I don't normally like long poems but I was hooked after the first verse of this. I love the structure of it and the powerful use of imagery.

I can empathise with the content of the poem and want to thank you for being so honest.

Comment is about ate my heart (blog)

Original item by Pity-Poetry

Of course - now that you mention it, I do recall
those electric clippers. But even more - the
click-click of the barber's scissors wielded
with such dexterity over a small boy's head in
the long-ago seaside town of my birth.

Comment is about Martin Elder (poet profile)

Original item by Martin Elder

Thank you for the encouraging comment, Natalie.

Personally I always overuse 'and' even when I don't need to because it makes you feel in the middle of something even if it is the beginning or the end or cutting off a thought. I do agree though on that once instance of removing 'but'.

Comment is about ate my heart (blog)

Original item by Pity-Poetry

er....EXCUSE ME SOLAR!but you are addressing a lady who allows her 'Benji' to have his bones in her bed.So put that phone down! ;0)


Enjoyed Lynn-keep 'em coming.xx

Comment is about Doggy Walk (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

This is a very interesting and a very different poem. I like your intelligence used at rhyming the words with the ones.
I like the fact that it's short and easy to understand :)

Nelly x

Comment is about My Inner Child (blog)

Thank you Steve for appreciating my poem.
Nelly x

Comment is about Steve Higgins (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Higgins

Excellent stuff . .

Comment is about Write Your Own Lines (blog)

Original item by Candice Reineke

I greatly appreciate the feedback! Thank you very much! "Brave is Tyr" does sound a lot better.

Comment is about The Bound One (blog)

Original item by Lopt the Treacherous

Lol, Solar
I think I need the RSPCP - for people - my dog rules the roost in our house! He's quite funny, he likes to choose which way we walk, and if he puts the brakes on, that's it, there's no shifting him!
Thank you for your lovely comment.x

Thank you, Daniel,
Yes, there's nothing quite like a dog for inspiration - thanks for comment.x

Comment is about Doggy Walk (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanx a lot Patricia & Stefan for reading my entry....all the best

Comment is about Desperate (blog)

Original item by Hari Das

Falling Apart

A black hole
sliding into obscurity
till grit itself
gains an edge
this sixth sense
helps you to
escape the trauma.

The theme for the night - - - grit

Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

A great vision of an heavenly art-form from the silver, silent steel eagles. Great imagination with the angels, hopscotch and tripe Andy.
Good one.

Comment is about VAPOUR TALES (VERSION). (blog)

Natalie - you have a wonderful blog of work. So much in such a short time. Very good poetry.

I'm sure sometimes in our life we have all wanted to get things right, not offend and then 'sit on the fence'. I can't really see you with this monologue... a politician maybe...
(I just get a vision of Tony Blair when I read this) ;)

'God knows I try' is also a little marvel.
Great works.

Comment is about Hedging Bets (blog)

'A Dog is for inspiration... not just for life'!

For stubborn little dog's everywhere thanks for all the sounds and visions you give to us as you lead us on your walks. Nice work Lynn and thanks for your kind words on Wandsworth Wuffian.

Much appreciated.

Comment is about Doggy Walk (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Some great lines:
'sleep is for the stale'
'knee deep in the linen of our lives'

I like the frustration - it comes through!!

Comment is about Edie Hope (poet profile)

Original item by Edie Hope

powerful read!x

Comment is about The Circus of People (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

when you do find out who you are Natalie,let me know how you did it-I'll be its next user.

very good piece.x

Comment is about Who am I? (blog)

'stubborn little dog'...hmmmm now wheres that phone number for the RSPCA?....:0)


lovely airy poem Lynn.x

Comment is about Doggy Walk (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Gave me goosebumps this Ian - extremely well written, and clever of you to put Jesus in the picture. I'd be a CO without a doubt.

Comment is about White Feather (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

So intimate. I could almost be in the room with you. And how delicate to lift a peach slice to your lover's lips.

Beautiful poem Tommy.

Comment is about The Astronomer and her star-gazer. (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Excellent. Badly lit mirrors and watery smiles, and I love the metaphor running through it.

Comment is about The Circus of People (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

I've read soooo many break-up/love-turned-sour poems, and almost all of them are certainly cathartic for the writer, but just not very good I'm afraid, not crafted. Just an outpouring.

This is most certainly crafted. This is jampacked with such wonderful phrasing. You clearly have a deep love of language - one which I really appreciate.

An absolute pleasure to read - which may be a strange thing to say about such an aching poem, but it is achingly beautiful, as well as dripping with sadness.

I love it.

Comment is about The saddest lines... (blog)

Original item by Noris Roberts

Grrr.....what an evocative and sexy poem. I love the stillness of it, as you gaze. Very cleverly done.

I don't think it needs development myself. It captures that turn, that moment when your eyes go WOW, and travel over the beauty of the body. And those moments do tend to be fleeting. To my mind, there is little sexier in life than watching a woman dress or undress.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Lopt
I like this one best of those you have posted so far. "I am not one for tricks." That's right, a lot of this poem works in pace and character. I think "Brave is Tyr" would be a much better than "Brave Tyr is" which breaks the spell and confuses, then "Angry am I". And the picture is a distraction. But the message and the manner (inc. names of bonds: quite right too - and kennings coming in, better "all father" than Odin) pretty much spot on. Well done.
Dom.

