convulsing on the side of the road

sitting 

sad ass on the thin white

line

like the thin white

line

will walk away with another

girl

if I walk back home

every time you become

that other girl

another one

walks away with your 

thin white line

so I sat for an

hour or so

that one Thursday 

wishing that asshole

Andrew would want to sit 

with me

I can't handle 

you

wanting to see me

all the time

so, unfaithful to

his promise

to give 'us' back 

to me

he ate my heart

slowly and unbalanced 

a cannibal doesn't 

know

they are a cannibal 

and I suppose

like an addiction 

they can't resist 

the meat

the sun was hot

finally

walking back

in my room I 

stood in front of 

my medium-sized

oval mirror

I slipped my prom 

dress

over my head 

red and black

dead flowers

furniture polish 

burned my nostrils

down my throat 

slit the black

with numbing 

light

passed out on my bed

mind swimming

literally

if I moved my feet 

I realized I had feet

and they felt

odd

as if I was spinning

or walking

or running

in circles 

in and out

of this state

like an illegal

immigrant 

I made myself

believe 

I was paralyzed 

sleep arrested me

the law caught up

with the rancid

taste 

under my tongue

but I never died

I never did anything

but shit furniture polish

I was a walking

unstable 

laxative

even then I would

go on for another 

month 

smothering

Andrew with what I 

forced into us

as love

and then I found

it was me who

ate my heart