Rachel oh Rachel
(my word is my bond)
In three generations
(no need to despond)
your touch will have gone,
like the tread that you leave
and only a name's leftÂ
for those that will grieve.
But along with your thoughts
(that furnish your lines)
there's a sigh that is written
- your voice echoes betimes .
Words and foto T Carroll
The title line is lovely. IMO, in the last line, leave out 'so'; it's unnecessary, and cripples the beat that is much part of the charm of this little verse, together with personalities, of course.
<Deleted User> (6315)
Fri 3rd Feb 2012 07:27
:))
Awww... This is really lovely.
ah look theres us sighing by the beach x
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Tommy Carroll
Mon 6th Feb 2012 10:14
@RB::o)
@Stella: :o)
@Francine::o)
@CBT: :o)