Isobel

No. 4

by Isobel

Thursday 2nd February 2012 10:22 pm

Against all odds

it came to pass,

that the seed falling

on rocky ground,

grew

never knew

the role it played

the weight it bore

on camel’s back

this one last blade

breaking in its wake

future, present, past

imperfect words

in a hostile world

too full of tense

He looked for answers

for someone to blame

she

played the same game

like a kid on a sleepover

hiding the light

the lightness

the glow inside

treading time

like waters

breaking all the rules

till it was she

and the world

couldn’t help

but smile

Against all odds

it came to pass

that dust and gas

played host to ice

and on that rocky ground

the sun shone

oceans swelled

and tides turned again

for the world was new

and all was well

serendipity WOL comp

◄ The Tudor

Love's Labour's Lost ►

Comments

nick armbrister

Thu 3rd May 2012 19:59

theres a lot in this, like a what you call it, a microcosm/macrocosm (large/small) thing about life. planets and people even. very different read:)

Cate Greenlees

Sun 5th Feb 2012 17:30

A lovely life affirming poem Isobel. I like the beginning... almost biblical in its form. Life throws shit at us. It`s how you deal with it that counts.
Cate xx

Andy N

Sun 5th Feb 2012 13:40

Great stuff, Isobel - particularly the third stanza but it's top stuff throughout.. x

<Deleted User> (5984)

Sun 5th Feb 2012 12:42

Wow. I really, really love this poem. I like the lack of punctuation and the poem's arrangement, the subtle, gentle rhymes. I think the half rhymes are employed effectively and it is such an incredibly sensual poem and it just flows. Beautiful.x

Isobel

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 23:45

I thought all my thought connections were pretty obvious in this, but maybe that's because I conceived it :)

Very many human lives are accidental, unplanned, initially unwanted even.

I mirrored this fact with the universal truth, that life on earth is also accidental, unplanned; exact conditions for a habitable planet being billions to one. If you are of a strong traditional faith, you may disagree with that concept - though I'm not saying there isn't a creator somewhere - dust and gas and metorites of ice had to come from somewhere - everything has to have an initial source.

One thing that links both sides of the mirror is that life can be wonderful - surprisingly beautiful - new unspoilt life, in particular.

Dave Bradley

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 19:43

Pondering this one, I think what you're saying is that the birth of a child (in your case a very special child) is resonant of the creation of the universe. In which case YEAH!!! But that might be wrong. It's intriguing anyway - plenty for the imagination to run away with

Isobel

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 17:24

Thank you everyone. I think you've been amazingly restrained there Ray ;)

Yes Laura, there is a child in there - a brown eyed beautiful one with a very mischievous sense of humour. I had to restrain how much I waxed on about her in case it became too sentimental. It's hard to think now that she might not have been, but for the incompetance of a surgeon.

As Anthony and JC's poem on the theme suggest - life is so accidental in many ways - and so glorious when we get it right. I love the way the same idea can be handled so differently by poets. That's the great thing about these comps.

Ray Miller

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 17:04

Took a while to grasp the last verse. It's a nice poem - a hostile word too full of tense is very good, I think.

Mike Hilton

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 12:53

Great poem Isobel. Love the rhythm and use of some great lines - 'that dust and gas played host to ice and on that rocky ground the sun shone......'

Hope to see you at the Tudor next week

Mike

Laura Taylor

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 11:31

Some great lines in this - love that 'too full of tense'.

Got me wondering what No 4 is - hesitate to take a guess. A child, maybe?

Your poetry is taking very different turns lately Isobel, and it's refreshing and enjoyable to watch/read :)

<Deleted User> (6315)

Fri 3rd Feb 2012 07:24

love this Izz :)

Rachel Bond

Thu 2nd Feb 2012 23:44

great poem x

Anthony Emmerson

Thu 2nd Feb 2012 22:44

It was only one of those cheap, paper flags that you stick on a sandcastle. This is more like the proverbial "towel on the sun-lounger." Shrew indeed!

Regards,
A.E.

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