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genesis

entry picture

 

genesis

 

Here we are now

You

and

I

beneath our

broad and

bounteous

sky

our

firmament

of

roaring

stars

on this

fragile

globe

of ours

this realm of fire

and dust

and space

this

elemental

human

race

as far as we

can know

or see

there’s

no one

here

but you

and me

adrift

alone

anonymous

no them

no they

no one

but

us

 

should we seek

our maker’s name

or dare

to ask

from whence

we came

some fossil

of

the artist’s

hand

to urge us on

to understand

the

myth and magic

guile and graft

chance and

circumstance

or craft

which

brought us

mewling

puking

here

this hour

this star

this

rare

and

random

sphere

 

the chosen ones

just

You

and me

or simply

serendipity?

 

serendipityWOL compserendipity WOL Comp

◄ bay 3

buried treasure ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Sun 4th Mar 2012 21:39

I missed this first time round, Antony. My loss. It is really good.
If I don't win I hope the world blows up; but if it doesn't, I hope you win.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 4th Mar 2012 14:27

I like this too, Anthony. There are some beautiful images with original phrasing and fine rhyming. IMO, I would have preferred the lines more closely linked so that the thought was quicker to grasp, and easier to retain. Twice I thought the poem must be finished, and then it just picked up again.

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Lynn Dye

Sat 3rd Mar 2012 17:22

Perfect poem, very much enjoyed.

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Cate Greenlees

Sun 5th Feb 2012 17:40

Lovely! You MUST have taken The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam as your stimulus {one of my favourite pieces ever}.... this is so reminiscent of its delicate simplicity and sheer beauty!
Cate xx

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Ray Miller

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 17:09

Very good, Anthony. "this rare and random sphere" provided a bump in the rhythm for me - I'd have thought just "this random sphere" would do.

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 2nd Feb 2012 19:28



I agree with Helen about the design. The rhyming down the line and absence of punctuation compels a slow, thoughtful reading. (tried it along the line and it `goes` more quickly)

I`m not a convinced fan of either, but this one very definitely `works`.

Lovely written (and recited) poem.

Helen Thomas

Thu 2nd Feb 2012 18:59

A very intelligently designed poem! I agree with Francine re. the near rhymes which give the poem a subtle rhythm evocative of the ebb and flow of all that time it's taken for us to get here. Also enjoyed the audio - especially the intriguing effects at the beginning.

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Isobel

Thu 2nd Feb 2012 17:35

I don't think there is any better example of serendipity than life itself - the monumental accident and coincidences that lead us to be...

I've actually started writing my entry for this comp and it was very much tied up to this idea - though no-one will believe me now - cos you've just landed on the moon and planted the flag...

I love your poetry and I love your mind - is that a form of narcissism?

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Dave Bradley

Thu 2nd Feb 2012 17:02

Crafted by an intelligent and creative soul. Just like the universe.

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Francine

Thu 2nd Feb 2012 01:05

I love it!
We have all wondered about this at one time or another, and you incorporate the religious with the non-religious beliefs so well in this. I love the title and artwork too - one of my favourite from the Sistine Chapel.

I was also struck initially by these words, but it gives it an edge of forcefulness in the sentiments expressed.

'myth and magic
guile and graft'

'mewling
puking'

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