Couldn't put it any better than Cynthia - compelling poetry Jon that come from that raw place inside. I wonder how many of us on here have taken a similar fall - so glad you survived it xxx

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Jon Darby

Hello you! You read my poem well - though perhaps it helped seeing me perform it :)

Restrained - that's me - I'm incapable of gushing publicly - but you should see me in private ;;)))xxxx

Comment is about Jon Darby (poet profile)

Original item by Jon Darby

I LOVE this! It's wonderfully un pretentious, accessible but so cleverly put together. (My favourite kind) xxx

Comment is about The Single Man (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hello Cynthia, thank you so much for your comment on Just the three of us, its greatly appreciated to have thoughts on my works as I'm always trying to improve, I will revise the last line as you said ;)
Thanks again and I hope you're well xx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks Dominic for your wonderful comment on Just the three of us, intimacy is exactly what I was aiming for! It's a challenge to write romantic poetry free from cliché haha. Thanks again!!!! x

Comment is about Dominic James (poet profile)

Original item by Dominic James

Indeed! and I appreciate your quiet professionalism as it saves me looking like a total plonker ;) haha, thanks again x

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thank you so much for your comment on Just the three of us. I'm steadily getting there, wonderful comments always motivate me to keep going so I do really appreciate it. Thanks again :)

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

I have sent my BIO to the wrong place - God knows where. Another one coming up later today. Damn!

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

we totally agree with all previous appraisals.xx

Comment is about A CROWD. (blog)

long time,no read!tis indeed good to see you back Josh.Love this poem.xx

Comment is about Beyond Doubt (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

This Way

Words work this way
enraptured together this way
preserved always this way
collectively endorsed this way.

Comment is about September Collage Poem: Merseyways (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

This is interesting. Whoever he is, he sounds like a good'n.

Comment is about What a Foreign Concept (blog)

Good to hear back from you, Josh. I really like the comments under your profile, because I totally agree with them.

Comment is about Beyond Doubt (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

ps SA, what is 'Bazzin? (spoken in the manner of: ''what is this thing called 'love'?'')

Comment is about Shirley-Anne Kennedy (poet profile)

Original item by Shirley-Anne Kennedy

Hi Kassandra
I like the flow of this and the way you have rounded it off 'And once again the moonlight was her only friend'
great

Comment is about Silence (blog)

Original item by Kassandra Morris

Germ ingestion is a gamble. Allowing germs into the gut etc can be beneficial, it is dependent upon what germ and to what amount. I think exposing bacteria/viruses etc to sun and air can often weaken it and becomes a type of inoculation. We played 'ollies' in the street gutters and were exposed to a myriad of germs including dog dirt. I think the coughs, snivels, sores and tummy aches (especially around the mouth and eyes)could be a sign of this 'inoculation'. I think children's fascination with excrement is an acquired version of this self inoculation.

Comment is about Back To Basic Bacteria (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you all for your kind comments. Forgive my ignorance, M.C., I'll have to check out Invictus. This poem sprang from the announcer's words you hear after a radio play; 'other parts were played by members of the cast'. That line was rattling around my head for ages.

Comment is about A CROWD. (blog)

Thank you for your comments on 'Beyond Doubt' Cynthia. You are always generous with them. I have made some edits in accordance with your suggestions.
-Josh

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

"if only I had been so beautifully
camouflaged as I am now"

Stunning, striking line. And then the end does it again. Another great entry in the canon Mr Whiteley.

Comment is about Snipers (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

thanks for reading and commenting Daniel

Comment is about Daniel Dwyran (poet profile)

Original item by Daniel Dwyran

Hi Cynthia, thanks for commenting on my latest. 'Mistitled' is more directly examining the human trait of wanting to shed fame through self-destruction. It was actually written before Robin Williams (RIP) was still with us, a couple of months ago, but I agree that it can be linked directly to his own 'case'.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Hi Isobel...lovely poem about finding love again as i recall from your tudor performance? Nicely done...alnost restrained yet full of meaning. Loved it! X

Comment is about Turning Over Stones (blog)

Original item by Isobel

unbelievably fantaz!xx

Comment is about Fibonacci on the last school run (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

I can't improve on Cynthia's comment so I'll just echo it with "Bazzin" ;)

Left me wondering about these two and craving more. Is it love? Is it a covert operation? Is there more?

Comment is about A meeting in Algiers (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

there is a lot of anger in this natalie but i like the reference on a plate and waiting for crumbs is a great image.

what's also good is the fact is you kept it short and sharp. certainly not short and sweet. excellent.

Comment is about Too Late! (blog)

i really like the pacing and the detail in the words kassandra. would hate to try and perform it however as would be out of breath after the second line however.

excellent stuff

andy n

Comment is about Flame (blog)

Original item by Kassandra Morris

piece has a really good circular affect, ian. i really enjoyed this. top stuff m8

Comment is about Snipers (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

probably my favourite of yours so far, Charlotte - great throughout but the first four lines really pulled me in. well done x

Comment is about Just the three of us. (blog)

Original item by Charlotte

proud to been a part of this as always john. i think cynthia is dead right here with this

Comment is about September Collage Poem: Merseyways (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

I find this fascinating. Electric atmosphere. Visual details like a police camera, or a keen-eyed observer, enhanced by other senses made possible by actually being within the scene. Thoughts like a novelist playing the God-hand. Opposing characters offering relationships.

