautifully observed...so evocative.

I love the title, btw :)

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Yup - agree 100% with the sentiment in this.

Love the use of 'flensed' - criminally under-used that word.

Like the structure and the capitalising of The Present - it really IS that important. People seem to be incapable of actually living in it, of truly enjoying RIGHT NOW, instead they harp on about the past, fret about the future.

Great poem John

Comment is about Platform (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

@RB::o)
@Stella: :o)
@Francine::o)
@CBT: :o)

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

@RB::o)
@Stella: :o)
@Francine::o)
@CBT: :o)

Comment is about There's a sigh that is written (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Enjoyed your interview. thanks. I used to be in a job that involved visiting hundreds of schools of all ages, observing children with certain disabilities. This involved in many cases observing how lessons were taught, and now and then would include English lessons. I don't know how many times I had to listen to lessons on "The Highwayman"!

Many lessons, especially in primary schools were not about creative writing, but about linguistic features, such as metaphor and simile and adjectives. I have seen displays on the walls of the foyer of some schools labelled "These are our simile poems", and comments in some children's books such as "try to use more adjectives".

I can't remember ever coming away from such a lesson thinking "that was good", or finding the children enthused by poetry. And in many cases teachers would praise work which was clearly very bad, because they did not have the time to spend in showing the children how to make it better.

In no case did I ever encounter a teacher simply sharing good poems or having fun! There always has to be some interruption, as there often is in story telling, to ask a question, or point out some feature, as if they are afraid to just let children enjoy the story or poem for itself without having some "educational" point made.

When I was at school ( a long time ago!) the thing I remember most of all was those teachers who set aside large chunks of time, usually at the end of a day for a cracking good story, (uninterrupted) which kept us rivetted, and longing for the next episode. Or the ones who allowed us to wallow in good and funny poetry, and have fun making up our own rhymes (yes - rhymes!) for the sheer pleasure of words.

Seems to me some of today's teachers have either lost the sense of fun, or have had it squeezed out by the demands of the NC, as many of you have pointed out.John Ling

Comment is about The Write Out Loud interview: Fiona Sampson (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

love it too Cynthia,

I think the title you have works perfectly.

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

kidding? if youre talking about my claims to 3 men in every town, you may be right, it could be 4 or 5 even...anything more may be percieved as greedy.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Six of one, half a dozen of the other! Hill has a point but probably for the wrong reasons. The very accessability of poetry encourages a lot of folk, including many with no ear for rhyme, rhythm or metre to write and perform their work. In music or art, lack of craft is usually quickly evident and the neophyte is discouraged or quickly takes lessons. Sadly, this doesn't occur in poetry, so many poets continue unaware that with a little effort they could improve their work and even contribute to the oeuvre.

According to the laws of good and evil, this creates a counter movement of brilliantly crafted but generally inaccessible poetry written by poets who have lost touch with reality. Somewhere in between, as in both music and art, there are the poets who have the right balance of craft and humanity who will go on to become part of the poetic legacy, to be read and enjoyed hundreds or even thousands of years hence. I suspect that neither Hill nor Duffy will be numbered amongst them.

Street patois, which is what textspeak is, is ephemeral, and is often inaccessible to the textees. The use of patois to establish time and place is good, as long as the poem does not become so time bound as to have no longevity. I'm not saying a poem has to be not of a time but of all time, but if it is immediately obscolescant that vitality isn't worth it. If a poem is vital, immediate, apposite, important, yet not comprehensible to the majority of readers, it fails at the first hurdle. A point I have to make to some writers who read incomprehensible self involved poems who when challenged state that it their poem so it doesn't matter if anyone else gets it: then why waste our time reading it to us?

Comment is about Oxford professor Hill takes Carol Ann Duffy to task (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hello Trae...good to read you :)

Comment is about These Hands (blog)

Original item by Tracey Bucknell

A charming piece, Cynthia. You conjure up that scene so well and mix past and present tense in an interesting way that makes it more immediate.

One to one time is precious in large families and that 10 minutes of 'me' time is also precious to a parent - your poem gets that message across beautifully.

It sounds like you were blessed with a very orderly mother. I think my children will remember me for chaos and laughter - and they wouldn't expect to find me sitting in a tidy kitchen with a breakfast table set - they'd be more likely to slipping into bed for a cuddle :)

'Me Time' is the only title I could come up with, as it could apply to you both. x

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hello Cynthia,
Glad you liked "Serendipity and Happenstance". I chose the very simple ballad form as it seemed to complement the subject matter nicely.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

You're not doing my street-cred any good, Izzy, when you find my erotica ("The Pit and the Pendulum") funny!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

I wanted to come back to this, to say more about it. We've all - nearly all of us - talked about the evil, the tragedy, and how some have some local knowledge about it. Apart from Ann, we've hardly acknowledged the understated effectiveness of the poem itself, its chillingly ambivalent title - and how it's as much about the killer as his victim.