Comment is about The Bound One (blog)

Original item by Lopt the Treacherous

Wow, this is really clever, Daniel. I always find haikus are too short unless you make a whole poem of them like this, which I have tried in the past also. I like what you say about that guy, without going into too much detail. Good one.

Comment is about WANDSWORTH WUFFIAN (blog)

Original item by Daniel Dwyran

I love what this says, and also what it doesn't say, if you get my drift. Nice one, Tommy.

Comment is about The Astronomer and her star-gazer. (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Beautiful poem, Cynthia, very much enjoyed.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Ha thanks! And that "two-hour lunch" included reading some of YOUR poems guys ;)

Comment is about Write Your Own Lines (blog)

Original item by Candice Reineke

Haha this is great! Everyone has had a conversation like this, right? Feelings...hesitations...misunderstandings...and some of it while on the toilet no doubt ;) By the way, thanks for your comments on "Write Your Own Lines" and "Don't Put Me in Your Box".

Comment is about Hedging Bets (blog)

Welcome Natalie
I like the fact that this is straight to the point. I also like unravelling and one night stand. Your use of words in both of these pieces is great. look forward to seeing more.

Comment is about God Knows I Try (blog)

Beautiful x

Comment is about Write Your Own Lines (blog)

Original item by Candice Reineke

wonderful poetic slice of history.

xx

Comment is about For Jeffrey Hudson (blog)

Original item by David Cooke

very much heartfelt lines.We loved it.

Thanks Hari Das.xx

Comment is about Desperate (blog)

Original item by Hari Das

welcome to the club!-not sweet(obviously)
-but oh so succinctly neat!

xx

Comment is about God Knows I Try (blog)

wow superb very nice but but i think it can be developed more for more sensations .....best of luck good work

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Be happy Dominique u had written well that mirror reflected with a punch of philosophy got it what u feel'd....best of luck

Comment is about Those Days (blog)

Original item by Dominique Smith-Bryant

Very good. It's honesty at its core without the frills and fanfare. Good piece!

Comment is about God Knows I Try (blog)

The white feather treatment meted out in those days was harsh indeed - and often a sign of
the mob effect on those whose situations were
invariably unknown to the perpetrator(s).
However, I admit ambivalence on the subject of
conscientious objectors. I can understand
their loathing of taking life but don't see why
they cannot serve - as stretcher bearers etc.
Otherwise, they seem unwilling to take part
but ready enough to enjoy the results of the
sacrifice of others even unto death once the conflict is over.
That is beyond my understanding or sympathy.

Comment is about White Feather (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Thank you Natalie, you're very kind. I'm gald to hear you've read it aloud - that's by far the best way.

Comment is about THE SMALL HOURS (re-post). (blog)

I hardly need to explore this further, the poem itself is so well presented, and detailed, but I shall. Thanks for a mind-opening subject.

Comment is about For Jeffrey Hudson (blog)

Original item by David Cooke

You have a deft pen, Ian, and the searching mind to go with it - a far-reaching, effective combination.

Comment is about White Feather (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

This is lovely. I'm not sure what I understand, but it's still lovely - in a gets-into-your-head kind of way, and your feelings.

Comment is about The Astronomer and her star-gazer. (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

A very fresh take on a very old theme, with imagination and skill. The concluding lines are excellent.

Comment is about The Circus of People (blog)

Original item by Twilbury Wist

Well written Charlotte x

Comment is about 355, Flat 2, at 21 (blog)

Original item by Charlotte

Haiku... You write the first and never know where the flow will go. I think I ended up with the songs from 'Junior Choice' meet the scenes from 'Midnight Express'!

Glad you got it and liked it Martin. Much appreciated.

Comment is about WANDSWORTH WUFFIAN (blog)

Original item by Daniel Dwyran

Excellent poem!xx

Comment is about Write Your Own Lines (blog)

Original item by Candice Reineke

Just finished reading this and it's brilliant.

Comment is about Poet Nathan Filer scoops £30,000 Costa award with first novel (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Thanks for your comments on the red chair M.C.
I also realised after posting this that I had forgotten about the buzz of the electric cutters.
Cheers

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Very clever Daniel I like it. I can't imagine many people whistling his tunes now.

Comment is about WANDSWORTH WUFFIAN (blog)

Original item by Daniel Dwyran

Hi James
Thank you sincerely for your very kind words.
I just want you to know that you have a wonderful blog of work.
Anyone who has ever been smitten by love should be able to relate to your work 'On the Influences of Love'... delete 'dime store' and insert 'poundshop' for the people of the UK.. but it is great as it is.

'The Slow Boy' is a beacon of hope for anyone, regardless of gender, with confidence and self-belief.
"It's amazing what that boy achieved
When he failed to listen, but believed...

I hope that somebody more articulate than I could read, comment and maybe analyse your poem 'A River' (after first reading your preface 'I thought to try something different').
It is indeed a most beautiful piece of work.

I am humbled that you like my stuff! Thank you.

Comment is about James Roper (poet profile)

Original item by James Roper