The last stanza is genius.

You must be writing a novel.

Comment is about A meeting in Algiers (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Simply put but very compelling.

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Jon Darby

This really is an insightful 'modern' poem, actually quite 'dark' as underscored 'with broken ankles'. I can hear clear-voiced artists singing this to the lament of a simple guitar - someone with excellent diction. The simple 'message' is almost buried in details, yet breaks through relentlessly with the reminder of 'broken ankles'.

Or I'm totally off-mark.

Comment is about Tiger Mountain (blog)

Original item by Tom

This is very good, intense in theme and presentation, with precise diction supporting strong images. I like the ancient idea that life itself is nothing but mirrors.

Did the fate of Robin Williams bring this work into focus?

Comment is about Mistitled (blog)

Original item by David Blake

This is really good - the diction, the imagery, the atmosphere built on details. But most of all the theme -the 'posing' - literally and figuratively, with ruthless intent, which is neatly re-phrased in conclusion. Juxtaposed against fragility!

Check 'the one who marks her letters...' to avoid a grammar misstep at the very end.

I must do some catching up on your works.

Comment is about Just the three of us. (blog)

Original item by Charlotte

These collages are very interesting. The 'hodge-podge' effect of such disparate ideas is like reading a many-authored chapbook.

Comment is about September Collage Poem: Merseyways (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

The intent of these words is excellent, clear and rich. The directing of these ideas with so much punctuation is awkward. I do think you have three basic sentences. Let them breathe. IMO, if in doubt, leave out.

Also, IMO, pick 'dampening' or 'despondency'. Me, I like 'despondency' with 'dampening' inherent in its effect, and it sounds better in this context. :) I'm really not bossy, just interested.

It's really great to see you on-line again. I hope you are well, and happy.

Comment is about Beyond Doubt (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

This is an excellent theme, and very atmospheric in development.

IMO, it runs into wordiness which, if sensitively culled, would leave a more impactive poem, without loss of intent.

Comment is about Stillness (blog)

Original item by Ad Astra

Hey Natalie...love the line "thinking i'd still be on a plate". Love the poem too and thanks very much for recent comments. :)

Comment is about Too Late! (blog)

Tried to make a profile pic but failed miserably...me and technology.

Comment is about picture (photo)

Original item by Jon Darby

I like this, being both articulate and nearly mute at once raises the intimacy of the poem. Very touching. Best wishes, Dom.

Comment is about Just the three of us. (blog)

Original item by Charlotte

Hello Kassandria,

Welcome to Write Out Loud, we hope you are enjoying the site and we're really looking forward to reading some of your work. I know that you will be warmly welcomed by other WOL-ers too.

Its good to see that you've already uploaded a picture of yourself, it’s really good to see what our fellow poets look like.

Have a good look around, there’s always lots going on and if you have the time to make some comments about the work of other poets please feel free to do so, it’s often the best way to get some constructive feedback about your own work too.
There’s usually somebody who’ll help you out with any problems that you might encounter, so just ask and someone will get back to you.
WOL is a friendly, creative and unassuming place, so welcome from all of us once again.

Graham & The Write Out Loud Team.

Comment is about Kassandra Morris (poet profile)

Original item by Kassandra Morris

Tarrabunch Shirl. Thanks for taking the trouble to read and comment on my offerings. Much appreciated. Thought I'd have a go at a couple of war poems as I have been asked to read at a Remembrance festival in October so the comments are doubly valuable.

Comment is about Shirley-Anne Kennedy (poet profile)

Original item by Shirley-Anne Kennedy

Thank you for reading my offerings and taking the trouble to comment Daniel, it is really appreciated.

Comment is about Daniel Dwyran (poet profile)

Original item by Daniel Dwyran

If nothing else it proves I read your work with quiet professionalism. ;)

Comment is about Charlotte (poet profile)

Original item by Charlotte

thighs, thighs, bloody thighs!!!! Haha thank you x

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

''things'' or ''thighs''? Tommy

Comment is about Just the three of us. (blog)

Original item by Charlotte

The first line and the photo enticed me in...

So much in there. Many visions. Had to read it a few times to capture the intensity of it. Brilliant.

Comment is about Fibonacci on the last school run (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

You blew it... I knew it... Very assertive. Go Natalie! ;)

Comment is about Too Late! (blog)

Another gooden Ian. Keep em coming. Tommy

Comment is about Snipers (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Real Snipers... do you really see them? The photograph you have used... if you saw him in the street, again, would you really see him?
Another great work Ian. I like the end of the poem as it kind of creeps up on you and gives you a reality check. Nice one.

Comment is about Snipers (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley