Has a magic realist slightly psychedelicised vibe to it. The choice of Anais is inspired. Excellent Ray.
Suki
Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)
Original item by Rick Gammon
Good evening David, I was typing my previous response so long (with one eye on Match of the Day) that you managed to post your comment in the mean time!
Thank you so much, your interpretations could all help explain the piece. My intention was to write a distressing fantasy about a person who becomes somebody else (who is quite dysfunctional) and are distressed because they know what's happening to them but have no control.
Over-active imagination? Guilty as charged your honour ?
Paul
Edit. David, just read your previous comment, no problem, I found it a really interesting point.
Comment is about Being Someone Else (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Cynthia, thank you...lovely as ever to read your comments.
Col, what an adventure-filled day you've had, with a touch of daring-do (so says Daring Waring). Beware! Sat night tv is the devil in disguise ?. Hope you've had chance to relax and find yourself now! And thanks so much for the praise.
Paul
Comment is about Being Someone Else (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
an interesting conception to have a fantasy figure falling short of imagined perfection and the consequent patching together , perhaps to take into account the failure of our own heroic figures.
An effective and fascinating trip with the prospect of holding one's head high. A worthy winner !
Ray
Comment is about 'Around the Cirrus and Nimbostratus' by Simon Widdop is Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (13762)
Sat 8th Apr 2017 20:16
I drove up the wrong side of the road today. Was looking for the VW garage after a long cycle ride in the Swansea sun. Turned out to be a Skoda and Seat garage now. They'd moved the Vdubs across town which was annoying as we'd cycled near to it earlier on. So we drove across town and the nice woman served us hot chocolates and we apologised for looking so scruffy and could we use your loo please to wash our oily hands before sitting in the manager's ex-demo runaround that was in reality a bit more than we wanted to spend and no we don't have a hard copy brochure for that model but I can email one if you like. I also cycled in the pedestrian lane a few times but only to frighten the little kiddies on scooters. Paul, why is Saturday TV so bad? Great poem.
All the best,
Mr Someone Else
Comment is about Being Someone Else (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Philipos
Sat 8th Apr 2017 19:45
Buck's antlers eh? I can just see them falling about. Well get your own back then. Stare them out. They couldn't cope with that. Just kidding of course. And thanks for your kind comments on Curfew, which reminds me i have to be somewhere by 8pm or I'll be timed out.
Comment is about Garden Party (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Hi Hazel, loved this, but I don't think "garbage" was a strong enough word. I treat lawns for a living, and leaves are absolutely the bain of my life. They look nice enough on the trees though.
Cheers Kevin
Comment is about Autumn Leaves (blog)
Original item by Hazel ettridge
Good one. Excellent topic. I couldn't watch war movies of any kind for years - freaked me out. Still haven't seen 'Saving Private Ryan', a 'recent' film. Thought I'd grow out of it, but maybe not.
Comment is about JACK AND JOHN (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
To the open heart and mind, words always come.
Comment is about Morning Writing (blog)
Original item by Ricky
Welcome to WOL. Will you share with us where you live? We have so many friends now, around the world.
Comment is about Gelo leysa (poet profile)
Original item by Gelo leysa
Very interesting premise, well developed. A good take on the 'I'm just not myself to-day' syndrome, so commonly flipped out.
Comment is about Being Someone Else (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Another excellent contribution. Thanks.
Comment is about DEATH OF NELSON (blog)
Original item by David Subacchi
With many thanks to excellent ideas for changes. I totally take your points. But I have decided that I will leave this work basically as it is.
After much consideration, I understand that I do not want 'clarity' or 'precision' because there is nothing clear or precise about the situation. Nor do I want specific images that can be isolated from the whole, because each thought/observation/reaction bleeds together to 'be' the whole. They cannot exist separately in a straight line. It's not everyone's 'thing'; but this time, it's 'my thing', written in circles, convolutions, frontwards, backwards, exactly as I want. Relationships of words flow throughout. Not everything in life can be 'pinned down' to logic.
Comment is about Girl in a Lake (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Well I'm with you Cynthia, poo, is a dirty word. I think it's a shame we have shuffled away from cock and plumped for the puritan's, cockerel, but we all manage the to and fro of vowels between the English and American, with cups and rubbers on the tube. But i'd rather say shit and shiolah anyday, than come to terms with poo. Posh too.
Comment is about Garden Party (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Well, I'm never exactly sure when I might take a good thing too far. I hope this isn't one of those times.
Comment is about Garden Party (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
You can find more of my poetry including videos on line by searching on DAVID SUBACCHI.
Comment is about DEATH OF NELSON (blog)
Original item by David Subacchi
If justice can emerge, the culprit(s) should be hauled
before the court that waits to judge culpability.
Dictators and their supporters feed off each other and
that is very obvious in the alliance between the reigning
politicians of Syria and their big collaborator - Russia...
the biggest friend of the word "No (niet!)" in any United
Nations attempt to confront tyranny.
Comment is about Chemical Attack - Syria (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
Thanks everyone,
(I was just trying to re-record the gratitude)
Graham, I agree with that Gentile...(If only I could do stuff like `the Book of Job`.)...Now that`s bed-rock reality!
get back commenting shortly...(I `ope! ?)
Comment is about Colette (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
"The signs of new life came into bloom", it's like spring following a harsh winter. I just feel for the poor people around the world who are still going through it.
sadly I notice your very next poem is about Syria, no spring in sight there.
Kevin
Comment is about Just after... (blog)
Original item by keith jeffries
really good.
if this story was on the telly, it would be a mini-series, as there was too much happening for one episode. yet you were able to tell the whole story in one poem.
I agree with Keith, "it says much more than the words you have used".
Kevin
Comment is about Robbers tongue (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder
Sorry Daniel, but I'm just not having that. I've been reading through some of your stuff, and I'm sure that when you take to the mic people put their mobiles down and listen.
Another good 'un, albeit too modest.
Cheers Kevin.
Comment is about THE INSIGNIFICANT POET (blog)
Original item by Daniel Dwyran
Keith - you're welcome! It was another that started in my
overnight bed and emerged more fully as I lay there
resisting the feeling I should get up! Not the first time
it's happened to yours truly. But inspiration - whatever
its source - is not to be sneezed at.
MC
Comment is about JACK AND JOHN (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
elP - don't get carried away now - it's all in a dream! As a musician I was lucky to get free travel at one time .
I hope you get what you wish for.
Ray
Comment is about NIGHT ERRORS (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Aythangyow Paul - i'm afraid the reference was purely between the sheets !
Col: I love the brevity and nice to hear from you .
Martin: Glad you enjoyed this, cheers.
Ray
Comment is about HISTORIES AND MYSTERIES (blog)
Original item by ray pool
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 7th Apr 2017 19:06
lovely lilting rhythm to this piece Zakiya especially in the first half. I like the repetition of some of the words and the rhymes within lines like broken / awoken. Yes, rhymes don't have to be relegated to the ends of lines and mixing them up adds layers in my opinion. Thanks for posting.
Colin
Comment is about Not Noticed by Zakiya Johnson (blog)
Original item by Abstract Mystery
Thanks John for your kind comment and praise of my first audio attempt. It is especially nice coming from you who has probably led the way on here with recordings.
Cheers,
Paul
Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
for a moment I misread the two lines to do with marshmallows and cellophane which made me think of a box of weekend chocolates for those old enough to remember of which our local shop at the time had a dummy display box made of cellophane. Don't know where I was going with that. None the less a very good poem Trevor
Comment is about Lucy’s Lament (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
The line about interplanetary flight definitely gives the poem a real sense of mystery on another level.
Nice one Ray
Comment is about HISTORIES AND MYSTERIES (blog)
Original item by ray pool
I'm a great fan of this sort of tale Martin, and you do the form justice with a tender and fair hand. The woodcutter carries such a wealth of imagery in the word and belongs to a time of John Bull strength and past glories in a simple frame. Lovely.
Ray
Comment is about Robbers tongue (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder
This is a tough subject so beautifully described, puts me in mind of Neil young's song
'I have seen the needle and the damage done'
I fully understand this as I have seen the damage done by the needle to people.
good poem
Comment is about Epidemic (blog)
Original item by Melissa Gentile
At least there is no train strike on Monday - - - it's on Saturday instead!
The theme for Monday night is pick your own favourite poem and read it out - - - but later on use this as a base for one of your own or try and fiqure out what the poet was trying to say in perhaps their strange poetic way.
mine is sexpot by Charles Bukowski
I have here a subject in which I find anything goes and in my poem it does just that!
Comment is about Write Out Loud at Stockport art gallery tonight (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Nicola Beckett
Fri 7th Apr 2017 15:46
Hello Martin, Thank you for this beautiful poem. It says much more than the words you have used. Very special. Keith
Comment is about Robbers tongue (blog)
Original item by Martin Elder
Darius, I enjoyed reading this as I have often wondered how many poets, writers use a keyboard as opposed to a pen. I must use a pen and paper in order to produce drafts and to correct but also I find something between pen and paper which is more meaningful and allows the mind to engage more fully with what is being written. I am not ashamed to say that I even use a fountain pen. Your Ode to the Keyboard is beautifully written and also an inviatation hard to decline. Thank you for this. Keith
Comment is about Ode to the keyboard (blog)
Original item by darius manning
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 7th Apr 2017 10:24
highly enjoyable - the comments too. Great stuff Ray.
Comment is about IN AT THE DEEP END (blog)
Original item by ray pool
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 7th Apr 2017 10:20
Hello Daniel, I am a relative newcomer to WOL and came across your profile and the poem The Place where only Dead Men Sleep. This particular poem interests me as I have written similarly in a poem called Hell´s Quagmire which is posted on my profile. We write not from experience as we are too young yet you have captivated the atmosphere so well of what life was like in the trenches. I drew a lot of my inspiration from old war time photos and some written works. Your poem has a special essence to it. Thank you. Keith
Comment is about Daniel Dwyran (poet profile)
Original item by Daniel Dwyran
Hello Daz, I am a relative newcomer to WOL and recently came across your profile, the poems of which I have enjoyed, especially Late Meetings, Today we painted a door, Finding Myself and Performance. I like your style and wit. I look forward to reading more. Thanks. Keith
Comment is about dazzer (poet profile)
Original item by dazzer
Not sure why Graham thinks it's "gentile". I'd better ask Ken Livingston.
Comment is about Colette (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
I am envious of this, Harry. Perfect touch and tone. Shades of Coward and Betjeman meets Anfield. Have you ever been able to keep it in yer britches?
Comment is about Colette (blog)
Original item by Harry O`N eill
Hello Ray, Thank you for commenting on Just after... Your comment was true indeed. I waited for my sweets which I shared with my Nan. They were always humbugs. It was a different world. Thank you again. Keith
Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)
Original item by ray pool
A poignant tribute to the decent people in society of whatever hue and origin and a calling out that what happened isn't who we are.
Comment is about CROYDON (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Like Graham, Paul, I struggle to appreciate jazz. I can take trad jazz in small doses but I'm always emotionally searching for structure.
An excellent choice, mind you, for your audio. Well read (mine need around a dozen takes!) with the effect of the alliteration at the end really coming through.
Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Thank you Frances, I feel very encouraged by your comment. The good folk on here, yourself included, haven't half helped me since I started posting in Dec. I'm beginning to feel brave enough to get out there and start doing some readings because I am enjoying all this so much.
Happy days ?
Paul
Comment is about Jazz Notes, Harlem 1950's (blog)
Original item by Paul Waring
Wow Ray, what a trip ?
Were you, by any chance, also engaged in calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary, craft? ?
Just a thought.
Paul
Comment is about HISTORIES AND MYSTERIES (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Very funny Trevor and top marks for:
'And people so cool 'cause they live in a fridge'
Paul
Comment is about Lucy’s Lament (blog)
Original item by Trevor Alexander
Having slept on it and awoken - always a good way to start the day peut-être - it strikes me that this pomette is autobiographical - I used to have waking dream moments - when working as UK's most inept glassblower (not my fault that) - of being asleep in a forest glade and a passing band of troubadours waking me up saying, "You've been asleep too long."
Then followed my 'getting' the Incredible String Band (still getting them long after they disbanded) and setting off acid prompted to find 'god' (an ongoing quest - having 'found God' one then moves deeper into that endless reality).
I used the name, Anaïs, as I liked the sound of it - Betty woulda done just fine too, but there's a built in sense of 'any' there so maybe Anaïs means anyone I met on the way - everyone we meet instructs us somehow.
p.s. I just gave it a tryout in Shakespearean tempo - except for the 'bade' stanza it works quite well _ I'll try it out at posh dos :)
Comment is about To Anaïs - A Lover I Met On The Way (blog)
Original item by Rick Gammon
suki spangles
Sun 9th Apr 2017 01:22
Hi elP,
Reading about your experience reminds me of certain different though painful experiences. It's not just about memory, but the way they often arise again and again unbidden, and relived again and again, breathing new life into something you wish would remain a corpse.
What can I say? Looking at it, gazing at it, and letting go is a victory - of sorts.
Brilliant write.
Suki
Comment is about chalk one up (blog)
Original item by nunya