Comment is about buried treasure (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Thankyou for your comment :) yes it is a problem ha x

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Hi Cynthia,
Incredibly moving poem this one.It's always the time our parents set aside for us as children that we recall with fondness,not the amount of things they did or din't buy us. How about "The Stuff Of Dreams" for a title? In any case,well done.Lovely piece of work! x

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

A fascinating discussion. One of the difficulties we face is that poetry is not a part of the Ethos of the country. In some parts of the world, being a poet will get you extra votes as a politician, here it will dramatically reduce your credibility.

I am leery of blaming schools or teachers because the system is now designed to discourage anything that is not SATs orientated. There are a lot of excellent local poets who could be brought into schools but there are huge administrative hurdles to overcome. We have made several attempts to interest local English teachers in encouraging youngsters to support local open mics but they see it as a distraction.

Peer pressure is also discouraging any interest in reading or writing poetry is suppressed until at least 18 or more. One local university won't even allow students to run an open mic on campus; and as the campus is in the middle of nowhere any interest in extra-curricular poetry is effectively suppressed though a few stalwarts go to local events or put on their own events miles from campus: poetry is effectively subsidised by small bands and comedy.

Even academics with an interest in poetry (apologies to those few exceptions who teach in at Leeds Trinity who otherwise might be personally offended by this generalisation) eschew the local poetry scene so have no idea what sort of local brilliance there might be: we have given up attempting to link up with acedemic poets at our local major university.

I don't know how to fix this, or who needs to get up on which soapbox, but we do need to be selling poetry as an intrinsic part of our national life.

Unfortunately the country sees Pam Ayres as the exemplar of National Poetry and the BBC insists on broadcasting anodyne middle of the road material, often read by actors who haven't a clue how to read poetry properly. Yet there are many excellent local poets who are entertaining, vital, and whose words just make you think and rethink immediate political and social issues - they are NOT being heard and until they are, you can bet younsters will give poetry a miss.

Comment is about The Write Out Loud interview: Fiona Sampson (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

This is so vivid. Cynthia. Could practically smell the coffee, and the feelings come to life so strongly. Precious Time?

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Blimey. I've been in a couple of hostels like that, though never as a resident thank goodness. Your poem has brought back the sense of hovering menace that I recall, and that a friend who was a resident described living with. Excellent poem Gemma.

Comment is about Pretty Young (blog)

Original item by Gemma Lees

Excellent gemma! Like Laura said you would be great performing it cos you've got a brilliant delivery style.

Mike

Comment is about Pretty Young (blog)

Original item by Gemma Lees

Hi Win. Just to add a little rider to Dark Nights. My Mum told me that my grandad once dropped his false teeth down the tippler and fished them out with a stick ,cleaned them up with boiling water and put them back in!
It didn't affect him 'cos he lived to a good age but he did talk a load of shit though! Ha! Ha!

Mike

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

very moving and thought provoking were know your talernted that goes with out saying need I say more x

Comment is about Prologue to a final solution (Scenes from a film unfinished) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Painfully good poem. Thanks for that.

Comment is about Prologue to a final solution (Scenes from a film unfinished) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

The editting hours spent on this piece beggar belief. If I've shared it before, this is an updated version. I've decided to leave my original title, even though it is rather common. I've come across at least two poems with the same name. Actually, suggestions would be welcome, if anyone cares to do so.

Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Lovely! You MUST have taken The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam as your stimulus {one of my favourite pieces ever}.... this is so reminiscent of its delicate simplicity and sheer beauty!
Cate xx

Comment is about genesis (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Kind hearts still end up on a plate!
Cate xx

Comment is about KIND HEARTS (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

A lovely life affirming poem Isobel. I like the beginning... almost biblical in its form. Life throws shit at us. It`s how you deal with it that counts.
Cate xx

Comment is about No. 4 (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hello Anthony, its been a while since I commented on this site, but I couldn`t let this one go without an acknowledgement .
It`s a very powerful and moving piece of work. Even the title hurts something inside. Its the spectoral nightmare of anyone with children or grandchildren. Like Andy says for the family it will never go away.
May they both rot in hell.
Cate xx

Comment is about buried treasure (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Andy, glad you liked my scribblings. Win x

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Subject - original
Treatment - imaginative
Result - pleasing!

Comment is about These Hands (blog)

Original item by Tracey Bucknell

The imagination - and the rhythm - are as good
as ever. If JC isn't interested in Professor of Poetry at Oxford, perhaps you should apply!
I wonder if knowing about animal diseases goes with that position? :-)

Comment is about KIND HEARTS (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant